When The Past Escapes You
by Lost1n7heDark
Summary: After a nightmare, Buffy and Scoobs find out something has happened to Faith while in prison. But when they get there, things are just not quite as they expected...Eventual B/F, so be warned. Rated for language. Review if you read. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

**So here's the start of a new story, less fighting, I'm thinking, and more drama. We'll see how it turns out. Buffy/Faith, eventually, so be warned. **

**Nobody's reviewed on my one-shot, 'Payback', so if you are a long lasting reviewer of mine, please go read and review it. **

**In case it wasn't noted, I really do like reviews. A lot. So review. **

**Oh and I suppose I should disclaimer this. BtVS isn't mine. ****Damnit. ;)**

**Enjoy and review. **

* * *

"You know why you hated me?"

Willow turned around, eyes widening at the voice, and body tensing at the sight. Her throat released a sound that slightly resembled a squeak. She hardly trusted herself to say a word, and for some reason, she hardly trusted herself to move, either.

"Cause I had the one thing with Buffy that you didn't have." Cigarette smoke billowed out gracefully from the luscious lips that moved. The lips that turned up at the corners to reveal a smirk that Willow knew all too well.

"Connection." The lips said. The lips that were on the face that was on the body that was under the clothes and the hair and the make up and the posture that induced fear into all her enemies. Her enemies, who once were her friends.

**So to speak.**

"W-what are-are you doing here?" Willow cursed herself for the stutter. Time had passed long enough to rid herself of it, and yet here it was, making another appearance as fear and anger crept over her.

"You tell me, Red. You brought me here."

The office seemed painfully familiar. But even more familiar, was the figure scrambling on the floor, an ancient book spread open before her. Willow gasped, and flinched when she felt a strong hand on her shoulder.

"I guess it's time."

She stood in the doorway, pausing for a moment, and Willow saw a look. A strangely human look in the face she often recognized as a monster. Then it was gone, and the smirk was back, with a steely glint in the dark, unforgiving eyes. She tilted her head slightly before opening her mouth to speak. Willow wondered briefly, where the cigarette had gone.

"Check out the bookworm."

"Faith!" The girl before them looked oh so much like a deer in the headlights, and Willow knew that she was swallowing the lump of doom that had accumulated in her throat.

"Anyone with brains, anyone who knew what was going to happen to her, would try to claw her way out of this place. But you, you just can't stop Nancy Drew-ing, can you? Guess now you know too much and that kinda just naturally leads to killing."

Scrambling to her feet, Willow's younger self was holding back her shaking hands.

"Faith, wait. I want to talk to you."

_Oh Goddess. Here it comes. _

But this time, something told her to look more carefully. She stared deeply at the menacing face, and was startled to see that look come across again, ever so quickly, that she thought she may have imagined it.

"Oh yeah? Give me the speech again, please. Faith, we're still your friends. We can help you. It's not too late."

"No!" Willow wanted to stop it, she rushed to stop the words she knew were inevitable, but she heard them pouring from her own lips, remembering the bitterness, the hatred, the jealousy.

"It's way too late. You know, it didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo! Poor you. You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean, you had friends in your life like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a Slayer and now you're nothing. You're just a big selfish, worthless waste."

Time seemed to freeze and when Willow turned to look at the other girl's face, she saw it. There it was again. Now she knew what it was. Deep, deep pain. Lodged inside those icy, dark eyes that none of them had managed to see before.

"No...Faith...I swear I didn't...I didn't know..." She wanted to hug her, apologize, even. It didn't make sense.

Because she **hated** her. She hated this girl, this evil entity that had tried to take her best friend away from her. Who had slept with her childhood crush and threw him out like a used toy. She hated her, right? She despised her seductive ways, her blunt mannerisms, her wild and feral attitude about life. It was dangerous, and she wanted nothing of it. More so than that, she wanted Buffy to have nothing to do with it. But here she was now, eyes tearing up at the deadened expression on the dark haired beauty's savage face.

Then as soon as it had stopped, time pressed on, allowing this girl named Faith to swing a punch at the frailer redhead. Willow gasped as the fist went through her and hit...her. Well, the other her. She winced, remembering the throbbing she experienced in her jaw afterwards. She glanced at her self with a sorry smile, then turned back.

"You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient." The voice was husky with a desperation she didn't remember. Suddenly she realized that those eyes were looking at her. Not at the figure on the ground, but at **her**.

"Faith...I promise I didn't mean to say-"

"No, Red. You did. I guess this is just a good memory to look back on" Her eyes closed for a moment before opening again.

"For closure."

_Closure?_

Willow had no time react to the spine-crushing hug that Faith was giving her, body shaking with tremors and head burrowed deep into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Willow. So, so, sorry..."

Slowly, she reached around the leather jacket, pushing aside any doubts in her mind and returned the embrace. They stood there for a moment before Faith pulled herself away, lips smiling and wiping something from her eyes (not tears, never tears) before stepping back. She lifted her hand in a gesture of goodbye. The world around them was fading into black and the only clear image before her eyes was Faith's ever grinning lips and her ever brooding eyes.

"Bye, Red."

Then the world went dark.

* * *

"I'm about ready to pop."

Xander's eyes nearly bulged when he heard the words. He swung around deftly and nearly choked on his spit. There he was. Standing there, looking as nervous as he remembered. And there **she** was. As wild as he remembered, and still beautiful and dark. Stumbling over, cautiously, he gazed into her eyes, remembering. Dark, enticing, mysterious, and oh so lustful. Her hands reached over and rubbed over his chest. Not his chest. His other's chest.

"Really?" His younger voice squeaked, as his eyes glanced at the sturdy hands on his chest.

"Pop?!"

"What the hell..." Xander murmured, head spinning.

"You up for it?" There was that sexy smile he'd dreamed of for days after the incident. And before the incident. The smile that brought about weak knees the same way the sun brought light.

He watched himself nod.

_Idiot. Fucking idiot!_

"Oh, I'm up."

Both Xanders tensed as one of her hands dropped, purposefully.

"I'm suddenly **very** up. It's just, um...I've never been up with people before." He grinned sheepishly, embarrassed to admit his virginity to this wild and feral girl, younger than him yet oh so experienced.

She grabbed him by the chin and kissed him full on the lips, a sample of the cake. Xander remembered that kiss. Oh did he remember. Intense, passionate. Every guy's dream come true. Except he remembered that he wasn't ready. Not at all. Still young, still innocent, he didn't know any better.

"Just relax... And take your pants off."

"Those two concepts are antithetical."

Xander almost groaned at the undeniably geeky little boy he was. Antithetical? As if Faith cared. But he cut himself some slack. He was a dork back then. Still is.

_Off with the jacket, off with the shirt, and on to the bed._

He remembered well. She had pushed him onto the bed and jumped up excitedly, straddling him with a beautiful grin on her flawless face.

"Don't worry. I'll steer you around the curves." She pulled off her shirt. He gulped. Those breasts. They were a very good source of pleasure with or without clothing. He knew his younger self had felt the same way.

**Some things never change.**

"Did I mention that I'm having a very strange night?"

Xander watched, but not in the sense that overwhelmed boys when they watched people fuck in pornographic videos. No, he watched as a man would watch a couple making love. Suddenly, things he didn't notice then hit him now. Such as the softness of her movements, the slow yet confident way she handled his virgin body. He not only saw the gentle touch, he remembered it. The caution she took with him; there was nothing hard or fast in the way they had sex. His eyes teared up and for some reason couldn't shake the feeling that maybe this was the best way he could've lost his virginity. He always forced the idea that this night was a blur into his head, into others' heads. But it wasn't. It was soft, slow and beautiful.

_She can love. She just didn't know how._

He remembered the cuddling, his fingers running lightly over her arm, and the innocent, and open gaze in which she smiled at him. There was an expression on her face that screamed for help. For something more than just this. As if she longed for something other than just a simple fuck all the time. But he also remembered dismissing it as manipulation when she'd thrown him out. And he watched it happen again. She pushed the half naked boy out of the door, holding a bundle of his clothes and her wrapped up in a bed sheet. Looking at her face now, he saw fear. Fear that she may have made herself completely vulnerable to someone. To another person.

"That was great. I gotta shower." She shut the door behind her, and leaned against the door, eyes closed. Then they opened.

"Guess you never knew how scared I was." She said softly, looking directly at him. The sorrow in her eyes broke his heart.

"Faith..." He started, stepping towards her, hand reaching out. She shook her head, waving a hand at him, seemingly dismissive. She moved to sit down at the edge of her bed, sighing deeply.

"It started off like any other guy. I thought it'd be easy. It wasn't." Pausing, she glanced up at him.

"I didn't pursue it. Thought I'd done enough. But I had to pretend, right? Pretend like it never happened. Like it didn't matter." She sighed again, brushing her hair away angrily.

"Faith...I...I should've seen it..." He stammered, unsure.

She smiled gracefully and got up, moving towards him. Her free hand rested on his shoulder, but he felt no warmth. He almost felt nothing at all. Maybe a slight wisp of air. Gossamer.

"Sorry, Xander. I really am." She tiptoed upwards and he felt her soft lips brush against his cheek. He thought the blur in his vision was from the tears. It may have been. Or maybe it wasn't. The lips then past his cheek and waited next to his ear before whispering.

"Bye, X-man."

Then there was no more light.

* * *

"Still wondering what you're doing here, or have you figured it out yet?"

Buffy resisted the urge to jump a mile high at the sudden sound in the silence. She stood with her arms crossed, as her counterpart slowly revolved her steps around her, like a predator playing with its prey.

"Slayer dream." She replied curtly.

It was all she could do from beating the hell out of the smirking girl, clad in leather, looking as beautiful as she always did. It irked Buffy. Most all the bad guys in her story were ugly, deformed creatures that fit their malicious and dirty characters. But not **her**. Never her. She managed to look like a goddess. One of darkness and evil, wielding herself as gracefully as Buffy could. Wild and rash, yes, but never sloppy. She made evil look enticing. Made it look as elegant as her make up and her finely tailored clothes.

"Halfway there, B. Dream? Yea. Slayer? Somewhat, considering we're both exactly that." She stopped circling and stood facing her, her face blank and void of any emotion, save the slight upwards jerk of her strained lips. As if she had something else behind her words.

"Don't play games with me, Faith." Buffy made her voice as cold and as harsh as she could. As unhappy as she was to see her, the room made her even less comfortable. This place; where it started and where it would eventually end. It made her feel twitchy inside.

"Ah, don't worry about it." The other girl glanced at the red lights on the bedside radio/clock before turning on the stereo and jumping on the bed with a comic book in hand. Looking back, she gave Buffy a quick wink and a soft smile.

"You'll be here soon."

Passing the stereo and nearing the bed, Buffy did her best to ignore the loud music and spoke angrily.

"What-" She stopped and turned. So did the dark haired wonder on the bed.

The room rested in silence.

_Oh my god._

"Thought I'd stop by."

_No..._

The surprise on Buffy's face stayed, while the shock in the other girl's face quickly transformed itself into a grin. A very shit-eating, I-don't-care-anymore grin.

"Is he dead yet?" The hope underlying the voice was unmistakable. Yet Buffy picked up on a hint of regret that she hadn't noticed before. She reached out to shake the other out of this recurring nightmare. But when she stretched her hand, her fingers went right through the body, as though she was a ghost. With a gasp, she pulled it back. What **was** this?

"He's not gonna die. It was a good try, though. Your plan?" By this time, they were both standing up, the seemingly friendly banter layered with scorn and built up feelings of hatred. Buffy stared at herself, dressed in leather, dressed the way she always feared to. Her body movements, her tone full of energy that was taken up a notch with the need to kill. There were three Slayers in the room, but only two had their powers pulsing at the top, ready to explode. One was made to be that way all the time, and the other was forced to be that way by the girl standing before her.

"Uh-huh. The Mayor got me the poison. Said it was wicked painful." The neat and straightened dark hair followed the movements of its owner, who was used to expressing herself with physical gestures.

"There's a cure."

"Damn." As convincing as it may have sounded then, now Buffy heard it again. Relief?

"What is it?"

"Your blood." The death in her voice was undeniable. It was there, and ready to fulfill what it claimed it would. Buffy remembered the feelings inside of her, so ready to kill this girl, her worst enemy. She watched as her younger self gave a grim, tight-lipped grin.

"As justice goes, it's not un-poetic, don't you think?"

"Don't..." Buffy whispered.

_Don't bait her. Don't bait __**me**__. Please..._

"Come to get me? You gonna feed me to Angel? You know you're not going to take me alive."

"Not a problem."

Her heart panicked. This couldn't be happening. Not again. She fought back the urge to scream, but she couldn't just stand there.

"Well, look at you. All dressed up in big sister's clothes." Dark eyes danced with excitement, but why? Even then, they both knew that Buffy could take her. Could break her, in the end, no matter how hard the struggle. So why did she look so excited? Happy, even?

Taking her steps cautiously, the young Buffy couldn't hide the contempt and mockery from her voice.

"You told me I was just like you. That I was holding it in."

They approached each other until they were face to face. Toe to toe. Eyes boring into each other, trying to figure out all the motives, the emotions, everything. Buffy remembered not caring. Just wanting to kill. To destroy the evil before her. Suddenly killing Faith had become about the job. Faith was evil, she was meant to die by Buffy's hands. It was destined. It was the legacy.

"Ready to cut loose?"

Now Buffy understood. She always thought those words meant to ask if she was ready to be like Faith, wild and dangerous and evil. No. Those words meant something else.

_Are you ready to be free? Ready to just be, Buffy? Are you ready to accept who you are? Not a killer, not a murderer, but a Slayer? Are you ready to make mistakes that I've made, Buffy? Are you ready to make mistakes to grow into a better person than I have become? Are you ready to cut loose, B? Are you ready? _

_Are you ready to accept yourself, Buffy?_

"Try me." Even now she could hear misunderstanding. And Faith did too.

_I'm ready to kill you._

"Okay then. Give us a kiss." Mocking. Biting. Because she knew that Buffy didn't understand.

_Guess you're not ready, then._

"Stop!" Buffy yelled, ignored, watching helplessly as she saw the punch land on Faith's jaw.

Then the whirl as Faith backhanded her. She remembered that backhand. Hurt like hell, but she never showed it. She wanted to close her eyes, but they were glued to the fight, as it progressed. Her blood boiled, enthralled by the grace of the movements and the skill that they'd both possessed at such a young age. She'd fought in cold methods. Calculated. Precise. But Faith fought like a demon, the glint in her eyes expressing her bloodlust.

"Not getting tired are you? I'm just starting to feel it."

The fight continued, and the strikes were quick and strong. Grabbing at each other, they fell through the large window, falling onto the terrace. Buffy followed them, landing with a grunt that wasn't needed. She could hardly feel the concrete below her. She watched as the young Buffy cuffed Faith's wrist to hers, hazel eyes gleaming with triumph.

"Stick around." She'd repeated Faith's words right back at her. Biting remarks and ironic quips. Something she always had a knack for.

Buffy was an onlooker of her own battle against the darkness that Faith represented. She was the shadow that loomed in her own mind, and it'd frightened her, though she'd never admit it.

**There**. There was that awkward position she caught Faith in before...

"What's the matter? All that killing, you afraid to die?"

Faith spun Buffy so she could get the leverage to use her legs and managed to snap the handcuff chain. They faced it off again, handcuffs on their wrists long forgotten, and Buffy's eyes widened as Faith picked up a long pole of a pipe and faced her opponent. Buffy's fists clenched as she watched herself pull out a knife. The knife. Faith's knife. She never did know the significance of that knife, but she remembered the rage that roared in Faith's voice when she spoke next through grit teeth.

"That's **mine**."

_You have no idea what you're holding. That means something to me. That's mine. Mine. _

"You're about to get it back." Cold. Calculated. Distant.

_I'm ready to kill you, Faith. Be ready to die. Are you ready to die?_

"Oh god...no..." Buffy held back a sob.

The Rogue Slayer dodged the knife attacks, and somehow managed to grapple with Buffy, holding her over a ledge with that excited grin on her face again.

"Man, I'm going to miss this." Excited. Happy. Child-like.

_I'm gonna miss sparring, B. Gonna miss our connection. Are you?_

"No!" Buffy screamed as time slowed itself, she watched in horror as the hands she knew were hers broke from the grip and time sped back up as the knife slid into Faith's stomach. So clean. She remembered it slipping through the flesh, the body as though it was made of butter. She'd plunged it in, expecting resistance, and yet met with none. It was almost too easy.

She ran towards them, reaching desperately, wanting to stop it, wanting so much to help. Buffy gazed up at her face, Faith's eyes full of pain, regret and relief, staring down at the offending blade that reflected her face back to her. As if this was what she wanted all along. Faith looked back up, through her, at the girl behind her.

"You did it." Weak. Smiling. Relieved.

_Finally, B. You did it._

She flung the younger version of the petite blonde down to the ground, still clutching at the open wound in her abdomen.

"You killed me."

Hesitating out of pain, she grunted as she stepped up, closer and closer to the edge of the building.

"Still won't help your boy, though." As she said it, her eyes snapped suddenly to Buffy. The now Buffy, who could only stare back in horror.

"Don't cry, B. **This** is what **you** wanted, right?" Faith chuckled, shaking her head.

"Always got what you want, Little Miss Golden Girl."

Buffy reached over, grabbing her by the shoulders, now being able to touch her. To feel her, even if it was barely noticeable. She tried to pull her back from the ledge, but Faith resisted.

"Faith, please...Please let me help you..." She couldn't hold her tears, and her voice was desperate.

"You weren't ready, B. You weren't ready. This is how it goes, remember?" Faith grinned, pulling away, with a slight grimace at the blood seeping through her hands. Buffy could smell it. It was strong and accusing, and it dripped over their covered feet and stained. It took everything in her power not to vomit, not to break down and curl up into a ball.

"You're dying...oh god...please..."

"Don't beg. Not to me. Don't-" She was interrupted by her own coughing, blood dripping from the lips that so often were the cause of people's downfall. Those lips that were now painted crimson to match the color of her hands. Once the violent coughing ceased, the lips moved again. With purpose.

"I'm sorry, B. I just needed you to know. I'm so sorry." Faith reached and gripped Buffy's shoulders firmly, and Buffy's eyes blinked through tears to meet her gaze, trying to ignore the sound of drip drip dripping on the concrete below them.

With a final chuckle and twinkling of the eyes, Faith pulled Buffy's lips to hers. Softly. Gently. It was a caress, and it was the only heat Buffy could feel, Faith's blood the only thing she could taste. Then the hands were gone. Buffy's eyes shot open, and she could hardly move as Faith shuffled backwards, limping. The smile was back, and she could hear the murmur that she could also remember, and it made her want to scream.

"Shoulda been there, B. Quite a ride." With a wink, she waved a single bloody hand as a gesture of farewell.

_**Bye, B.**_

And so Faith fell as Buffy fell to her knees, crying.

And as she fell, the world around her fell into a darkness she had never known before.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate them. **

**In case some of you don't realize it, when I write a story, it's usually pretty long, so I'm sorry if some can't handle that. But I make up for it by updating frequently as my lovely returning reviewers will tell you, so stick around, grab a drink, and we'll be off. **

**Enjoy and review. Really. Review.**

* * *

All three of them woke up with sobs tearing through their lips, and tears running down their cheeks.

And all three of them ran into each other in front of the bathroom door. They stared at one another, through their tears, through the silent tremors that shook their bodies.

"Faith?"

"Yea."

"Same here."

"Jesus." Xander raked his fingers through his hair, wiping abashedly at the wetness on his cheeks. Never in all the dangers and threats in his life did he feel so helpless. So guilty, either.

"We should call." Buffy said softly.

"Yes. Calling is most def-definitely in order." Willow nodded, hiccuping.

"I thought she was still in prison." He remarked, thoughtfully, leading them downstairs.

"She is. Twenty five to life. Parole if she's lucky." Buffy replied as they sat down at the breakfast table.

"So...scene from the past?"

"Unfortunately."

"Ditto."

They sat in silence, remembering. That's all they had left, wasn't it? Memories?

"So." Xander repeated. Buffy reached for a phone. So did he, and Willow as well. She got to it first but set it on speakerphone. Her fingers trembled slightly as she dialed the numbers.

_Click._

"Angel Investigations, we help the helpless. Cordelia speaking." Her voice sounded rushed and impatient.

"Cordy? Hey, it's Buffy."

"And me."

"M-me too! As in Willow, since obviously it can't be Xander or Buffy, since you already heard them and so it has to be me, which means it's Willow, and...I...um..." She trailed off, blushing at the looks her friends gave her.

Buffy made a face at her friends while an impatient sigh blew into the speaker on the other side.

"Angel's not here."

"Oh. I guess I'll just call his cellpho-"

"He left it."

"Is there some kind of a meeting?"

"No."

"Then why would he leave it?"

"Because he was in a hurry, and speaking of hurrying, I need to go. Hey! Are you ready?" The last part of her sentence was directed towards someone else. Urgent. Eager.

"It's five in the morning, where in the world are you going?"

"To meet with Angel. What else would I be doing?"

"Ooh, a rendezvous? Is there a new big bad in town?" Xander asked cheerfully.

Ironically.

"No. He's at the hospital."

Their hearts sunk to the bottoms of their feet.

"Hospital? Why? Is he hurt? Is he going to be alright? What happened?" Buffy's voice was full of concern and heavy with worry. If anything ever happened to Angel...

"He's fine."

Whew. They all sighed.

"Then why the hospital, if he isn't, you know, hospitalized? Cause hospitals usually means that you're in there for a reason, and-and most of those reasons aren't so good..."

"It's none of your business, and it's not like you people would care."

"What are you talking about? Of course we care, Cordy! Who's hurt?"

"Someone who deserved more than the way you treated them."

Ah. Of course. It totally made sense.

"Cordy, we've all been tough on Wesley, but it doesn't mean we hated him or would be glad if he had come to harm. What happened? Is it serious?"

With an exasperated sigh that resembled more of a growl, Cordelia Chase would have no more. She was worried out of her mind and had no time for this; not now.

"Oh, fuck you all!" She yelled and hung up her phone.

_Beeeeeep_

The dial tone, though unwanted, seemed much friendlier than the voice it replaced. All three of the Scoobs stared at the phone as though there were daisies popping through the mouth piece, but eventually they realized that gawking at the rather uninteresting plastic casing of humanity's latest technology was doing them no good. It was time to reach someone they could get through to. And that was Angel.

But Angel didn't have his cellphone with him.

Reassess, Scoobs.

Angel's at the hospital.

"Which hospital?"

"Most likely the one nearest A.I. Willow?"

"On it."

"You think it's Wes?"

"Probably."

"Cordy seemed pretty upset about it."

"So it's Wes."

"Willow?"

"Checking patient lists."

"Hey maybe you could teach me to do the computer hacking sometime."

"I'm not going to attempt that, Xander, I mean, I couldn't even teach you 9th grade geometry if I tried."

"You **are** a bit slow."

"It's not slow. It's learning impaired."

"So basically, you're retarded."

"No! Well...okay, maybe. But I'm a swift, donut providing retard."

"Yes, thank you, Donut Boy."

"Learn to love it."

"Can we focus here?"

"Sorry Wills. Buffy's fault."

"What?"

"Really, Buff, you're always distracting me."

"Again. What?"

"Don't hurt me!"

"You're hopeless."

"Well excuse me, Miss Perfect. I could be a world-saving hero, too!"

"Oh really? I guess you'd be giving the vampires their donut skills a run for the money."

"Buff-Buffy."

"I happen to find that while good at sucking blood, vampires don't make good donut boys. Nope, they don't!"

"Buffy."

"Xander, I really don't find many vampires with the need to be a deliverer of sweet pastries."

"There are some out there."

"Vampire donut boys. That'll be the day."

"_**Buffy!**_"

"What?!"

Willow glanced up from the screen with a strange look on her face.

"I don't think it was Wes that Cordy was worried about."

"What are you talking about?"

With a trembling finger, she pointed to the last name on the list of recent admittances.

**4:32 AM. **

**Faith Lehane.**

**Room 1214.**

**Admitted from Stockton Women's Correctional Facility.**

**Severe blood loss. Multiple self-inflicted wounds. Severe blow to cranium. Possible trauma. Loss of blood may lead to comatose. **

**Last Check-in: No apparent change in patient. Body seems to be in state of shock. **

**Details otherwise unknown. **

They stared at the screen, not knowing what to say.

For some reason, this made a lot more sense than it did before.

_"...Who's hurt?"_

_"Someone who deserved more than the way you treated them."_

And Angel really did have impeccable timing, for it was he who called them, and it was he who spoke immediately after Buffy answered the phone with a whispered,

"Hello?"

"Buffy, all of you need to get here, **now**."

* * *

And there they were, Giles, Xander, Willow, Buffy, Tara, Anya, Spike, and Dawn, squeezed inside two separate cars, in somber silence.

For the most part.

Tara had always been one for silence, so she was content in her quiet hand holding she partook with Willow. She sat thinking about Faith, and remembering the first and last encounter she had with the well-known psychotic Rogue Slayer. Though Tara never believed the girl was crazy. No, even within Buffy's body she could tell that Faith was far from crazy. Broken, yes. Mentally twisted, yes. Dark and seemingly sociopathic, very much so. But someone with Tara's objective perspective, as well as her power and her patience, could see that Faith was just a little girl. A little girl who apparently was in an extremely terrible state right now, and would need all the help she could get.

Anya was never quiet, and asked too many questions, as always. Most times it was rather amusing, though not many would admit it, and it provided much needed distractions and entertainment. But today it was highly irritating and unnecessary. But the second Xander snapped at her, she pouted and quieted down, huffing to herself about males and their well deserved punishments, as well as something about owed orgasms that turned Xander's ears into a brilliant shade of pink and red. But while she acted unknowing, she secretly pondered on the subject of Faith. There was jealousy that was bound to get involved, but also there was plain curiosity. Anya had been a demoness, after all, so she laughed inwardly at the Scoobies' claim that Faith was some horrendous, evil being with no soul. Silly humans. Pure evil cannot exist inside something that can feel. And from what she heard; Faith was all about feeling.

Dawn couldn't care less at the moment, seeing that it was still much too early for her and so she fell into slumber not long after her grumbles about being woken up from her beauty sleep.

Spike, was the hardest one to accommodate, though he stayed relatively quiet. They didn't even think about taking him, but he had wanted to go. He remembered the Dark Slayer's advances, even though she had been in Buffy's body at the time, and he'd often wondered if any of the rumours were true. He was curious. Who was Faith: this glamorously evil and luscious creature with an off-the-radar sex appeal? Or as the Scooby gang had once explained it: a psychotic murdering bitch who was also a cleavage-y slutbomb with a taste for betrayal? There were no photos of her. Even within the months that she had been somewhat a part of their group, there were none. They hadn't burned them; there just simply weren't any of her in them. She was never a true member, he realized, and somehow this allowed him to feel a sort of kinship with her. Both creatures who were built to kill, built for instinct and danger, with hearts that yearned to belong but were never accepted, turning them to bitterness and rage that nobody but they could understand. He **wanted** to meet her.

Of course, having to stuff himself inside a body bag wasn't one of his best ideas, but with the sun breaking over the horizon, what was he gonna do?

Exactly.

Nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Danke for the reviews, I love'm, so keep them coming, please. This chapter reflects on friendship and especially perspective.  
**

**Enjoy and review.**

* * *

"Angel." She stated simply before embracing him. He returned it, not quite fully, but with 'heart' and soul. He nodded politely at the others, no smile gracing his handsome features.

Behind him stood Wes and Cordelia. Wes greeted them each with typical English courtesy, while Cordelia could only scowl and purse her lips in disapproval. She did not care for these people. They were here to visit a girl whom they had completely devastated, even before the deal with the Mayor had gone down. Sure, Cordy herself had blamed Faith and had clashed head to head - or elbow to cheek - against the Rogue Slayer, but things had changed. Faith had confessed and asked for jail. She had voluntarily signed up to do her time. For redemption.

Now, that in itself hadn't meant much to Cordelia at all.

Actually, it really had nothing to do with her, therefore, she didn't care. But one day, Angel asked a favor of her. She agreed, and soon she was on her way to visit Faith in Angel's place.

"You want **me** to visit Miss Psycho in **prison**?" She had given him the most incredulous of looks, but he was firm.

"Cordy, you owe me. And I promised I'd visit but this trip came up and I need you to go for me. It's clean, don't worry."

She'd muttered angrily but in the end, she enjoyed it and needless to say; she returned for more visits.

* * *

Faith slumped into the seat and picked up the receiver, a blank look on her face.

Cordelia had been surprised; there was no make up on, but still the girl was flatteringly beautiful. She picked up the phone on her side and held it to her ear.

"So. In all the time I'm gonna end up spending here, I never thought I'd ever see you in this dump, Cordy."

"Angel asked me to, this once. Don't worry, it's not gonna be a habit."

"Too bad. I was thinking about telling the girls that you're my new girlfriend."

"Egh. What in the world would possess you to do that? Oh wait, I forgot. You're just evil."

Faith smirked.

"Insulting me already? It's only been 5 minutes." She laughed, but there was no joy in it.

"For the record, Cor, I'm just sick of these fucking dykes trying to get me to get them off by trying to get me off so that I'll feel obligated to return the damn favor."

"Okay. Way too much information. How does Angel handle it?"

"Well I don't normally talk to him in a rude and brusque manner."

"So why to me?"

"You gave up on me, just like everybody else did. Angel didn't. Simple as that."

She was taken aback by the blunt honesty that she was given, though it was often known as a common characteristic that Faith had. Cordelia could only reflect on what Faith had said. It was rather strange. Although she was used to being held separate from the common throng of people due to her high social status and her looks, she was now being thrust into the same group she so desperately tried to distance herself from. The Scoobies. She didn't want to be placed near them in any situation, literal or figurative, yet here it was. It forced her to look at it from Faith's perspective, because for the Rogue Slayer, there were only two groups of people:

Friends. Enemies.

Angel. The rest of the world.

Funny, she'd never thought of how Faith would see things. Somehow she doubted that any of the people Faith had encountered ever thought about how the girl saw things. Except Angel.

Granted, Faith made many choices that any person in their right mind would condemn; you just can't go back and change that, but undoubtedly there were reasons behind the things she did. The way she acted towards others. Pretending to be untouchable, unbreakable, invincible. But the girl had rage. She had rage and pain and regret and a hate so deep that nobody saw past the cover of a woman (who was really just a girl) with extreme sex appeal and a bloodlust that couldn't be satisfied by doing good (or maybe it was just because she was never given the praise she needed to fuel what she was doing).

"And just because you're hot doesn't mean I'm gonna roll over and play dead like Xander would. I'm not Miss Reliable like Red always is, and the whole fucking world knows I'm not anything like goody-two-shoes Buffy Summers, Slayer **fucking** extraordinaire." Faith finished very calmly, eyes flashing so fast Cordelia almost missed it.

"I...I..."

Ladies and gentlemen, it seems that Miss Cordelia Chase has misplaced her voice. Please contact 1-800-FAITH-WINS-AGAIN for more information.

"Gonna get that out before time's up?" Mocking. Bitter. Perhaps even a bit angry.

It almost seemed as though she hadn't changed at all. But something in Cordelia told her different. She took a hold of herself and barged in, like a Chase should.

"Stop pretending to be what they expect you to be, Faith. No matter how much you try to relate me to the past, I'm nothing like those Sunnydale misfits, and you know it!" She snapped her retort and could feel her cheeks flushing.

Faith tilted her head in surprise and her eyebrows shot up, but it only took seconds for her to laugh at the outburst.

"Cordy, you're super hot when you get all worked up like that."

"Faith, I'm super hot **all** the time."

"Now don't go mixing yourself up with me. Prison's a bad place to have an identity crisis."

"Speak for yourself."

"I am. The second sentence **was** about me."

"When isn't everything about you?"

"Whenever everything is all about you, Queen C."

"I resent that."

"You would. I bet you expected your Sunnydale life to fall away once you left, huh?"

"One tends to think so, yes."

"Well, it doesn't work that way, princess. I mean, I'm stuck in this shithole, right? Nothing to slay, not much to eat, no one to **do**..." She wiggled her eyebrows seductively at her fashionably dressed counterpart.

"What about those 'dykes' you mentioned earlier?"

"Funny story, really. I've suddenly lost a taste for scum. Which kinda sucks, cause I just happen to be a fucking scum magnet of sorts."

"More like a scum fucking magnet." Cordelia chuckled in response.

"Touche. But then again, I'm not the one who dated Xander."

"No, you're the one who fucked him."

"Doesn't count. It only lasted 7 minutes." Both girls howled in laughter and suddenly all hostile barriers were broken down.

It went on, and eventually when it was time to leave, Cordelia found herself wanting not to go.

"Gonna visit again, Cor?"

"Count on it."

"Til next time then, you snot-nosed rich bitch."

"Bye, you psychotic slut-bomb."

"Yea, and try to eat something before you start puking up your insides instead of actual food."

"Well you just enjoy thinking about me eating **actual food** over the shit they dish out here."

They both grinned.

"Cya, Cordy."

"Later, Faith."

* * *

This had been months earlier, and the shaky relationship between the two strengthened and now it was a strong friendship. One sprinkled with many sexual innuendos, but still a very good friendship.

So Cordelia could not expressly welcome these people she did not like, because she worried for her friend, and although the past was hardly mentioned, she knew that the Rogue Slayer planned never to see them again. Strangely, for the last couple visits, Faith seemed less animated. Weaker, paler, thinner, even. As if she hadn't been eating enough or resting enough. She swore she was doing fine, and exercising every day to pass her time, but still both Cordelia and Angel voiced their concerns.

Now, it had come to this. They both internally blamed themselves, though they supported each other by assuring them that it was not their fault. But they knew that they both wished they had done something more.

"Hello Cordelia."

"Hey Cordy."

"Hi Cordy."

"Hey."

The ones she didn't really know only smiled or nodded or didn't give her a second glance.

She snorted and rolled her eyes, walking away angrily, Wes trying to assuage her frustration.

"So..." Xander started.

"How is she?" Willow finished helpfully.

"More like, what happened?" Buffy stepped forward.

Angel's lips were set in straight, grim line. He wasn't happy at all. Because this was Faith they were talking about.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: Hello all, thanks much for your reviews. I realize that I usually update every day or every other day, but I have a new housemate for a month; she's small, has four legs, sweet but yappy as hell and consistently gets into fights with my dog. My sister's friend is out of town and needs a petsitter, which means it's us. Therefore, less time to write. But I usually don't go too long without updating, and I do want to finish this, so... That's my excuse. **

**This chapter requires thinking. I know, I know. I'm sorry, it just has to be done. Enjoy and review!**

* * *

Faith, who was the only person in the world that was truly under his guidance. Under his wing, and only his. Faith, who trusted only him with her life, and whom he knew he could trust his life to. Faith, who was like a gift of hope - a gift of faith - from the Powers. A gift that said to him that indeed redemption was possible, and someone as broken as they could find good within themselves. He and Faith were of similar blood. They were alike in so many ways, yet so different. He had years of experience and patience on her, as well as wisdom that came from being old. But she also had experience. One that was completely separated from his, surprisingly more raw, more full of rage and hate and deceit. It was bound to be surprising. Centuries of living and somehow his experiences had nothing on Faith.

Yet of course, that had an explanation that he had come to understand and resent.

He was hated, he had been cursed and feared and rejected for countless years. He had killed and enjoyed it, he had lived in the filth and he had been on top of the underworld. But then he regained his soul, and knew goodness once more. He did good and worked and slaved and pushed himself to salvation. He learned to be at peace and above all, he learned to love. He loved with the whole of his heart and had been loved back. He had seen the world, and had seen it's evils, and had also seen it's good. He knew what he was fighting for, he understood it with all of himself.

But with Faith, it was different. With Faith, it was bound to be.

Angel knew very little about her, nobody he knew had any knowledge of her past, but there were things he had managed to glimpse in her cold, uncaring eyes when she didn't know he was looking.

Faith was hated, she had been cursed at, feared, rejected, for the short amount of years she lived. Angel had been thrown away by strangers. Faith had been internally destroyed by the people she knew. By people she was supposed to love, and who were supposed to love her. Her family, the few 'friends' she may have known far back in her past. They all used her, betrayed her, and left her. That was all she knew. It was all she learned to do.

Use. Betray. Run.

She had also killed and enjoyed the feeling of being in control. She craved it. Control. Because what else did she have control over? Nothing. When she held the knife, when she held life in her hands, it made her a god. And who would want to give that up? Especially someone who had her face smashed into the dirt so many times, she could hardly tell the difference between the mud and the night sky?

So she took. She took everything and anything she could take, because nothing in life was ever given freely to her, and all she knew how to do was take before somebody took her, and she kept taking more and more until she took lives away and by then she believed she was so far gone, she took the plunge, as well.

"I went so far down I thought, 'This is it. This is all you'll ever be good for, and this is all you'll ever be.' And maybe I was right, Angel. Maybe I'm just too far gone." She'd said to him, not even a month ago.

No, he'd told her. She was more than that. He knew it. She knew it. Cordelia knew it. But steadily the progress he'd made from bottom up was beginning to diminish. Her eyes lost the glimmer of hope; that hope of salvation. Her smiles were strained, and her words were full of self-loathe and strange need for death.

"Most days I wake up and think I don't deserve to be alive, and most nights I go to sleep thinking that someday I'll go back to Sunnydale and get Buffy to finish the job she started. Then maybe I'll feel at peace again. Then maybe it'll make up for all the shit I did to her and the Scoobs. Angel, maybe I just need to be killed off. Like a fucking animal. Like the fucking animal that I am."

"Faith, how many times do I have to tell you that this isn't about Buffy, or the Scoobies, or even Sunnydale?" He felt desperate, and Cordelia later nearly cried after hearing her words.

They were slowly losing her, but not to evil. They were losing her to that voice inside of her that told her she was worthless. That she was useless, hopeless, helpless, and less than the grit beneath her prison boots. That she was nothing. Absolutely nothing. To anyone, least of all herself.

God, how much he'd wanted to strangle himself when he got the call from the Warden. She was locked up in solitary. Every action, every movement was self-destructive and the last straw was when she purposefully picked a fight with the toughest girls during gym time, and allowed herself to be mauled by 7 angry, violent grown women twice her age. Why solitary? Because they knew she could've kicked ass in seconds, but she just let her arms flop and closed her eyes, waiting for them to go so far as to kill her.

Solitary.

Nothing but four lovely concrete walls and a steel door with several bolts and a slot for food. She started slamming herself against the walls, smashing fists into them, screaming, cursing, begging, throwing major fits. Three days later, Angel received another call; one that made him rush out the door and into his car faster than the speed of light. Somehow, Cordelia knew.

Faith had collapsed not only from lack of food and self-inflicted injuries, but also a concussion to the head that could not have been done alone. It was the main cause of the blood loss, and the moment Angel found who did this, they were going to pay dearly. Even with a soul, Angel was not one such vampire to be trifled with, especially with the life of one of his closest friends on the line. He also intended to sue the facility for not making sure she was eating and for the overlooking of her injuries. He would take and drain of them every single fucking penny for this; he would make sure of it.

* * *

"And now?" Buffy's voice was hardly a whisper. Willow managed an imitation of a guppy before being gutted, and she did it rather well.

"She's stabilized. She woke up not too long ago, but she should be sleeping now."

"Was she doing alright then? Still capable of livelihood functions?" Giles asked. Angel sighed.

"Well, there was a bit of a problem."

"Tell me about it." Cordelia muttered unhappily.

"What?" Buffy had to ask.

"Well-"

* * *

"Faith!" He sounded relieved.

To be honest, he was.

He pushed past the nurse, who was desperately trying to get his attention.

"You're awake." He gave her a small smile as he sat himself into the chair next to her bed.

But something was wrong.

She wasn't returning his smile, instead her eyes watched him warily.

"Faith?"

"Hey." She replied cautiously.

"Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

"Alright, I guess."

He gave her a strange look. Why was she being so distant with him?

"What's wrong?"

"I'm in a hospital with a wicked headache and multiple injuries I don't recall, surrounded by people I've never seen before. Who the **fuck** are you, and how do **you** think it feels?" Her voice was full of frustration and exhaustion.

She wouldn't admit it, but she was feeling fearful. Why couldn't she remember? She knew this guy. She could feel it, but she had no idea who this was. Her body knew him. Trusted him. Recognized him.

"Sorry, I'm just tired, and I don't have any idea who I am or who you are, and it's gonna take a little time to get used to it, you know?"

Angel had no response ready for something like this. His heart - if he had one - almost broke the second he realized she didn't know who he was. He finally noticed the nurse, who shrugged at him apologetically.

"I'm sorry, sir. It seems that she's having a mild case of amnesia. Perhaps if there were more familiarities, you could trigger her memory. It'll pass; we just can't give you an estimate timing."

Of course. Triggers.

Cordelia rushed in before he could say a word. Other than her name.

"Cordy-"

"Faith! God, you had us so worried! Are you okay?"

Faith's mouth opened briefly, then closed. Then she blinked.

"She doesn't remember who you are." Angel came to the rescue. Cordelia turned to him with a panicked look.

"What?!"

"She has amnesia. She doesn't remember us."

Cordelia's eyes sparkled with unshed tears. This was so unfair.

"I remember." Faith's voice was gentle. So unlike...**her**. They turned.

"I just don't remember everything." She smiled. It freaked both of them out.

Faith had just spoken softly, and she just smiled in a non-sexual, non-smirking and non-threatening way. Indeed, the world **must** be coming to an end. They stared at her wide-eyed, but eventually came to their senses.

"What do you mean?" Angel asked, coming of the trance first.

"I mean I can feel that I...I know you, man. And you." She nodded at Cordelia.

"My body, or whatever, recognizes you. I just don't know your names, or who you are to me, though I could take a guess."

So she remembered that she knew them. Whatever that meant, it was a start.

"I'm Angel. This is-"

"Cordelia."

Faith smiled again. It freaked them out again. Just not as much.

"Cool. Now we all know each other's names. And the only reason I know mine is because every single person coming through that door has called me that."

They laughed. It was a little awkward, though somewhat comforting.

"So...you're my...?" She asked, staring directly at Angel.

"What?"

"What are we? Cause I keep getting this vibe thing, you know, the one that says 'you're safe with this person'. I don't know what you are to me. Best friend? Brother? Boyfriend? Long lost cousin?"

He couldn't help but smile tearfully at her non-sensical hand gestures.

"Something like the first one."

"They said you were my legal guardian. Guardian Angel, huh?" She chuckled.

He, on the other hand, let out a choked cry, turning from the sight of Faith, covered in cuts and bruises she'd done to herself. Turning from Faith, who was now void of all memory, calling him her guardian angel. Cordelia laid a hand on his shoulder.

"That's what he was to you before you lost your memory. I'm glad you can still feel it for him now." She murmured softly.

Faith looked at her. This brunette named Cordelia. Her body reacted strangely, as though somewhat confused at how to feel about her. There was something that screamed danger, something that screamed at her senses to run and to keep running, but another part of her that soothed her and told her it was alright. That everything was cool. She hoped to God it was the latter she could trust, 'cause there was nowhere for her to run.

"It's different with you. With us. Like we've got some history, but it isn't really against you. It's against the history, whatever it is. Our past, I guess, is what's making me want to tear off or something." She paused, watching Cordelia's face burn with the slight accusation. Faith didn't know what had happened, but she was sure she didn't want to know. It felt bad. So she felt the need to add a joke. Something comical to take their minds off of it.

"But between you and me, my body's all for fucking the brains out of **your** body. You're hot." She winked, hoping she didn't say the wrong thing.

She didn't.

Cordelia burst out in relieved laughter, tears falling freely.

"God, you're still in there, Faith, you leather-clad slutbomb!"

"Hey listen. I'm not the one in designer clothes at 6 in the morning **inside** a fucking hospital."

"Touche."

They laughed easier this time. It seemed that Faith kept her quick wit and sense of brash humor. Thank the heavens. What would they do without it?

Angel looked to Cordelia.

"You said Buffy called?"

Making a face, she nodded.

"Yea. And her two annoying little sidekicks. They think it's Wes who's hurt."

"Do they know who it is?"

"No, I hung up before they asked. It's not like we want them here." She didn't mention the high factor of how much **she** didn't want them here, but it was already concluded.

"Well, I think we should have them come. Faith needs more triggers to her memory, and they're a big part of it."

Faith raised her hand and waved it.

"Hello. Still here."

Pause.

"What kind of a candy-assed name is Buffy?!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for your reviews, I couldn't live without them. I do think this will make up the last couple days. This is where the drama starts to climb...**

**Enjoy and review.**

* * *

Cordelia shrieked in laughter at the recollection, and Angel hid his with a cough.

"You should've seen her face when she asked. Oh my God!"

Buffy glowered. Xander grinned. Willow patted her best friend's arm while biting her lip. Dawn laughed, Tara smiled, Anya was busy bothering the nurse for a drink. Giles flustered, Spike snorted, and Angel coughed again.

"Gotta admit it, Buff. Your name **is** pretty candy-assed."

"Xander!" Willow admonished.

_Slap!_

"OW!" He yelped, rubbing his arm where Buffy had smacked him. Hard. He grinned apologetically at her.

"Sorry, sorry. Just finding the humor before we go in to greet our favorite psychopath."

_Slap!_

"OW! What the hell?!" He nursed his other arm, where Cordelia - this time - had slapped him.

"Watch your mouth, loser geek. Only I get to insult Faith."

"Okay, geesh."

They all walked in.

* * *

When Faith woke up she yawned and blinked at the artificial light that shone from the ceiling. She felt several people in chairs next to her, others standing, and she could feel Angel's calming vibe coming from the doorway. The newcomers felt different. There was something...uncomfortable about their presence. Underneath it all, there was something stronger, something powerful. It felt peacefully right, but her body wanted to vomit up the hospital food.

She turned to face them.

With a cry of anguish she nearly flew out of the hospital bed, eyes wide and cords being yanked from her body. The sheets were tangled off of her, but she couldn't have scrambled back any faster. She started to sweat profusely, and her back slammed against the wall, though she strained against it, as if she could go further. There was a throb in her abdomen that she didn't recognize, and that need to vomit was right there on the tip of her tongue. She swallowed it down, hands shaking, clutching at the pain in her stomach.

There they were, people she didn't remember, faces she didn't truly recognize, but her body knew them. Four of them, out of the eight newcomers. Her body screamed of danger.

Danger.

Fear.

Pain.

"Faith?" Now they were all standing, and Angel stepped towards her, hand reaching out. His first step made her flinch and scoot further away from all of them. He stopped, fear evident in his eyes.

"Faith?" He repeated, softly now.

But her eyes were not on him. They were on the four. The three. The two. The one. She feared them; the old man with the glasses, the young man with innocent eyes, the redhead with hidden energy, the blonde with...with...

* * *

_The knife slid into her stomach like butter._

_Time sped back up as the knife slid into her stomach. So clean. It slipped through the flesh, the body as though it was made of butter. It'd plunged in, expecting resistance, and yet met with none. It was almost too easy._

_Too easy._

_Easy._

_The knife slid into her body..._

_Slipped through the flesh._

_Time sped up._

_The knife slid into..._

_So clean._

_Plunged._

_The knife..._

_The knife._

* * *

She choked and she couldn't stop the vomit this time, retching past her lips onto the tile below her. She'd fallen to her knees and her non-existent nails scraped at the floor as she coughed up her food, her bile, her acid, her blood. After she was done, she wiped her mouth with her arm, bringing her knees up against her chest and head leaning back against the wall with a trembling sigh.

"Oh my god!" Cordelia rushed to help her, but Angel stopped her.

Buffy stepped forward, cautiously.

Faith's deep breaths stopped and her body froze. They could all see it. Buffy stopped. There was a beeping noise that had risen in tempo; the heart monitor was the only thing still attached to Faith's body, and it was steadily getting faster. Internally, everyone gasped at the meaning of this new development.

Faith was afraid. Deathly afraid, and it was showing.

"Get out." Her voice cut through the air huskily.

"Faith-"

"Get out! Get the fuck out! Make them leave, Angel! Get them out!" She was standing back up, yelling, still shaking, arms up near her face and blocking their eyes from her face, hoping it would somehow make them disappear.

"Faith, it's okay. They're your friends-" Angel was confused. So was everybody else. They didn't know quite what they were expecting, but it was certainly not this.

"Friends? **Friends?!**" Faith's voice reached another octave, her eyes flashing with fear and desperation, her hands gesturing quickly.

"I don't know any of you, or anything about you. Your names, who you are to me, who I am to you. But my body knows." She glanced around, hoping for an exit. An escape. But she was surrounded by these people. These bodies that her own body was reacting to.

"My body knows friends. I could feel Angel; I could feel Cordelia. But **they**-" Faith paused, staring straight at the Scooby gang.

"What did you do to me?" She whispered hoarsely at them, hands tightening against herself, nails gripping through the hospital gown and breaking through the flesh around the scar she did not remember existed between the cloth.

* * *

Giles couldn't believe it. He was at a loss for words, at a loss for anything at all. His sense of superiority plunged, as did his ego. He'd felt that they were doing a noble thing. An honourable thing, visiting Faith in her time of need. That they were doing some sort of charity work for some poor sod who didn't know any better. Inwardly he cringed. How could he had stooped into such narcissism about his little group? Now here he was - here he had been - waiting for some sort of an apology from Faith, who he had seen no more than a criminal. An adversary to his very own daughter-like Slayer. Just another obstacle.

_So there, Giles. _

_There she's standing, you bloody fool. Asking, in fear, what it is that you've done to her to make her feel so threatened. Because even after she'd lost all memory of who you were, she could never forget what you had made her feel. _

_Good God. What are we to say?_

* * *

Years of living with girls, Xander learned not to ask questions about the emotional breakdowns that females often seemed to have.

Faith, however, was a different story altogether. She was a symbol of sex, danger, and psychotic...ness. He feared her, yes. It was true. He feared her deeply, just as he knew the rest of the gang did. Even Buffy was afraid of her, though she tried not to show it. Faith was unpredictable, and manipulative beyond anyone else they'd - he'd - ever encountered. She was wild, daring, and provocative; something that they didn't understand. Her experiences were completely different, her life completely new. She was far from typical, but that was her downfall.

Oh yes, they'd all been scared.

_Scared shitless. _

_I come here, not knowing __**what**__ to expect, and now she's lost her memory. I guess we should all be relieved, but not while she's standing there like a wounded animal, haunted and afraid. _

_She's afraid of us. If I moved a step closer, she wouldn't tackle me across the room and strangle me, she'd flinch away, as if I'd slapped her. _

_What do I say?_

* * *

"We...we're here to help you, Faith." Giles' voice remained calm, remained as un-trembling as he could keep it.

"You can't help me."

They all glanced up quickly at her, everything behind that statement and her tone making them hope that maybe Faith remembered...but she didn't. She was just telling it how it was, something so characteristically **her**, if only she could remember **who** she was.

"They're going to help you remember, Faith." Angel stepped closer, and he wanted so desperately just to reach over quickly and help her up, but he didn't want to scare her.

He knew how easily Faith switched over to defensive.

"I don't **want** to remember, if they're what it takes." She replied meekly, sounding ever so much like a child.

Well, isn't that what she was?

Just a child?

"F-Faith?" Dawn said nearly as timidly, pushing past the rest of them. Her eyes not quite believing what she was seeing.

This couldn't be Faith. Not the cocky, confident, over-zealous Faith that had been something of a friend to her. Perhaps the others were going to pretend they never liked her at all, maybe they denied that Faith had actually been a help to them more than they'd admit, but Dawn remembered. Dawn remembered more than they, how Faith actually cared. About her. Looked after her, didn't treat her like a baby, actually hung out with her when the others were at a meeting, where Faith should've been invited, but wasn't.

Oh Dawn certainly remembered.

"Faith?" She repeated, and Faith met her gaze.

And Faith smiled. The room brightened almost immediately. Strange how pretty her smile was, it was a genuine smile, one that they didn't have the privilege of seeing all that often. Either they weren't looking, or she just didn't smile for real all that much back then. It was probably both.

"You." She said, tilting her head almost humorously. Eyes squinching up in curious thought.

"I remember you." She paused. She looked almost, hesitant.

"Yea...I remember you, too, Faith. How've you been?" Dawn asked cautiously, edging closer and closer.

Faith cringed a little, fingers fidgeting as they closed into fists at her side and opened again. But she chuckled nervously, eyes flitting back and forth, licking her full lips. Was it weird that Faith could make that seem so sexual, even in a hospital gown, afraid for her life and an amnesiac no less? It probably was pretty weird, but they didn't notice all too much. Spike, however, was impressed.

"Been alright." Well there it was, the beginnings of the walls climbing back up; a sure characteristic of Faith's showing itself to them.

"Well that's of the good, right? I mean, as good as it's gonna get right now, considering the circumstances and everything..." Willow had burst out into a nervous babble, but stopped when she saw Faith, who was pressed against the wall so hard, it crumbled slightly to her will. She was paler than anyone had ever remembered her, and she looked as though she was trying to be invisible; staying so still as if maybe they wouldn't see her if she just didn't move. The seconds slipped by like hours, and nobody was sure what would happen next.

"Perhaps, Angel, we should erm...leave Faith to rest? This must be all too much for her to handle at the moment." Giles glanced pointedly at Faith, who was staring at the tile as if she was expecting it to break open from underneath her and swallow her whole.

"That's probably for the best. Just, this way. Cordy, will you help her...?" Angel nodded towards the girl, and Cordelia immediately reached for her protectively.

"Come on, Faith. Let's get you back on the bed. I'll go get the nurse and we can hook all the gadgets and things in." She spoke with the tone of someone who might be talking to an animal who was cornered.

The others were filing out the door in somber silence, but when Buffy took a quick glance back at Faith, she watched as the taller brunette hold out a hand to **help**...

...and saw Faith take it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for the reviews. I realize that Cordelia is kind of harsh, but surely you can understand why.  
**

**Enjoy and please review.**

* * *

"Well. That was interesting." Anya stated matter-of-factly, as they gathered around in the lobby area right outside.

"She doesn't **remember** anything! She's not **supposed** to remember enough to be scared!" Xander flailed his arms about, still somewhat freaking out about it.

Buffy wanted to assure him that she was thinking the same thing.

Giles shook his head thoughtfully, adjusting his glasses; a sure sign that they are about to be taken off to be cleansed somewhat soon.

"That's not necessarily true, Xander. Something in her recognizes people through vision. The brain connects emotion and personal feelings with certain images, and clearly-"

"We're her worst nightmare." They way Buffy said it made it sound like something very rude. Mostly because Buffy was in a state of conflicted emotions, and she wasn't sure if she should be crying or pissed off.

Of course, she went with what she felt was stronger and remained pissed.

They all saw the warning signs. Her flashing eyes, the tense stance she was in, the way her hands were tight and ready to reflex into even tighter fists, and especially the way her jaw muscles slightly quivered the way they did right before she ground her teeth to oblivion. And they all knew better than to provoke her, but everyone felt a bit jittery and somewhat afraid of the cluelessness they were stuck in like they are nearly every month or so. But the issue here was that this wasn't just some monster or evil they could research and set out to destroy, this was Faith. Not even a year ago the Scooby gang would've just as easily and readily had no problem in taking her out - if they could - but now...

Now she was supposed to be **good**.

Granted, they were taking Angel's word for it. And Cordelia's and even Wesley, who had endured a horrific torture given by the girl herself, agreed that Faith had been exceptionally well-behaved up until the end; if you could call this an end.

"S-she's s-s-scared." Tara said meekly.

"We **know** that!" Xander shouted, still flailing. He wasn't quite yelling at her, but what difference did it make when he was projecting his frustration onto her?

Willow immediately stepped up subconsciously in an act of protection; Tara was **her** girl, and not to be shouted at.

"You hardly gave her the time to talk, Xander, much less finish! And-and **don't** you yell at her!"

He sighed, flushing apologetically, bringing his hands down to his side with a bit of a flop.

"Sorry, Tara. Wills. I'm just-"

"Freaking out? For once we're all on the same page." Cordelia stepped from Faith's room, brows furrowed into a concern that none of the Scoobies had ever seen on her before. She turned to Angel.

"She's flipping. Big time."

He frowned, his dark expression darkening with the worry that weighed heavily on his broad shoulders.

"Did she say anything? About why...?" He trailed off, the question already understood by the room's mostly fretful occupants.

"Nothing. Didn't say a word except to say thanks. I mean, come on! Give a girlfriend a clue here, right? Ugh!" She threw up her hands, shaking her head as she continued to rant to Angel, ignoring the fact that the others were watching her.

"She might not remember who she is, but she sure remembers how to do that stone wall bit! I just don't know how we're gonna help her, if she doesn't trust **us**."

And by 'us', she meant Angel. She meant herself.

But she certainly didn't mean **them**. The way she glanced over with a strange tint of anger in her eyes, the scorn and the irritation that wasn't just a reflection of the popular High School Queen they once knew. No, this was something different, something more mature, something less selfish and much more worldly than they could ever imagine Cordelia Chase being capable of.

"Or them." She nodded towards them, driving home the point.

In turn, they made it a point to scowl at her. Or attempt a half-scowl.

Except for Anya.

And Spike.

And Tara.

"So she's scared." Spike stated calmly, wanting to get on with it.

"I believe we've gotten that." Giles replied just as steadily, though the pursed lips proved his personal dislike of Spike's presence. The dislike that ran readily through most of their minds.

Anya had her arms crossed, and opened her mouth to clarify.

"Well, she's not really just scared. Mostly she's-"

"Terrified of **you**." Tara's voice came through strong and clear as she gazed directly at Buffy. Her beautiful blue eyes piercing into Buffy's hazel ones, as if to say that she knew a lot more than she seemed.

"Me?"

"I can see how that'd make sense." Willow bit her lip thoughtfully, holding tightly to Tara's hand.

"Yea, that's right! Because you...and her...with the fighting and stuff." Xander said a bit excitedly, hands moving up and about again.

"But all of us were a part of that. Why would Faith be so singularly **scared** of me? Pissed off, maybe, but not scared." Buffy counter-argued sensibly,

"T-there's s-s-something not qui-quite right w-with her a-aura. S-something's aff-affecting the b-balance." Tara spoke again, stutter back in place.

"Like that time when you sensed something wasn't right when the bodyswap happened?" Willow asked her lover gently.

"Hey! So does that mean Faith's not actually Faith? Cause that would be really gre..." Xander trailed off as he got the disapproving glances.

"N-no. The p-problem is that h-her aura seems fr-fractured and unusually d-dark."

"Well, Faith is all about the cleavage-y, five by five darkness, isn't she? With the dark and bad ass-iness, and with the kill-happiness. I mean, she's basically just all around-"

"What?" Cordelia's voice cut through Willow's nervous speech. It was cold, and it was hard. Her eyes pierced through each of theirs, as if telling them that one wrong word could send her off the edge. She couldn't stand it, the way they were so whipped by the fact that Faith had made some horrible choices. Cordelia could understand, to a point, but her main issue here was that her **friend** was going through something terribly wrong, and if they couldn't put the past behind them until after Faith got better, she was going to have a fit.

Willow flushed into a deep red and her hands began to wring. She'd always had Cordelia sting her with stupid high school comments, but never with such intensity. It was unnerving and while she licked her dry lips she thought to herself how lucky she'd been to never have had Cordelia's rage directed towards her during high school.

"I...I just meant-"

"She's basically all around **what**, Willow? Tell me, please, I'd be glad to hear what you have to say, since you're a clear expert on who Faith is. Go ahead, we're all listening."

"Cordy, I-"

"No excuses, Wills, what is she, 'basically all around'? What? Dark? Bad? **Evil**?"

"You need to stop shooting off about things you don't understand." Buffy charged in, headfirst, stepping in to defend her best friend. Willow glanced at her appreciatively, flushing face scrunched up almost as though she might burst out into tears or tear someone's head off.

"Yea. You don't have the right to talk to Willow like that, Cordy." Xander also put in his two-cents worth, his first shock being replaced by his deep loyalty to his friends.

Cordelia's face twisted up into a frighteningly calm smile.

"Oh this is priceless, Xander's actually manning up. What a difference since the good old days. But I don't see much more after that; tell me, Xander, do you still let Buffy dangle your balls in front of you and make you beg for it?" Cordelia was just getting started, her stress, her anger, her overall frustration getting the best of her. She ignored the disbelieving looks, the sturdy hand on her shoulder that was trying to calm her, the fact that Faith was in the room adjacent to theirs...

Cordelia Chase was pissed the fuck off, and there was no way in hell anybody could stop it.

"Hey now, it looks like the bloody bitch is out to play." Spike commented dryly.

"I might be a bitch, but at least I'm not some lovesick, soulless sack of shit with fangs. You don't think it's clear, the way you look at her? It might hurt a little to know that the vampire tragic love story's already been done before, but you can always make it your own; I'm sure she'll end up **fucking** you for the hell of it anyway."

Spike, for the first time in decades, faltered, the look on his face was priceless.

But then again, so was the slap administered across Cordelia's face by particular blonde. It felled her easily, but the brunette sat up quickly, holding a slender hand to her bloody lip before standing up to face the fuming Slayer. For some reason, this was just too funny, and she let out a grim smile.

"Into hurting people now, Buffy?"

"Well I thought since you're such a fan of Slayers that **enjoy** maiming and killing people, I'd start somewhere." Buffy's sarcasm wouldn't be missed from anywhere on the planet, and certainly Cordelia hadn't missed it being slathered on thick for her listening pleasure.

"Of course; your fans always did like placing **all **the fucking blame on someone else. Makes it easier for you to do the same, doesn't it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking ab-"

Angel grabbed her arm and dragged her away, not enough for them to listen, but loud enough for them to hear the angry murmurs.

"We need to talk." He started.

"Yes. Yes we do."

Angel could understand. He even related with her anger, but as wise and as old as he was, he knew better. The tension was too high, and there was no way in the world they were going to help Faith by snapping at each other. He could see the argument on both sides. The Scoobies were having a difficult time **wanting** to help a girl who had assisted in nearly destroying their whole town and not only that, a girl who had single-handedly nearly killed them. Even himself. To them, she was a threat to the world, and they didn't know what she would be like if the memory came back.

But the thing was; Faith wasn't that person anymore. And from **his** perspective, and Cordelia's perspective, she was an injured child lashing out at the world for hurting her. For abandoning her. But most of the time it was hard to see past the fiery eyes and that cold, cold smile, and the strangely sexual voice that spoke words to gain a reaction. So he knew. He could understand why they would not trust her. Hate her, even. At first, even Angel was sure she had to be taken out, when she'd arrived at L.A. Faith was hard to decipher, but when he finally figured it out, he admonished himself for not seeing it before.

**He** knew. Cordelia knew. Wesley knew. That Faith was alright now. Or she would've been, had she not been in this situation. She had been doing well, meditating, reflecting on and regretting her choices in the past. Angel even knew that Faith had been working on her letters. She'd been going to classes, and one of her assignments was to write down a list of people she was sorry for hurting, and to write them. There was no reason to send them, since they were mostly an exercise to help someone realize that they were wrong, but Faith told him during one of his visits that she secretly wanted to send them, just to feel like she did do **one** thing right. He'd assured her that turning herself in and staying in jail had been another thing she'd done right. She shook her head, laughed, and told him that it wasn't a right choice; she **had** to do it, for the sake of everyone else. There was no right or wrong about it.

But one thing that only he knew then, was that when Faith had turned herself in, there was a deeper reason than just salvation. Faith had her dignity stripped from her by the only person who could. She had been terrified of the cops, but she forced herself to turn herself in. Why? He knew it the second he saw her face in the police department. He saw it in her face. Something that had been always there, but he had been a fool to miss it. There was **love**. The strained, the cracked, the broken love.

He never told anyone else, and never brought it up when he visited, but one day, after Cordelia came home from a visit, he could see it in her eyes that she finally saw it too. And it did not make her sad, like he felt. It made her angry. He understood. It was hard to watch a friend - and yes, Faith was their friend - crumble apart in front of their eyes, and know that a large part of that raging inferno of pain was because of her love. The love that had been scorned.

"Cordy, **what** in the world is wrong with you?"

"What is wrong with **me**? Angel, did you see the way they looked at her? The way they treated her?"

Angel's lips were tight and his face expressed something like pain.

"I saw. But how is that different from the way you first treated her after graduation? The way I treated her?"

"I-"

"Didn't we treat her just as badly back in Sunnydale?"

Cordelia flushed in both anger and embarrassment. She brushed a strand of hair from her face before speaking.

"Well, yea, but-"

"Then give them a chance. It's hard for them, Cordy. They don't know her anymore, so they keep thinking she's still the Faith they used to know."

"I can't stand it, Angel. She doesn't deserve this." And she began to tremble; she was on the verge of tears. It wasn't like she could help it.

"No, she doesn't. That's why we have to try to work this out. For Faith."

She nodded, pulling herself back together and back into the Cordelia they all either loved or hated. She seemed to grow, as her confidence returned and the bout of negativity dissipated into the air. That bit of release was enough to keep her going for a little while longer, to keep her stable. In the back of her head she figured it was what kept all of them going. To be able to let go once in a while. To let it all out. But Faith had never been able to show anything other than her cool recklessness. Other than Angel and Wesley - merely by chance - nobody had ever seen her cry, and only Angel could understand just how far the girl had fallen.

They both were about to rejoin the group when everybody felt another presence at the door.


	7. Chapter 7

**First, I couldn't help but get a kick out of the total amount of review I had after the last chapter: 69. **

**Second, enjoy and review this chapter please.**

* * *

They turned, and they saw her, standing there, face comprised of something close to shock and anger. Confusion, and most definitely terror.

"Faith?" Angel voiced his concern through one word.

Her name.

"I was in jail." She replied, eyes not quite focusing on any of them, almost looking up at the ceiling as if she was speaking to herself, trying to assure that yes indeed, what she was speaking was the truth.

Silence.

Something Xander Harris couldn't stand much of. His nervousness forced him to say something

"Yep. You, Faith, in jail, with the bars of steel and stuff." He shut his mouth when the others shot him a quick glance to quiet down.

"I hurt people." She said softly.

They wondered if she remembered, but most likely she was only repeating what had been said. They felt a bit foolish; they should've known she could hear them. She still had her Slayer senses.

"I **killed** people." She stared down at her hands, almost as if to inspect them. They were nice hands; smooth yet calloused, petite but strong, pale but fair. Could she see that they were the hands of a killer? And then the Scoobies had to wonder; **were** they the hands of a killer?

Then her eyes went up to meet Angel's, as if begging for a rebuttal. Something to tell her that it was for something else. Theft, a gang fight, drug abuse...**anything** else.

"Yes." He replied cautiously, trying to tell her with his eyes that she was still his friend, someone he cared about, that what she did was in the past...

They couldn't tell what Faith was thinking.

Not that they ever could anyway, but a lot less than they did not even an half and hour ago. It was like watching someone die in front of them. The confusion and everything else sucked away, leaving only her stony eyes, her soft almost kind lips losing it's kindness, losing it's softness, her face, a little pink with the flush of action and emotion when she awoke, disappearing into the pale flesh.

But when Buffy glanced at Tara, who was studying Faith closely, she saw the other blonde bite on her lips and her brows furrow in deep concern. Her eyes shifted back to Faith, who was boring holes into a spot on the wall behind them. Buffy couldn't help but see the way the incredibly thinned-down brunette seemed to sway, as if she might collapse any moment. Her Slayer healing had been doing its work, but it was not a miracle worker, it just sped up the process. The blonde Slayer wondered briefly if she should reach out to keep her from falling. Angel also noticed, and he stepped forward, keeping his voice gentle, wanting to steady her with a sturdy hand.

"Faith-"

"How many?" Her eyes met his again, now sparking with an intensity they recognized distinctly. She took a step closer, nearly stumbling, but managing to stay up. Her hands were back down at her sides, trembling as they clenched into tight fists.

"How many did I kill?"

"Faith, it's all in the past-"

"Just tell me." It wasn't a scream, or a shout. But you could hear the thunder before the storm, ready to break out into an all out vicious hurricane.

"Two." Buffy cut in as softly, partially wanting to stare down at the ground when Faith turned to look at her, but she knew that treating her like an frightened animal would probably push her over the edge. Faith wasn't stupid; she was a Slayer. She knew all the tricks. Or at least, she should know all of them. Most of them came by instinct.

So Buffy caught her gaze firmly.

She saw the brief flicker of fear and something else before the clouds shrouded them again.

"Why did I do it?" The calmness frightened them a hell of a lot more than the anger Faith used to intimidate them with did. This just made it so much creepier.

Of course, Xander's fear, Willow's jealousy, and Buffy's jaded anger would do nothing to help. And as they told themselves they had to watch it, they just couldn't. Faith had been on their shitlist for longer than they'd even knew she was playing them false, several of them the wrong reasons, but it was there. It was ready to barge forth, now that she couldn't do anything in return.

"Why?" Buffy nearly spat it, the red-hot that came with the idea of Faith and what she'd done flashing in front of her eyes, her fists also forming at her sides, but lifting up slightly as though she might actually come out and deck the girl right in the face.

"That's actually a really good question, Faith. You know, we've always wondered the same thing..." Willow came in with a obviously falsely cheery voice, smiling as her eyes shot daggers at the brunette before them all. Who fucking cared if she looked worse for the wear and was in a hospital gown? She had gone off the deep end; and nearly took Buffy with her. And **that** was not acceptable.

"But we came to the conclusion that you're just a knife-happy psychopath." Xander ended it for them all, normally comical eyes hardening with his growth from boy to man, his heart angry with her and her quick steal of his innocence.

They expected one of either two things to happen:

One, they were mostly ready for her to be frightened again. To be scared and pushing back up against the wall again. There was something unusually satisfying for them to see Faith so helpless. They didn't notice it before through the shock and first impression pity. But now that their brains had been able to absorb the fact that this **was** Faith, it was easy to feel nothing other than hate for her. It was easy to want her to feel fear at seeing them again.

Two, on the offchance that she was too angry to be scared, they tensed in case she decided to lunge and kill them all on the spot. It was a subconscious reaction to potential danger.

What **did** happen, however, just surprised them.

They did not expect Giles to shake his head in disapproval.

They did not expect Anya to look away with a snort of disgust.

They did not expect Dawn to glare with condescendment.

They did not expect Cordelia to be so shocked.

They did not expect Tara to quickly drop Willow's hand, as though it burned.

They did not expect Angel's face to twist into such anger.

They did not expect Faith to actually collapse.

And they certainly did not expect Spike to be the one to catch her.

* * *

"S'alright, pet, I've got you." He murmured, hoisting her up as her legs seemed to refuse to work. It was easy enough, she weighed very little, looking nearly emaciated.

"Let me go." She said. There was no malice behind the words, it was almost like she was politely asking him.

He glanced down at her in surprise, as she stared at her unresponsive feet, as if she expected them to work in any minute now.

"Let me go, please."

Oh, there was the politeness.

"I'm not going to bloody let you fall down!" He retorted loudly, continuing to support her. She began to pull away, trying to throw him off, struggling to get away.

"Get the fuck off me!" She pulled herself away, and managed, with her Slayer strength, also knocked him over as well as she grabbed for the doorway.

Spike cursed as he stood back up, brushing himself off.

"I...I'm sorry...I didn't...I didn't mean..."

"Didn't mean to what, knock him over?" Buffy asked coldly, forgetting for a moment that Faith had no idea she was a Slayer.

"Spike, are you okay?"

He didn't spare her a glance as he looked on with concern.

"You should stop worrying about the ones that don't need help."

"Yea, Buffy, maybe you should stop being a bitch over an **accident**. Over something she **didn't** **know** about." Came Cordelia's voice, sharp now after her initial shock. Her eyes bore into Buffy's, one of the only two people who had been present at another accident. One that had ended in death. And jumpstarted a betrayal that they couldn't forget.

Buffy caught the meaning in the taller brunette's eyes, seeing the goad, seeing the blame lying just for her.

"It might've been an accident, but it still hurt people. Buffy's job is to stop it." Willow jumped in to defend her best friend.

Cordelia couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"It's my job too, little miss obvious, but it's also our job to save people, not condemn them. God, you guys are dense."

"Don't defend me, Cordy." Faith was about to fall any second now, but her unwavering gaze kept them at bay. At least, the ones who wanted to help her.

"I killed two people. How can you defend me?" Her voice shook with the emotion of someone who didn't realize they'd blood on their hands until they woke up, which was essentially where she was now.

"One of them was an accident, Faith." It struck Angel that all the work he had done with Faith, all the progress they had made before the hospitalization...

Boom. Gone. Back to square zero.

It made him feel unbelievably weary.

"And how the fuck do you know that, Angel? Were you there? I killed them, whoever they were, I killed them, with these **fucking** hands..." She looked like she was near hysteria, her knuckles were white, gripping the steel so tight, it literally bent into the shape of her fingers.

Giles thanked the Powers she didn't notice.

"Faith, it was a complete accident, you didn't know that he wasn't a..." Cordelia trailed off, stopping herself before she could even begin.

"You thought the bloody sod was going to hurt you." Spike saved the day.

"You saying it was self-defense?" The tone of her voice should've been red flag enough, but they didn't catch it.

"Yes." Angel shot Spike a grateful look, something nobody ever imagined could happen. Spike just nodded in return.

"So why, on my record, does it say murder two, 25 to life?" They never could imagine anybody else having so cold a voice.

Angel cursed himself for not realizing that the files were hanging off the end of the bed with a clipboard. She must've read through it all, and the conversation they'd all participated in had just confirmed it.

"Faith-"

"You say I killed two men. And the records say it was murder. Mindless, senseless fucking murder. Two men, with no families, for no reason."

"You panicked, Faith. You took the body-"

"Weighted it and dumped it in the river. I read it. And the second guy, I just left him in his own miserable fucking blood. And I took nothing. Just killed him. Maybe your buddy's right." She looked straight at Xander, who visibly flinched at the strength behind her gaze.

"I **am** a fucking psycho."

"No." It was Anya who spoke this time, as rationally as she normally spoke, picking at her nails as she did.

"You clearly aren't and weren't psychotic. You were simply doing your job."

Faith almost looked horrified, but she looked a little more confused than so.

"I killed people as a **job**?!"

"No, you just had a powerful boss. I can relate."

"What, you kill people, too?" Faith asked sarcastically.

"Thousands, but I specialized in vengeful torture." Anya replied without missing a beat.

Faith couldn't stop the disbelieving laugh that tore from her aching throat. She did not know these people. Not really. Perhaps in a different life, a different time, not even two days ago. But for now, everything was different. Everything had changed in her life, and for some very obvious reasons, she could not help but believe that the change had all been for the bad. There was nobody that she knew, and the worst part was that she did not know who she was. Her only sources these people who either supporters or haters, people who weren't even family. She could feel the anger bubbling from deep inside and something in her mind recognized it.

And it felt so good.

It crashed over, drowning the confusion, the emptiness, and more importantly, drowning the fear.

"You know, they don't have a lot to say about me, but the police files sure make a fuckload more sense than your **bullshit** story." She moved to go back in, feeling more steady on her feet, but before she slammed the door in their face, she turned around.

"Where are my parents?"

Silence.

Of course they weren't in the records. There were no files on her before Sunnydale. The only reason they had her name and date of birth was because she gave it to the cops when she turned herself in. So she couldn't have read it. It wasn't there to read.

Buffy glanced at Angel, who glanced right back at her, both hoping the other had some sort of information. Both being the only two who had ever gotten close enough to Faith without being burned for a little while...

The anger in her eyes spazzed between the sudden confusion. Then it was back to anger.

"Well? I'm still human, I have parents."

Silence.

"...right?" The hysteria beneath it all made her voice crack slightly, and Angel moved quickly to hold onto her.

"Faith..."

She laughed nervously, almost as if this was just a big joke. She looked up into his eyes, begging for him to answer the simple question.

"Angel, come on, stop fucking with me. Where the fuck is my family?"

What could he say?

"I...we don't know, Faith."

We don't know, Faith.

Nobody knows, Faith.

Who the fuck are you, Faith?

Answer me, Faith!

And the reality of it all struck her hard, made her hurt, made it tougher for her to breathe. They didn't know, the files didn't know, **she** didn't know...When she woke up, there was nothing waiting for her. Nothing except blood on her hands, fear of these people, and the hate of perfect strangers. Sure, Faith had no idea who anybody was, she didn't know where she was, she didn't know much about anything at the moment, and even worse, she had no fucking idea about who in the hell she was, but that wasn't the problem anymore. The inlying problem of everything she was feeling was this:

**Nobody** really knew who she was.


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow. So the reactions to the last chapter were pretty all over the spectrum. I'm glad - as a writer - that I was able to provoke those emotions. Thank you all for your comments, please keep them coming, and here's this chapter. Maybe it'll open eyes as to what Buffy's feeling.  
**

**Enjoy and review!**

* * *

"Lailo!" Anya exclaimed suddenly.

Everybody turned to stare at her.

"Lie low? That's your best suggestion?" Buffy asked, half incredulous and half confused.

"No, you dimwit. It's pronounced lah-eel-low, and she's an old...co-worker of mine."

Buffy had to excuse the insult, biting back her own retort, she just scowled and continued her questioning.

"As in a demon?"

"Well of course. Obviously I don't mean a co-worker at the Magic Box, because then that would be Giles."

"Go on." Angel looked on intently.

They were at the Angel Investigations meeting room, all sat around the table and discussing ideas as to helping Faith recover her memory, and then figure out what the hell was the deal with her fractured aura, whatever that meant. Back at the hospital, Faith had fallen into something similar to a seizure, though they weren't at all sure if she was truly conscious or if it was a medical attack. Angel forced her down onto the cot while the nurse quickly injected the morphine. It was a good thing she was still weak, otherwise the damages might've been worse. They'd been invited to come back with the Angel Investigations team and to stay there for however long was necessary.

As soon as they'd gotten back, there were squabbles and disgruntled looks and insults thrown across the lobby area, when Angel immediately solved the issue by forcing all of them to get settled, eat and rest, then convene in the meeting room. It was hard to believe that it had only been noon.

Now it was nearing dinner time, and nothing had been accomplished. So listening to Anya's suggestion about another demon was more of a relief than a pain. Perhaps this would work.

"Lailo is another vengeance demon, but instead of granting vengeful wishes like I did, she acts more as a parasite and enters her host's being and releases the vengeance through them."

"What?" Xander stared at his girlfriend, puzzled.

Anya sighed with impatience.

"She suppresses the moral ethics that control the urges to fulfill vengeance. Which means the vengeful side of the host will come forth and they'll do whatever they wish to whomever they want revenge against."

"And how is that supposed to help us?" Buffy asked just as impatiently, perhaps with a little more frustration. Nobody could blame her, they weren't quite getting it any more than she was.

"First of all, I wasn't finished, and I find it very rude of you to interrupt me. Second of all, what Lailo does helps recall memories and often brings out the truth in a person."

Again with the insults. Only Anya would be capable of doing so without any concern as to whether or not Buffy's feelings would be hurt. She was kind of charming that way.

"Not to be an idea pooper here, but I really don't think we want to remind Faith that she wants all of us dead."

Cordelia let her hands - which were holding up her head - fall down and hit the table, exasperated.

"How many times, Buffy, do we have to remind you that Faith is **good** now? As in no more killing?"

Willow should've known better. She knew that. She also knew that it was a bad idea to speak when she did, but she did it anyway.

"But Cordy, we don't even know if you're right or not. I-I mean, we haven't ever seen her since, you know, the Big House thing, and we...we don't really know if she's as good as you claim she is..."

Xander raised his hand.

"I'm with Will on this one."

But Giles remained silent. He pondered, for a moment, the risks.

"Are you certain it would work, Anya?" Giles was very serious, and he ignored his original Scooby team as they gawked at him.

He couldn't be serious, could he? He wouldn't think about doing such a thing? Think of how dangerous it could be, bringing a vengeance demon in to restore Faith's memories! And who was to say that Faith was good anyhow? The demon might just bring out Faith's darkness; then what? Wouldn't it be easier just to be efficient than to continue beating on a dead horse?

"It's n-not beating a d-dead horse." Tara's calm spoke for the first time in hours. She had spent time just watching. Listening. Observing. And thinking.

"S-she's good. I can s-see it in-inside her. I-I d-don't think sh-she's ever been e-evil."

"Sweetie, of course she's been evil! She's probably the most evil of the evils we've ever had to deal with! I mean, of course, you might not have been there to witness all the evilness she's ever been, but Faith is definitely of the evil type."

"Again, I'm with Will."

Buffy remained silent along with Giles this time.

Sure, she disliked Faith. Hated her, even. Everything about Faith made her insides twist and turn and it all just made her feel weird. All the things that the girl had done, the way she double crossed them, the way she did it without a hint of regret in her voice, the oozing confidence, the blunt and honest truths that were spit and meant to hurt, the way that smile sent shivers down her back. It was evil, right? Buffy agreed with it, right? The way she hurt them all, the way she hurt **her**, the way she seemed to be hurting the most?

Buffy shook her head.

_Well, think about it._

Something prodded at her. Think about the way all of them got out alive, the way she never truly went after **her**, the way she never went after anyone unless they'd confronted her first except for Angel and Joyce and Wesley, the way Angel and Joyce and Wesley had seen something in Faith, something that Buffy and the others just couldn't see. What had they seen? What had they felt? Angel unhesitatingly vouched for Faith. Immediately, without a doubt, without a trace of it. Joyce had often wondered aloud why Faith was the way she was, that something must've happened, but their only explanation was that Faith was crazy; they couldn't find the time to find out, and even when they could've, they hadn't.

Wait a minute, that just made them sound so selfish!

So uncaring.

But that's not them, was it?

And then there was Wesley, who had been tortured horribly, but he saw something. Felt something. He was an absolute idiot, no doubt, the way he handled the situation in Sunnydale, so somehow that justified it? No way, no way! He said it didn't. She shouldn't have done it, but he shouldn't have done what he'd done. He was sorry, she was sorry, and they'd both found it in them to forgive.

No no no, that just couldn't be right.

Faith was evil...right?

She betrayed them, used them, taunted them, ran from her responsibilities; and Buffy hated her for hurting her friends. It was hate, that feeling inside, bubbling. It was disgust that fueled her anger. It **was**...

_Think_.

Remembering.

That smile Dawn had made happen back at the hospital, in the room, that smile that was so pretty despite who its owner was, the one that had always been reserved only for Buffy on their Slayer nights out...

Always that strange - yet not unpleasant - feeling that tingled in her gut, the sudden shock of feeling whenever their hands had touched, the way Faith would glance at her after that feeling, as if she wondered if Buffy felt it too...

No no, it was rage and disgust and anger and pain and distaste and

Hate hate hate...

_Oh, is it really?_

"Buffy?"

She looked up, watching them watching her, expressions all showing concern, perhaps beside Cordelia and Anya.

"Huh?"

"What do you think?"

"About what?" Still a little dumb, still a little shaken by her thoughts, her sniggering, taunting thoughts. Sounding so much like

"Faith."

"I hate her!" Shouting it out like she had to say it to show that she meant it. As if voicing it out loud made it any more true than it really wasn't, wanting to cringe at the triumphant look on Willow's face and the look of surprise on Xander's.

Needing to backtrack?

Oh but she couldn't. Not now.

"This is such a fucking waste of time." Cordelia stood up, eyes shooting daggers.

"Why don't you three idiots just go on home? We'll send the ones who actually are good for something home in a limo later, after we save Faith." She was laying down a challenge. A gauntlet onto the roundtable, waiting for someone - no, **daring** someone to pick it up and fight back.

Go ahead, her stance said airily, I am not afraid of you.

"Cordelia, Angel, Wesley, could you...?"

Excuse us? Excuse them?

Giles gave the three a weary but pleading look. Angel and Wesley stood to join Cordelia, nodding respectfully, turning to leave. Cordelia continued to stand there, hands leaning against the table, body leaning against her hands. She met his gaze firmly, and with a simple flash of the 'I'll take care of it' look from him, she simply spun around and walked out in a dignified manner, the click of her heels against the floor reminding the others of a strange metronome rhythm towards a certain execution.

Click, click, click.

Slam.

Now the eyes turned from the words unspoken by the door to Giles, who was staring at an unknown spot on the table. Perhaps scrutinizing the grain of wood. Was it maple? Oak? Pine? It's not like **they** knew.

Then he got up without a sound and paced. They still watched.

Then he turned to face them, and there was particular tinge of anger that laced his voice, that showed glaringly in his eyes.

"I am disappointed."


	9. Chapter 9

**Yes, I realize it's been a little longer since I've updated than usual; things have been more lively around here. Anywho, thank you for your reviews, they are much appreciated and what I look forward to after each chapter. I realize the Scoobs are being...a bit aggravating, but they have their own personal and spoiled reasons, no? They'll come around eventually.  
**

**As a little note: In this particular fictional past, Tara DID die, but was brought back. And Willow DID get caught up and addicted to black magic, and caused a lot of trouble. It is referred to in this chapter. **

**Do enjoy and review! I shall update again soon.**

* * *

"You're disappointed?" Buffy was in disbelief again. How did that make any sense at all?

Willow agreed.

"Giles, this is hard for us! You can't just-just ask us to come in and help someone-"

"Why, isn't that what you're supposed to do?" Spike interrupted.

"You know, to help the bloody humans and all that?"

"Um yea! Help the **humans**! Faith, is way from the non-human section of our list of **bad **guys!" Xander squeaked.

"So what are you trying to say, Xander? I'm not quite human. Neither is Dawn. Or Spike, or Angel. I suppose we don't count, either?" Anya crossed her arms, giving him a look that clearly let them know she wasn't happy.

"No! No...I mean..." He trailed off helplessly.

And Buffy to the rescue, as always.

"It's completely different. Yes, Faith is human and we **do** help people, but Faith is also our enemy."

"And was Angel and Spike not once our enemy?"

It was a legitimate question. So legitimate, that in fact, it bothered them.

"Was not Anya, too, once against us?" Giles looked up from the floor, raising his solemn gaze to meet their surprised sets of eyes.

"Y-yea, but it's...it's completely different now!" Buffy shouted in half confusion and half anger.

"I mean, they're **good** now, Giles!"

"In all honesty? I still don't have enough 'soul' to be good." Spike mentioned airily, ignoring Buffy's look of impatience.

"The point is that you helped us even when you didn't need to. That makes you somewhat 'good'."

And of course, what was a good Scooby bit of drama without the two friends who had been there the whole ride?

"Yea! And-and Faith isn't exactly what I would call good, since, you know, what with the whole killing thing and-"

Spike stood up promptly to interrupt Willow's babble, slamming his hand against the table.

"Would you fuck off with the 'killing thing'? What in the fucking name of God does it have to do with saving someone who needs your bloody help?"

"Because she doesn't deserve it!" It slipped out of Willow's angry lips faster than a light switch could be turned on. And with all the anger - and jealousy - in her heart, she believed it. Faith didn't deserve their help. Not then, not now, not ever.

"Willow...!" It almost wasn't even her name. It was a gasp. Nearly a strangled sound that one might make when someone punches the air out of you. And who was it, other than Tara? Tara, who's eyes were brimming, hands were shaking, and her voice was clear yet so broken at the same time. And that look in her eyes...

Disappointed?

Shocked?

Disgusted?

What was it?

"She hurt us." Buffy's voice was firm. Solid. Final.

She hurt **us**.

_She hurt __**me**__._

Plural. Singular. What difference did it make?

All the world.

But Buffy brushed away the difference in her head. Now wasn't the time to worry about it. Or to even think about it. God knows what kinds of issues **that** might bring up.

"I can almost understand why." Spike snorted.

"Keep this up for another couple bloody minutes and I'll be strangling all of you by the necks with your own sodding intestines."

Giles had enough.

"You would deliberately turn away from helping someone, because it is Faith. It is alright to befriend a vampire or two - those who have murdered in cold blood - but we cannot spare a moment to help Faith. And to love a vampire, or perhaps a demon, is completely bloody **fine** because as long as it is not Faith, anything and everything can be forgiven and cared for? And perhaps it's perfectly dandy to forgive a friend who 'dabbled' here and there in black magic and risked chaos beyond anything in this world, but we cannot forgive Faith because what? Because she was never a friend to begin with? Because you do not love, or care, or worry about her? Because **you** do not even **want** to? Is this what I'm getting from a blasted group who claims to be heroic?"

They were shocked.

Spike and Anya both took the reference to themselves lightly. They understood that Giles was only making a point. Tara did not give a hell's worth that Giles had used Willow's mistakes against her; she also pondered the same exact thing. Dawn thought they deserved it all. Sure, they hardly looked to her for help during the meeting, but she had opinions, too. She agreed with his words and although she had always been angry at Faith for what she'd done...you couldn't stay angry at someone who was reduced to what Faith had been reduced to.

There was a moment of silence, when who else but the leader of the three originals spoke up in their defense.

"We **are** heroes, Giles. We've worked so hard-"

"And that gives **you** the right to bypass your judgement upon someone? If I recall correctly, you didn't allow Faith that right. What gives you that right? The fact that you are a Slayer, Buffy? Might I add that Faith is also a Slayer?"

"What is wrong with you, Giles? You totally understood where we were coming from not two days ago!"

His face contorted as he felt a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time; self-loathe.

"Something I am not proud of, Buffy. Do you think I enjoy realizing that I - as well as you - had probably done something to provoke Faith further into the dark when she was with us?" It was almost a cry.

"Giles-"

"Why did you three want to come, then? Why were **all** three of you so suddenly desperate to get here?"

Pause.

While the three glanced at each other and remembered the dreams. The dreams that they had lost a hold of once they saw Faith's face again. Their fear and hatred overruling the sorry. The goodbye.

"We...there were these dreams..."

Giles gave them all a knowing look.

"Dreams."

Buffy looked a little flustered.

"Well yea, we just...woke up and crashed into each other and we talked, and...each of us, we, had...a dream."

"About Faith?"

"Yea..."

"All three of you."

"Yes, Giles. All three of us."

"And you didn't think that perhaps if there was a dream for you three, there was also a dream for me?"

Oh.

**OH.**

Xander nearly jumped out of his seat in a sense of excitement.

"So **that's** why you weren't so shocked when we asked you to take us!"

Giles ignored the boyish excitement over a similarity and just sat back down, face in his hands. He felt overwhelmed. Yes, he felt like they had not too long ago. Yes, he had felt that this would've just been some sort of pity trip. Yes, he had, like the others, just pushed the dream far away from his mind because of his stand against Faith. But the minute he saw her, he couldn't. He remembered it too clearly, the tremendous amount of fear she held inside. All the pain that was obvious for anyone to have seen it, but **they** missed it. They had always missed it...

"Giles-"

"Do you remember her eyes?"

A silence hung.

"Her words of sorry, the gesture of endearment...her goodbye?" He nearly whispered it, afraid to admit that he had been touched, so shocked that he woke up in tears, just as they did that night. He turned to face them, new tears now glistening in his eyes behind the glasses he almost used as a wall.

"Do you remember that?" He asked, almost bitterly.

The looks on their faces answered him enough.

"So how can you truly tell me that letting her suffer like this will do any good?"

There was another silence. More silence.

As if they needed any more.

Giles sighed. So did Buffy.

"Fine. We can talk about Lilo or Lalo; whatever her name was."

Willow gave a tight little frown, and Xander did a slight throwing up of hands as if he were exasperated, frightened, or both.

"It really wasn't your choice. Apparently everybody thinks it's your decision, even when it really isn't." Anya stated casually, picking at a cuticle diligently, without much of a care in the world.

"Anyways, I guess we should get down to business, now that we've just handled that ridiculous waste of time."

They stared at her for a moment. Some out of incredulity, others out of amusement. Giles, for one, just cleared his throat and immediately switched back into Watcher mode. That was his area of expertise, after all. If he couldn't do it, who could?

"Alright, let's bring the others back in."


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey and here I am, back again to update you lovely readers on this fine...morning/night. **

**I didn't get as much reviews as I wanted for the last chapter, and I know who you suckers are; I get notified when you check it off for Fav Story or Story Alerts, you blighters. I'm just joking. **

**But I do appreciate the ones that review, gives me the warm tinglies inside. **

**Anywho, here it is, enjoy it and please review! That way I'll be motivated to write more and update faster. ;)  
**

* * *

"So you're sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Positive?"

"Positive."

"Absolutely, positively-"

"Willow, I'm **sure**!" Buffy finally exploded, stopping in the middle of her pace to throw her arms up in an act of uncertain panic. Was she really sure?

She knew better than God that she wasn't. But there really wasn't much of a choice left. Either they let Faith suffer and feel that burden on their shoulders for the rest of their miserable and probably short lives, or help her through this and risk the possibility that she might want to hurt them again. It was much harder than most would think, seeing that so many other things factored into the equation.

In Buffy's case, anyhow.

Willow just shrugged and raised her eyebrows.

"Well, you don't seem completely sure, is all, Buff."

Buffy paused. She knew she had to watch her words. To pick and choose carefully.

"It's...it's just a risky situation, Wills. We just don't know how it's going to turn out, and that's all I'm worried about."

Willow nodded cautiously. She was definitely not on board, but she supposed if Buffy was willing to do it, she might as well play best friend as she always did and support her decision. It just seemed wrong, but after her heated argument with Tara last night, she finally admitted that most of her hatred towards Faith was jealousy. It's not that she wanted to be hateful; no, that wasn't in her nature, but this wasn't just anyone. This was Faith. And with Faith, it was all or nothing, nothing or all.

They weren't quite sure which one was the better.

"So...we should go in, right?" The red-head asked timidly, while Buffy continued her pacing in front of the meeting room doors where everybody was most likely waiting for their appearance.

"Right." Buffy agreed absentmindedly, still pacing back and forth, not quite realizing that her best friend was fidgeting, trying to decide between pulling them both into the room or just staring at her anxious actions.

They might've been stuck there for several more minutes - perhaps even hours - if it hadn't been for Anya's abrupt opening of the door.

"I'm not quite sure that you understand the importance of time in this situation, since you seem so much more interested in wasting **our** time, Buffy. You too, Willow. I thought you two were supposed to be on top of this - not literally, of course - but look at you! What in the frickin' world do you think you're doing?" The peppy ex-demon scowled at them menacingly from the doorway.

Buffy scowled back, but she stopped her pacing and paused a few moments, as if her life depended on stepping into the room or not. As she did her own fidgeting, Anya sighed loudly and placed a fist on each side of her hips.

"Buffy, this really isn't going to kill you."

"Yea, until Lilo decides she wants to take over and Faith realizes her goal in life **is** to kill me."

"It's Lailo, and we'll deal with it if it happens. Well, **you'll** deal with it, but that's then and now's now. So hurry up and get in here." Anya huffed and walked right back inside.

Buffy gave Willow a look.

"Since when was Anya the sensible one?"

Willow shrugged.

"I think she's just glad she's not the only demon working with us anymore."

* * *

When they stepped in, they saw her.

Lailo, in all her demonic glory, looking oh-so-very human in features. She wore a white flowing dress, with white flowing hair, with whites for eyes and skin so pale it might as well be white. She was small and thin, and almost looked like an angel, despite the irony. She was smiling, lips closed, seeming ever the wiser and so gentle and frail that Buffy was afraid if she touched her she might break. Not only that, but she was beautiful, her skin looked as smooth and as soft as a baby's bottom, the shape of her face so regal and elegant, and her posture so inviting.

They couldn't help but stare.

"Y-you're Lailo?" Willow sputtered for the both of them. The others either shrugged or nodded, showing their own personal surprise at Lailo's seemingly **good** appearance.

"I am she." Her voice was like milk and honey, as melodic as a choir of angels. How in the world was **she** a demon?

"Yes, well, now that that's settled, shall we get down to business?" Giles was impatient.

"Okay, so operation save-Faith is on the go!" Xander exclaimed, rubbing his hands together with a nervous smile.

"Anyanka has told me about your plan and how I shall be a part of reviving this...Faith's, memory. I suppose you have figured out a way in which this could be made possible? I am a revealer of the truth in vengeance; this may not come through as planned."

Angel took over.

"We only need you to release her memories, not just her need for vengeance. In and out, that's your part in this." He said firmly, looking her straight in the eye, though it was really difficult to tell where exactly she was looking.

She seemed to ponder the request before responding.

"In and out."

"Well, not like when you're waiting for an orgasm, but when-"

"I understand what Angelus was saying, Anyanka."

Angel cleared his throat.

"It's Angel, actually."

"Mmm. I'm sure."

Silence.

"What will I receive in return for this...favor?"

Anya rolled her eyes and huffed again.

"200 dollars more than I'll ever get for all the favors I-"

"Angel Investigations will be supplying you with the cash upfront as soon as you finish the job. Non-negotiable." Cordelia jumped in, looking ever much the authoritative business woman.

Lailo let out a laugh that sounded like the jingle of bells.

"Your bluff to save money is much more amusing than the request itself. However, I'll accept; it's not like I have many interesting subjects on the lineup anyhow."

So simple. So easily accepted.

Maybe Anya was right; money does solve everything!

"And you're a demon? Geesh, there should be more like you in the world. Maybe we could just pay off all of them and be done with it." Cordelia let out a disbelieving snort.

Lailo just smiled and gave a small shrug. Even that seemed like a holy action when she did it.

"I-I have s-something to s-say." Tara's meek voice spoke through the tension, and all eyes turned to her.

Giles understood immediately.

"Ah yes. The aura."

"The aura?"

"Lailo, Tara is a powerful Wicca, one who can read auras. It seems that in our last encounter with Faith at the hospital, Tara discovered a fracture in Faith's aura."

Lailo's expression for the first time deepened into a frown.

"You should all know as well as I that a fractured aura can mean many things, none good."

"Which is why we need you to help us figure out what it is." Angel replied seriously, jaw set unbudgingly.

And there was Lailo, matching it down to the quirk in the lips.

"I'm sure I will have no problem finding it."

Pause.

"Wait, before this goes down, I have to make sure of a few things." Buffy stepped forward, eyebrows furrowed in suspicion. With good reason.

"Ask away."

"First of all, how do we know you're telling the truth?"

Anya's reply was immediate, as though she was expecting the question in the first place.

"Lailo's powers are bound by truth. No matter what we ask, she will always be honest."

"Okay, then Lailo, can we trust you?"

Lailo smiled calmly, almost condescendingly, that it made Buffy want to puke.

"One can never fully trust a demon, but I believe your true question is to find out if I am going to use your friend's predicament to my advantage to do my job."

"One, she's not our friend-"

"No guesses why." Cordelia muttered.

"-and two, yes, what you said."

"I cannot be certain of it until I get a taste of who she may be."

It was too vague for Giles to accept. He sat up and leaned forward.

"Well, what will determine-"

"Her heart and the amount of pain it had to endure."

And that was the truth.

But what good was the truth, if none of them really knew where exactly Faith's stand was? If none of them could ever grasp just how much pain and suffering she had to deal with by the hands of how many people, how many times, how cruel the moments? Could they risk it? Would they? Should they? Was saving Faith even worth the risk of not saving her or themselves?

Well, they were here, weren't they?

Buffy stood up and stuck out her hand stiffly.

"Agreed."

Her eyes bore into the whites of Lailo's, as if she might be able to intimidate the demon into only doing her part. Lailo only smiled softly, holding out her petite hand, receiving Buffy's in her own.

"Take me to her."


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm feeling too lazy for the pre-chapter notes, so...**

**Danke for the reviews. Keep them coming! Enjoy.**

* * *

They stood outside, all pausing a moment to stare in through the window at the frail girl in the hospital bed, sleeping with a distressed expression on her beautiful face.

"She is so young." Lailo murmured, loud enough for them all to hear it.

"And so beautiful."

Buffy couldn't explain the sudden resentment she felt at the statement. Or the scowl that appeared on her face. Or the embarrassment she felt when she saw Cordelia smirk at her reaction.

"Young, beautiful, and psychotic. Such a catch." Willow declared sarcastically, missing the moment.

Lailo turned to bare her teeth at the Wiccan, showing them the sharp canines that protruded from beneath her lips like those of a vampire, though her face did not change into disfigurement. Her white eyes seemed to flash into a red for a split second as she growled.

"You would do well to watch your mouth, witch." She spat disgustedly.

"Hey, back off." Buffy stepped immediately between them, then watching in surprise as Lailo's countenance suddenly returned to the former angelic one.

"Perhaps you should ask your posse to do the same, Slayer." The demon spoke softly, before following Angel and Giles into the room.

"Great! We just asked a psycho to help us with the other psycho! Donuts, anyone?" Xander squeaked, exaggerating his nervousness with a forced twitch to his left eye.

"Oh stop it, Xander. If Willow here had stopped talking before she could think, that wouldn't have happened." Anya glared pointedly at Willow

"I resent that, and you shouldn't be on Faith's side, anyway." Willow retorted.

"Well she scares the piss out of you, so that's already reason enough to like her." Cordelia remarked snidely, casually leaning up against the wall and crossing her arms defensively.

"Would it kill you to be nice?" Buffy let out an exasperated sigh.

"Yes, and I'd like to stay alive for as long as I'm beautiful."

Buffy turned to Xander.

"I can't believe you dated her."

Xander smiled widely and shrugged.

"Hey, well, that's one thing we have in common!"

"Hardy har, what's the other thing; neither of you can find a good hair stylist?" Cordelia responded flippantly as she turned to glance inwards at the spectacle.

"D-do you th-think it'll be o-okay?" Tara asked softly as she walked up beside the tall brunette, gazing inward with her concerned blue eyes.

Cordelia didn't face the blonde, not wanting for a second to look away from what her friend might be enduring, but the tears threatening to fall and the break of her voice spoke volumes.

"It **has** to be okay. **She** has to be." She whispered, voice cracking like she couldn't handle the pressure, face unchanging, but the slight flush to her face revealing the possible waterworks.

Buffy swallowed her pride and placed a gentle hand on Cordelia's shoulder, and nearly sighed in relief when the high school queen didn't jerk away or turn around to slap her across the face.

"She'll be fine. Faith always manages to get out of the bad." Buffy needed to believe the words as much as Cordelia needed to hear them.

Because the tall brunette was right; Faith **had** to be alright for things to be okay.

Why? Well, Buffy wasn't quite sure, either.

"Yup. Cause you know, Faith, she's...one tough cookie." Willow mumbled not quite as enthusiastically as she might've if it was someone else, but trying, nonetheless.

"Speaking of cookies..." Xander reached inside Anya's purse, pulling out a small ziplock bag full of sugar cookies.

They all gave him varying looks of relief and amusement; leave it to Xander Harris to provide the sugary snacks and the distraction away from the somber mood that befell them. As each of them ate at their cookie - all in personal fashion - they watched through the glass window intently.

Lailo stood still, listening to the words that seemed to be spoken by both Angel and Giles, probably briefing her on what they knew so far about Faith and her injuries. Perhaps a bit on her past and what Lailo should be unlocking, because the return of all of Faith's memory was vital. Absolutely **key** in sorting things out again. Faith was having some sort of problem before she was sent into this amnesiac spell, and even if the Scoobies weren't planning on staying to help; Angel and Cordelia were definitely in want of helping her through it. Faith was in trouble, and even if she only had two actual friends...maybe they'd be able to help her overcome it.

Whatever the hell it was.

Suddenly, they saw Lailo's hands come up to stop Angel and Giles from speaking. Then she neared Faith's bed, looking down directly at the sleeping girl. And she stood.

Just stood.

"Why is she just...**standing** there?" Dawn fidgeted nervously, Buffy's lip biting clearly showing her own personal agitation at the scene.

"I don't know, pet, but it's making me bloody nervous." Spike finally spoke, brows furrowing as he also looked on with interest.

They turned to Anya, who was chewing wholeheartedly on her second cookie with no real sense of worry on her face. Xander gave her a little nudge, nodding towards the rest of them, who asked the question with their expressions.

"She's just getting ready to enter her. You don't need to act like she's about to cut off her head."

Pause.

"Because she's not."

Buffy sighed.

"We know, it's just that it's kinda weird. No, not just weird. It's freaky."

"For once, we agree on something." Cordelia deadpanned, smoothing her blouse out almost aggressively so. Even if it was clear that she was stressing out about the whole situation, she would never admit it openly; she certainly had too much pride to be acknowledging such weakness to these miscreants of her aggravatingly unpleasant past.

"Well, it's decided. If this all goes wrong...it's Anya's fault!" Willow joked nervously, the tension freaking her out.

"What?!"

"An, it's okay, Will was just joking."

"I thought jokes were supposed to be funny. Is this one of those really strange jokes? Because I failed to see the humor in it." Anya stated indignantly.

Willow was about to retort when there was a sharp intake of air and an exclamation:

"L-look!" Tara whispered excitedly, pretty pale eyes widening just like everyone else's were as they took in the image.

Even Anya looked on with anticipation.

Lailo was glowing. Shining, almost like an angel from an old movie with cheap graphics, except that this was the real deal. This was happening right before their eyes, and it was slightly unnerving. And as she shone brighter and brighter by the second, they squinted and blinked or turned away, almost missing the sudden flash of black before they saw her figure being sucked in through Faith's slightly parted lips. Her body arched up into the air for a halting moment, then fell back down onto the cot.

Lailo was gone.

They all let out a breath of relief, when a high keening noise broke the peace. The monitors flashed and the numbers were skyrocketing, then plummeting in erratic paces that simply could not be normal. Then Faith began to shake. Angel reached for her thrashing body while Giles rushed out into the hallway - where they were too shocked to move - calling out,

"Doctor! Where's the blasted doctor?!"

Immediately a nurse appeared with a syringe and the doctor followed right behind her. As Angel firmly held her down, the nurse pricked the needle through the skin and injected Faith's arm full of a sleeping narcotic, to alleviate any pain and to stabilize her system. While the doctor checked all immediate vitals, the nurse had to reboot the machines; all of which were strangely off calibration, even though they were perfectly fine not even an hour ago.

System malfunction?

Only they knew that had nothing to do with it.

"Is she..." Angel couldn't finish the question. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"She's seemed to have gotten back to her expected condition. She should be fine, but I'm afraid she'll be here for a while before she returns to normal." The doctor shook his head, sincerely concerned.

"So young, and yet so...haunted. You wouldn't believe a girl like that had done what she had." He tsked, pinching at the bridge of his nose.

"Well she's changed." Cordelia butted in defensively.

The doctor gave them all a sad look, smiling softly.

"I wasn't judging her, miss. I only wonder what in the world happened in her life to have pushed her so far. But there's no surprise. I talked to the Warden the other day about her hospitalization and it seems she has no immediate family, no money, nothing to her name, really, nothing out there waiting for her if she ever gets out. And that nasty accident she had not too long ago, the one that put her in a coma? I mean, I read about it and..." He shook his head again.

"I have to wonder if it really was a car crash. Looks like someone took a knife to her. Makes you wonder if she really deserves the sentence. Poor kid."

"Well maybe she deserved everything she got. She **is** the murderer here." Willow spoke up in defense of her friend, knowing the reference to the past that involved that night was making Buffy twinge.

He gave the redhead a funny look.

"Yes, but if she died, someone else would be, too."

Ouch.

It hit Buffy hard, and suddenly a part of her that she didn't recognize felt the guilt of never visiting Faith while she lied in Sunnydale General Hospital, waiting for nothing but to either wake up **to** nothing or to die as a nobody. And if she had died...?

Then the doctor was right. Somebody else would've been a murderer, and that somebody else was Buffy.

"Maybe she deserved it." Willow protested again, trying to convince not only the doctor, but themselves as well.

_Maybe she didn't._

Buffy couldn't help but think, the thought having been in her head since the very second she stuck the knife into Faith's stomach.

"Yea, maybe she was just in with a bad crowd." Xander added in, noticing the effect the doctor's words had on Buffy.

"And what, made some 'good' enemies?" The man made a disbelieving face, somewhat appalled by their gall. Weren't they supposed to be here to visit the girl? He had assumed they were friends. Then his expression hardened and he couldn't help but want to sock them all in the face, but before he could respond, another voice cut through the tension like a knife.

Soft. Low. Husky.

"With friends like them, who needs enemies?"


	12. Chapter 12

**And you're back for more! **

_**I'm gonna take this time to be a freak and promote my new fic, Dirty Little Secret. **_

**Go. Read it. Right after you're done with this chapter. That one will be updated every day, cause it's shorter. And it's done. This one...not yet. **

**Enjoy and review both ;) **

**I appreciate you. Really, I do.**

* * *

"Faith?"

Surprisingly enough to all of them, it was Dawn who spoke her name first.

"Ah, Ms. Lehane, how are you-" The startled doctor was interrupted by a blur of something that resembled a leggy brunette teen dashing by him to reach his patient and jumping up and down.

"Do you remember anything? Do you remember us? Do you-" Dawn's excited squeal stopped as soon as she noticed Faith's face paling even more and the way she flinched every time their hands touched.

No, she remembered nothing, and she was still afraid.

Dawn's face fell but she backed off immediately, knowing her limits and the possible catastrophe. She quit hopping and stepped a few paces backward, wringing her hands helplessly. She kept her eyes on Faith's face, wishing she could see that smirk they'd all secretly missed, but knowing it wasn't going to show just yet.

"Oh...sorry. I thought maybe you...never mind."

"It's cool. You just surprised me." She brought up her tough demeanor, the one that was so Faith. The one she used to protect herself, from anything and everything; even the ones who might've - at one time - wanted to help her.

"Do you remember anything at all?" Angel had to ask, wanting this to be over sooner, just so that he knew she was going to be safe.

She shrugged.

"I'm sorry if this brings on some more disappointment, but no."

They all glanced at each other nervously, not quite sure what this development was. They'd never seen Lailo at work, they didn't know if she was figuring things out or digging deeper before revealing what was wrong. So of course, they turned towards Anya, who returned their confused looks with a - sincere - apologetic expression.

"I don't know." She said.

"Don't know what?" Faith asked suspiciously. It was bad enough that she had no idea who these people are, she didn't even know who she was.

"Nothing. Just...let's go inside, Faith. You need rest." Angel saved, eyes not giving away the good amount of disappointment he felt. It hurt him, to know that through all of the troubles, he still hadn't been able to help Faith completely when she needed somebody the most. When she needed saving the most. Of course, it had to be him, because the one person who might've been able to help would've rather shoot herself in the head than help Faith.

Faith didn't say a word; her eyes narrowed for a moment before she turned and stepped right back into the room.

* * *

They followed her in, not quite knowing **what** to expect.

They watched hesitatingly while the doctor did a basic check-up on her, and after he left for a moment, she stared at something on the tile floor. As if it was the most interesting thing she's ever seen in her life, though none of them could really find anything all that amazing about the hopefully sterile white tiles that lined the floor.

"Funny, that I'd have a seizure out of nowhere, when it's not expected in the diagnosis." Her voice sounded so cold, it gave them all the chills just to hear it.

"And as soon as I get up, I have this wicked headache, like my head's about to split open." She said all of this so slowly, it made them feel funny.

"Even funnier, is that you guys are the only ones out there, even though there's always someone from the hospital roaming the halls. Almost like you pulled some magic trick out of your asses."

They each took a quick intake of breath. It almost sounded like a chorus of soft gasps that reverberated awkwardly throughout the dull room. She stood up, eyes now shooting suspicious daggers at each and every one of them, though she stayed a good distance away from the strange group.

"So I gotta ask; what the hell did you do to me?"

Silence.

"What did we do to you?" Willow asked, voiced raised in evident anger. She walked forth, menacingly, and Faith slid further alongside the cot, in the direction away from the advancing Wiccan.

"The real question is: What did **you** do to **us**?" She neared the Rogue Slayer, eyes twinkling black.

"Of course you don't remember. Anyone would've suppressed those memories. But **we** remember what **you** did to us. Do you need help remembering who you are?** What** you are?" Every sentence she spoke thereafter she took a step.

"A traitor." Step.

"A murderer." Step.

"A coward." Step.

"A monster." Step.

"Evil." She stopped right in front of Faith, who seemed to freeze so stiffly that with one nudge, one would expect her to crumble apart. The brunette was as pale as the white walls and when Willow's voice echoed and abruptly stopped in the room, nobody knew what would come next.

Faith crumpled over suddenly, shaking as though she was having another seizure. Willow backed up with a yelp, and as soon as it occurred, it was over. The Dark Slayer's leaned over torso stood itself up, in such an awkward, puppet-like fashion, that everyone was immediately wary. Her eyes were rolled back, and only the whites were showing, while a familiar shit-eating grin appeared on the flawless face. Hands shot up and grasped Willow by the shirt and pulled the unfortunate Wiccan towards her.

"So it looks like things never change, huh, Red? Not for you, not for good old Faithy. Really a fucking pity she doesn't remember jack shit. We could be causing some major damage by now, but nope, good and innocent old Faith just has to have fucking amnesia."

"Faith, let her go." Buffy's voice felt like sandpaper against her throat. She just saw a completely different Faith, one scared and innocent, turn into the old Faith; the one they all were afraid of. But now, something was wrong. That wasn't Faith. And for some reason, Buffy knew that. It looked like Faith, moved like Faith, spoke like Faith, but it wasn't her.

Except...if it was Lailo, then didn't she release a part of Faith that was the truth?

Already, Buffy could feel her inner hatred for Faith rise. Past events, words, and actions heated up and made her want to spill someone's blood. Faith's, preferably. If it came down to it, she was sure that she would gladly kill Faith for Willow. For any of her friends.

But wasn't Faith her friend, too?

No. She wasn't.

But...

No. Look at her, the bitch is back.

That's not Faith.

Right now it is.

But Faith...

Shut up.

"Let. Her. Go." Stronger now, and colder. The Slayer was here.

Faith's head turned and met Buffy's gaze with white eyes. Buffy held back a shiver; Faith looked so much like a demon. The Rogue Slayer laughed and shoved Willow away from her, who was immediately caught by Angel before she crashed into the counter lining a section of the wall.

"If it isn't my favorite little Golden Girl. How you doing, B?" She emphasized the nickname in a lilting tone, eyebrows rising and falling at the name. Her lips remained a smirk as she stepped to face Buffy squarely. She made herself stand up tall, but everybody noticed the wince she made as she forced her body to comply.

"I was doing well until I saw your face again, Faith."

"Never was good enough for you, huh, Buffy. You hear that, Faithy? You're not good enough. You never were, not for them!" Faith shouted gleefully, seemingly at nobody in particular. Except to herself.

"I know you said she was crazy, but that's pretty overbearing, even for me." Anya said loudly to Xander, who paled.

"Psychotic doesn't have anything on Faith." He replied in a slight squeak.

"That's not her." Cordelia snapped harshly.

"Oh yea? Explain the body, and the voice, and-and the pyscho-ness that embodies Faith!"

"Her eyes, you nit. Look at her eyes. That's not Faith. Lailo or whatever her name is has taken over."

Faith leaned against the cot, smiling, and gazing about the room as though she could see clearly.

"It still means it's Faith. Lailo doesn't control her hosts, remember? She reveals the truth and she-she lets her host do it for her!"

Cordelia almost blew out every vein in her body. She'd had enough of their nagging doubts. This wasn't Faith. Whatever that damn demon was doing, she was possessing Faith's body and taking it for a spin. And as Faith's designated best friend, she would not have it.

"**That**. Is not Faith, and I know it. Angel knows it. None of you might know it, but Faith changed, and you're just going to have to fucking accept that if you're going to be any help!"

"We're aware that this has gone completely out of our hands, Cordelia, but what do you suggest we do?" Giles retorted just as frustratedly, running his calloused hand through his hair.

"You're the life-saving, apocalypse-ending compadres, how am I supposed to know?"

"Come on, Cor. Let them have their mistrustful fun. I'm kind of enjoying the attention." Faith, or the body of, patted herself on the arm before shouting,

"You see? All that fucking time in prison for nothing, you idiot! They still don't trust you!"

Angel lunged. Faith dodged. Rolling around on the floor, breaking whatever they managed to run into, they grappled for control.

"Get...out...of...her...body...Faith! Listen to...me!"

"No fucking...chance...Soulboy...she's mine to...corrupt...!"

"Faith! Leave...her...alone...! Faith! Fight it!" At the final shout his hand slipped from the grip against hers and landed a blow across her face. The body went limp. He got up quickly, and motioned for Cordelia's help. But before she could get over there, the body stirred.

Faith stirred. And her eyes opened.

No white. Just fear.

"Angel?" Her voice sounded meek, so desperate, and so hollow that everyone in the room couldn't help but want to tear.

He knelt down next to her.

"It's okay, Faith, I'm here. I'm right here."

Faith began to cry.

Nobody had ever seen her so weak before.

She reached for him and he pulled her up, and her arms held tightly against his neck and he wrapped his arms around her protectively, soothing her.

"God...god...what's wrong with me...?"

It was a question they all had to ask themselves.

What was wrong with her?


	13. Chapter 13

**And here we go again...**

**By the way, Dirty Little Secret. Read it. I'm using my persuasive powers against you. **

**Oh and I just recently posted a new chapter to the Interview With The Vampire Slayers, it'd been a while. **

**Ah, and just for shits and giggles, I'm going to let you all read this comment left by a reviewer. I was going to respond, but I decided I'd rather see your responses instead, since most of you understand where I'm coming from. I am a big Faith fan, after all.  
**

_"Why they should care for crazy Faith? She killed two people,Buffy was wrong  
to knife Faith, but Faith  
was out of control and loving it. She tried to bring about the end of the  
world an now because she's  
emotionally out of it, the Scoobies are wrong? Just because you want to write  
a B/F fic, nobody could  
blame them for not trusting Faith for 2 seconds. Cordelia and the Doctor  
angry about their attitude  
too bad."_

**I get what you're saying, but...it's my fic. Roll with the punches, yea? :)**

**Okay anyways, enjoy and review.**

* * *

"So Lailo never did this much at all, but she's basically leaving Faith completely clueless until it comes to the whole vengeance Faith, who conveniently remembers everything." Anya explained while they stood outside in the lobby.

"I mean, you can't really cast out a vengeance demon like her, but considering that it's basically bordering on demonic possession, you could cast her out that way."

"Demonic possession? Are you positively sure, Anya?" Giles was very serious.

A demon spirit taking over someone's body? Isn't that something you see in the movies, nowadays? They all wonder. Except Anya. Except Angel. Except Spike. They're far from surprised, and much closer to worried than the others are. As they should be. Something like this could have something horribly malicious planned behind it. Or maybe Lailo was just doing her job; with certain conditions. They must take all things into account. Why now? Why Faith? How much of her did Lailo possess? What motives? Etc. etc. It was dangerous business, being good, but the three supposed it redeemed them of the horrors they'd planted into the Earth years ago. At least, they tried to make it work, though some doubt if it would truly balance it out or not. What other choices did they have, other than the one they were originally forced upon?

"So...we're positive she's not just crazy and has, say, multiple personality disorder?" Xander asked nervously, looking up from a psychology book.

"It's possible, but highly unlikely." Anya stated pristinely. They waited for her to continue, but of course, with Anya, you **must** be precise and literal. Otherwise (if you were a peasant girl in the 1500s) your revenge wouldn't go quite exactly as planned.

"Care to explain why? As in, tell us everything?" Buffy's sarcasm isn't completely lost. Just not completely taken into account. Anya could understand the frustration of working with her. It was one of the perks of being powerful. Not that she was now.

"Well Lailo's definitely far from insane, and from what I've seen, Faith - in general - definitely isn't crazy. Until you get to the whole vengeance-y part, but not many people can hold onto their sanity when they're trying to get back at someone." She paused, while everyone just stared at her like they always do.

"So until we find out who and for what reason she's harboring resentment against, we're gonna have a hard time figuring out her next move. From what I hear, she's pretty unpredictable when she's...angry."

Cordelia threw her hands up, finally pointing in the general direction of Buffy, Willow, and Xander.

"Well that's easy. Just put **those** three at the top of the list and you should have just about the whole fucking list."

"Oh so this is **our** faults, somehow?" Buffy responded defensively.

"Yes." "No." "Maybe."

Cordelia. Angel. Anya.

Angel gave Cordelia a look, who only scowled in return. Anya just shrugged. He sighed and faced the Scoobs.

"**No**, it's not your faults. I just wish I took some time to think about it before I asked you to come. I was so sure she thought of you guys in better terms than **that**..." His voice trailed off softly.

Hell, so did they. Except apparently she didn't.

"Go on, Anya." Giles shifted his glasses.

"So it's the powerful demon, Lailo, possessing a powerful host, Faith." Her voice was extremely calm, like a politician explaining the details of the new Hitler and the atom bomb.

"Just find a way to do something like an exorcism, and in concept, it should work."

Angel sighed while Cordelia huffed while Giles massaged his temples while Buffy frowned.

"I don't get it. Why did Lailo...?" Buffy gestured as she trailed off, the question rather well understood by the others.

Anya turned serious, brows furrowing slightly in concern and solemnity.

"She must've seen something inside of Faith that nobody else here could see. Sometimes the most outgoing people have the darkest souls."

There was a bit of a silence while everybody took the time to think. It was pretty clear now that Faith was not anywhere near faking whatever issues she was having. Well, shit, **nobody** could fake something that well. No, not even Faith, who was the queen of manipulation.

"So...say Faith is all about the vengeance when Lailo wants her to be. That means her dark side is targeting people. Which means **we**-" Buffy made a general hand gesture towards herself and her fellow Scoobs.

"Are not of the safe side."

"She doesn't know me, or Spike or Tara, so we're pretty safe." Anya remarked openly, apparently pretty unconcerned.

Dawn also spoke.

"Buffy, I think I'm pretty safe; Faith never...she never targeted me, or even hurt me."

"Well, technically, you weren't actually there." Xander said as gently as he could, not wanting to hurt any feelings. And the Summers sisters were the worst ones to piss off. They had the uncanny, sisterly ability to break both of his legs; one with her bare hands and the other with a baseball bat.

Hey. Dawn had a damn good swing for a girl her age.

"But that doesn't matter, I still remember everything, just like you remember everything. Faith actually cared about me. She saved my life a couple times."

"She saved mine, too, but still with the psycho-ness." Buffy pointed out. She had to agree, though.

Faith never did do much to hurt Dawn. Actually, she often went out of her way to make Dawn feel more like she was a friend rather than just someone's kid sister. Dawn was right; she remembered everything. All the times when Dawn would yap away about something or another that really didn't hold up much interest in either Slayer's life, but Faith always listened. Willow's babble, Xander's drooling, Giles' smart talk, Buffy's complaints; Faith always laughed, snorted, or ignored them. But with Dawn, she actually paid attention. Called her a brat, called her a squirt, and although Dawn took the nicknames with a pout, they all knew that it was Faith's way of being endearing.

"So basically...you four are fucked." Cordelia finalized with a slight shrug in her shoulders, looking even less concerned than Anya did.

"Way to sound really excited." Buffy bit back dryly, rolling her eyes at the scowl Cordelia sent her way.

Spike just watched in obvious amusement while a small catfight started up between the two mighty Titans. The queen of spoil-dom and the queen of self-righteousness. He figured somebody should record this and send it to America's Funniest Home Videos. It'd win a helluva lot more ratings, that's for sure. His fingers were itching for a cigarette, but hospitals don't allow it. Not that it really mattered. What's a bit of smoke in a closed in building full of diseases? Probably the worst place a person could be holed up in, but then again, most of the time people don't expect you to leave the damn place alive.

Then his mind wandered onto the subject of Faith. Sure, the chick was a bit off the rail, but there was something about seeing her that helpless and broken that made him feel uncomfortable. In some odd way her predicament reminded him of his. He used to be powerful, too. Used to be a big head honcho with a knack for spilling blood across countries. But somewhere along the lines he was reduced to a vampire with a chip in his head, bloody in love with a vampire Slayer, of all people to be in love with. And there was Faith, a menace to the goodness of the world for a bit, siding with the darkness because it was just that much more comfortable there. Now she was reduced to a prisoner in a hospital, with no real clue to who she was or why these people were making it a point to belittle her every second they had with her.

Yup, the similarities were most definitely there.

He was busy ignoring the others' quarrels and arguments and 'good points' when something caught his eye.

Oh. Shit.

"Looks like Slayer 2 is awake, loves, and not quite herself." Spike jerked his head towards the large glass window, where Faith (or whatever was inside of her) was standing, head tilted so far it looked unnatural. There was a smile on her face that would've made the Joker from Batman proud. He couldn't have done a better job.

Her eyes were open. Her eyes were white.

Buffy's heart pounded.

_Bam!_

A hand smacked itself against the window and rested there, making the scene even more creepy than it was before.

"What. The. Fuck." Cordelia's voice whispered out loud what they were all thinking.

"Lock the door." Angel said immediately to a passing doctor. The doctor stuttered.

"Lock it!" Angel shouted. The doctor complied, nervously turning the key, containing the girl inside the room. He dashed off, muttering about another patient, knowing not to say a word of this to anyone.

Faith made no movement, she only continued to smile, and they couldn't tell where the eyes were looking.

"Did I mention that I'm absolutely terrified of this girl now?" Anya stated calmly.

"That's how I used to feel. Now I'm about to shit my pants." Xander replied with a squeaky voice. Willow's eyes were wide, and her interlocked fingers were sweating with fear. Tara squeezed lightly, though she herself was frightened as well.

Dawn's heart was racing. Buffy's heart just stopped.

Terror has a way of doing that.

_Bam!_

They all jumped, and flushed in humiliation when the frozen face laughed mechanically, bringing her head back into a normal position. Her other hand had reached up to slam against the window as well, but it didn't rest there. Instead, it pointed. With every defined point, she jabbed her finger against the glass, and mouthed a single word. They didn't know how they knew, but somehow it wasn't too hard to tell.

_Jab. _'You.'

Giles nearly had a heart attack.

_Jab. _'You.'

Xander almost shit his pants.

_Jab. _'You.'

Willow felt like fainting dead away.

_Smash! _

"You."

Buffy's breath hitched in her throat.


	14. Chapter 14

**A little short, but I've been working on other stuff, too. But you only have to wait a couple days, yea? I try to stay consistent with my updates. **

**Thanks for all your encouraging reviews, by the way, they're very uplifting to read. You guys are the flipping best. **

**Enjoy and review!**

* * *

"**That's** the vengeance Faith." Anya said, eyeing the girl cautiously.

Suddenly something in Faith's disposition changed. They weren't quite sure what, but there was an air about her that was strangely different and the way that smile was set on her face was oddly not quite Faith. It was pretty obvious to both Tara and Anya; Tara, who could see the drastic change in the aura. Anya, because she just...knew.

"And **that's** Lailo." Anya confirmed.

Faith - or was it Lailo? - who hadn't stepped across the boundaries between her isolation room and the waiting room, turned to face her.

"I had a feeling this would be exhilarating..." She grinned, a sultry, sexy grin that made all of their knees weaken.

"But then of course I did." A leg swung over the broken glass, then another. The glass didn't seem to bother the bare feet, though the trail of blood wasn't hard to notice.

The trail that led directly in front of Anya.

"It's just that it's been..." A hand rested on her neck.

"Much..." The body edged closer. Anya's eyes closed, face squinched.

"Too..." The other hand laid itself lightly against her hip.

"Long..." The lips were tantalizingly close to her ear.

Then Anya felt herself being shoved back into Xander, who had been ogling at the scene with very mixed feelings. They had all been ogling.

"Fuck." Anya muttered, pulling away from her boyfriend. Lailo held the grin that was just SO Faith.

"Isn't it a little early for that, Anyanka? All the other times, we still went out and enjoyed a day ruining mortal lives before **that **happened."

"Y-y-you?! With a girl?! With th-th-the girly-loving?!" Xander was in shock. Lailo laughed.

"Oh Anya, what a pitiful downgrade!"

"He is none of your concern." Anya growled. Everybody else huddled a little closer.

As much as Spike disliked Xander, and vice versa, they still respected each other, and Spike had no wishes for Xander to die. He was finding the donut-boy's jokes rather amusing, lately.

"But he is, Anya. They all are. You know what I am, what I am capable of. And of course, that I haven't lost my powers." Lailo spoke nonchalantly. She turned and sauntered across the space to lean against the locked door.

"I know exactly what you are capable of, Lailo. But you can't back out on this deal. And what vengeance here could you possibly be interested in? The revenge needed is **against** your host. She's caused an incredible amount of har-"

"You are such a fool." Faith (or Lailo, more like) spat angrily at their feet.

"Your demon eyes have been blinded by mortal 'feelings'. I suppose it hasn't occurred to you that perhaps your mortal friends are at more fault than they let on?"

Anya didn't reply. Lailo's angry expression changed again suddenly, the white eyes crinkled in twisted happiness.

"The bitter **need** for closure is so pleasingly strong in this body. She cared so much for your mortals, that it killed her. Oh the tragedy!" She spoke in a mocking tone, and it stung their hearts.

"If she truly cared, then her heart will show her the way out of your powers."

"Her heart? You mean what's left of it."

Anya was about to speak again, when a hoarse voice interjected.

"What do you mean, what's left of it?" Cordelia asked the question that they all wanted answered.

Lailo poised her head thoughtfully.

"Cordelia. The one she calls 'Cordy'." She paused, before turning to Angel.

"And you, Angelus...Angel. Forgive me earlier for our struggle. You merely took me by surprise. I hope I didn't injure you, because she has no grievance against you. Nor Cordelia." She turned back to Cordelia.

"You didn't answer the question, demon." Angel's voice deepened.

"Don't be so rude, Angel. The girl is fueled by emotions, but as of late, all the good has been swept away with her plodding sanity. An open invitation to a being of my status. Her rage is fierce, the pain of your shunning increasing every day, and her guilt - oh the guilt." A tongue flicked out to lick her lips.

"It is so delicious." She pushed herself off the wall, starting to walk around slowly, like a tabby cat before it pounces on a mouse.

"So much guilt...she hates herself, you know." The eyes roamed from Buffy, to Willow, to Xander, to Giles.

"Because of you four."

They said nothing.

"Well, that's all the information I feel like sharing." Her countenance slightly changed, and old Faith was back.

"I'll catch you later, guys." The white eye winked. When it opened again, it was brown. The other eye just rolled into place.

"What the hell?" Her voice trembled, though she tried not to let it show.

It did.

Faith saw how close she was to them. To **them**. She scrambled back a little too quickly, to create some distance.

"Hey, it's okay." Cordelia moved to embrace her, holding her with warmth and care.

They all noticed the softness of her touch.

Something in Buffy's head twitched.


	15. Chapter 15

**You guys...are smashing. Fantastic reviewers. Makes me sniffle and weep everytime I read them ;) **

**Anywho, this one gives you some heads up on Lailo's side of the story. Perhaps an insight to the 'antagonist' point of view, no? **

**Enjoy and review, mates.**

* * *

Lailo. Another vengeance demon. With a bit of a twist.

While Anya had fulfilled her vengeance with a wish, Lailo acted more of a parasite, taking on the body as a host to her deeds. They didn't necessarily have to be an amnesiac; it just worked rather well in this case. Most times she just stepped in and allowed the power of their scorn and need for revenge to take over. Then she'd just sit back and enjoy the ride. She could take control of the body then, but she preferred to watch the events unfold, and all she had to do was block whatever had been preventing the revenge in the first place. As of late, however, she'd been getting rather bored of the mortals she took on. The revenge was more or less uneventful, and always so unoriginal. It just wasn't contenting.

Until Faith.

When Anyanka and the odd crowd of beings asked for her assistance and brought her to Faith, she was immediately drawn by the intrigue. Even on her sleeping face Lailo could feel the emanating pain and the rage. The scorn. She could feel as the pain ate away at the Slayer, making her weaker, and more crazed and that much easier to permeate. Even in her unconscious, amnesiac state there were nightmares. Of the past, of the present; Lailo couldn't be completely sure until she was in. Once the girl was in a deeper state of mind, Lailo entered the body. And in turn she was instantly informed of Faith's life story. She saw the events that took place throughout the dark Slayer's past and felt the hurt and the anger that embodied the old Faith. The one that craved vengeance.

Lailo had found her perfect host.

She didn't do a thing just yet, waiting for the time to be perfected. Thanks to that redheaded Wiccan with a jealous streak, it didn't take too long. But while the few moments passed, Lailo had eons of time to see what exactly it was that brought Faith to the emergency room. Although the trip to the hospital ended up being a good turn for her, she was a bit disturbed at the cause. She denied it in her head, because demons weren't meant to feel pity for mortal beings. But she watched the girl hurt herself, submit herself **to** herself, and she saw the way she allowed that one guard to beat on her. Lailo planned to later inform Angel who it was who had given Faith that concussion. One of the prison guards was a real asshole, and incapable of dealing with rude remarks. Faith had only responded to his boorish behavior with a simple,

"Dick."

And was awarded with a blow to the back of the head with a metal rod. If she was at full strength, it may not have hurt her so badly, but she wasn't, and it did.

Even if Faith was currently uncertain of her memory, she was still in there, waiting to be triggered out. So therefore, the old Faith was there as well. When she saw that even the amnesiac Faith reacted so strongly at the sight of Buffy and the Scoobs, Lailo knew she couldn't go through with the deal. Not for someone this abused; it was time for her to do her job. Lailo usually went for a one shot type of deal, but there was something inside Faith - amnesia or not - that fought back. It struggled against the old ways, the old habits, and Lailo had been rather surprised when the vengeance was shoved back and away from the surface.

Impressed, even.

It was surprising, but not unheard of.

Just unusual, because most of her hosts' spirits were not strong enough to fight back. Which might've been saying something about her choices in hosts, but she was pretty sure that wasn't the case. It just took a strong mind to break through her wall and to re-attain the anger and hate.

So when it happened, she merely smiled a little to herself and began to think that this was going to be a much more interesting ride than she'd first assumed. And that was saying a lot.

Because as strong as Faith's mind may be, so equally was the hate of the scorned Faith. Lailo was pleased at the extent of which Faith would go to in order to freak the shit out of her so-called enemies. The tendency to be violent and the bold - or insane - way she tempted Death to take her life. The impulsive actions. Finally, a character who might have been violent and manipulative enough to be a demon herself.

But if there was one thing Lailo planned to prevent, it was letting Faith come to any more harm. There was something inside of her that melded a sort of bond between host and parasite, Slayer and demon, that cultivated a sense of protection. Lailo would've claimed it was the fact that she was in a protective barrier whenever she entered a mortal, but she could not admit to feeling this protection over any of her other hosts. She was much too proud to say that even **she** was disgusted by Faith's past and the things that had been done to her. She was too proud to say she truly was disgusted by the people who scorned this girl without a single thought to who she was. Even if she had switched sides. Lailo could understand it. Just knowing about the past; she could definitely relate to it.

There was no doubt in her mind that they deserved it.


	16. Chapter 16

**This chapter is kind of an insight to Angel's thought process.**

**Enjoy and please review. I require it to fuel my story-writing abilities...**

* * *

"That's your genius idea? To go in and **talk** to Faith?" Xander asked in incredulity.

Buffy had to agree, it was a pretty tough thing to ask. Especially since it was pretty clear now exactly who she was targeting.

"At least when she has no idea about who she is. Talking to her while she's still...vulnerable, might help bring back more memories. She's going to need it. The rest of us will be right outside if she gets really bad. We'll take turns." Angel explained, trying to be as persuasive as he could, but failing since his furrowed brows and unmoving expression seemed a little more on the demanding side.

"Well what happens if Miss Jealous over here gets another wind of uber-bitch?" Cordelia jerked her head towards Willow, arms crossed and scowl on her face.

Sure, she wanted Faith to get better, but she didn't trust these Scooby freaks for a second. Maybe Giles. He seemed formidable enough, but the others were still lurking about on her bad side. It was already clear that Faith had a horrible reaction to their being here, and they'd made things worse and worse as the minutes ticked on by. What else was she supposed to feel other than suspicion and concern?

Granted, Willow was already feeling pretty self-conscious about her blurtout; a several years of pent up emotions and turmoil would do that. She didn't mean to go overboard with her reaction, but something about Faith had always made her feel somewhat bad. Perhaps the way it felt like Faith was so different? The way it seemed like she could read you in a heartbeat, even if you could hardly see past the smoky grin and the smoky eyes? Or the way she made you feel so out of control, and so fast? Mainly, though, it was probably the way she effected Buffy. It was clear as day just how much freer, much open Buffy was around Faith. So much wilder. Reckless? Or maybe it was just more in tune with her Slayer self. Her confident self. It made Willow feel like the underdog again. And to know she resented Faith for that just made her feel like a whiny selfish little girl. Even if Faith should've known better, it seemed that maybe she should've known better, as well.

"I...there won't be any more that, Cordy. I promise...just a little glitch..." Willow mumbled almost incoherently, thanking the Goddess for Tara's ever-steady, ever-calming presence by her side.

Cordelia just snorted and turned away angrily. It was just too much to ask. Although, of course, it wasn't her vote that counted all that much.

It was Faith's.

"I'll go in and talk to her. I really think this might work while we work on this exorcism deal. Think on it." Angel said, already leaving them to deal with the heavy burden of having to talk to Faith one on one, to be truly vulnerable in the presence of a vulnerable Faith.

Nobody could be sure who would be more afraid.

* * *

"Faith?" Angel neared the bed where the injured girl lay watching some re-run of a soap opera on the telly.

She looked fine as she was, just clicking away at the remote, lowering the volume and turning her head to acknowledge Angel's presence.

"Hey." He said, sitting down beside her.

"Hi." She replied, just as softly.

"Feeling any better?"

She gave a cute half-grin and shrugged.

"Been worse, so yea, I guess I'm doing better. Faster than the doc expected. And the TV works better than I remember."

Angel was slightly startled.

"Than you remember?"

Faith gave him a funny look.

"Yea, isn't that weird? I kinda remember what it was like at wherever I used to crash. Especially the TV...it was a crap TV. Never worked. Kinda like sometimes in my dreams, I see the static lines in the memories I should remember. I remember them, those people outside. I know that I know who they are, I just can't remember. But then again, I just don't feel like I should remember." She paused for a moment before turning her head all the way sideways and furrowing her brows innocently.

"Kinda embarrassed to admit it, but I'm scared of Blondie...and I don't even know why."

Yep, it was pretty clear to Angel that Faith was still a little far from remembering, since the Faith he knew would never admit to being afraid; especially not of Buffy.

But then again, it could come to an advantage in truly understanding how Faith worked. Maybe this could be a breakthrough, and when they fixed Faith - which they would, he would make sure of it - the air could be cleared faster. Better. More efficiently. Maybe he could truly help Faith and shine the light on the pathways. Then again, this could make it harder for her to trust him afterwards. Would it be taking an advantage? Yes. Could it possibly cause the situation to worsen? Yes. So it was probably a safer idea to just talk to her. Don't dig for feelings or opinions unless she gives them of her own accord.

Angel's initial boost of excitement settled down as he rationalized it all in his head.

"What'd you rationalize about?" Faith's voice entered his stream of consciousness.

"What?" He asked jerking his head up to meet her amused look.

"Not that hard to read when you're not trying to hide it, bro." She mentioned with a grin.

A grin that made him feel relaxed inside. It'd only been about a month since he saw her last when she had her memory, but it felt like years since he had seen her smile with such abandon. With no weight bearing upon her shoulders and the world was cutting her into little bits while she was at it.

Well no, maybe he'd never ever seen her smile purely for the hell of it, but it had been a long time since he'd seen her at least somewhat okay. Had heard her banter without so much the brows furrowing with sorrow and rage and pain and anger. The Faith who didn't remember being so destroyed in the past forgave more easily. The Faith without the scars without the terrors without the bullshit...was pure. More beautiful than the make-up the darker Faith hid behind. So how much damage was it that she'd gone through that even he didn't know about?

So much.

Hopefully not too much.

"Don't feel bad for me, Angel. I don't even know what you're feeling bad about. I **am** a killer, after all." Her grin faded with her words as she turned back to the TV screen.

And she had a guilty conscience. A surprisingly strong one. So clearly, it had been with her since the night she killed Finch. They were fools. Played like fools, believing she really didn't care for all that time? Pressing her, pushing her, shoving her into corners without taking a moment to think that she was going insane behind that cold hard mask she had up all along. Fucking hell.

"Faith, I need to ask you something." His voice stayed calm, even though his fists were clenched tight on his lap.

Angel didn't easily become angry, but sometimes his over-analyzing, over-brooding mind called for it. And he was angry now at his idiocy. At their idiocy.

"Yea, what's up?"

Talking. They all needed to talk to her. Bond with her. Help her remember all the good times; Lailo had already supplied the bad.

"Well, you, actually."

"Me?" She asked, sitting up a little more, muting the TV so she could hear what Angel had to say.

"To help trigger your memory, I thought it'd be a good idea to have us talk to you, one on one, maybe go over the times you spent with them and whatever. All you have to do is listen, if you don't want to talk. If any of them get too aggressive, just call for me, I'll get them out. If you don't feel good, just call, I'll be in before you know it. I just want you to get better, Faith, and I know it hurts to see them, but I need you to do this for me, for Cordy, and for yourself. Can you do that?" He felt almost rushed when he finished, trying to remind her that he was going to be there.

That he wasn't going to fail her this time around.

"Calm down there, big guy-"

Big guy.

Faith used to call him that back when she remembered who he really was. Who she really was.

"-don't have to go all convinc-y on me...I'm down." Faith said, a bit haltingly, but firmly.

So much more willing to ideas.

Back then she used to be so quick to defend herself. So quick to protect herself, because from experience: people never had good intentions.

Faith with a clean slate was so naturally open. So naturally friendly and laid-back and trusting.

"I want to talk to you last-"

He stood up.

"-so I'll get the others."

He gave her a tight smile and a nod, turned and left the room as silently as he came in.

Angel didn't mean to be so cold or so stiff, but his mind was on overdrive. He couldn't think completely straight, and he figured eventually that when it came to be his turn, he would have a good long talk with Lailo. She knew everything now, and he wanted information.

Whoever had chalked up, marked up, scratched up, and burned up who Faith could've been was going to pay.


	17. Chapter 17

**Danke for your reviews, please do keep them coming. **

**IMPORTANT NOTE: **

**I am afraid to have to tell you all that because this week is hectic (I am moving), and school is starting this coming week, my updates may have longer intervals in between. However, I promise that I shall try to update as often as possible. Try, being the key word. **

**Please review; my fics could not survive without them. **

**I do think you may enjoy this chapter. I certainly enjoyed writing it. :)**

* * *

"She's fine with it." Angel's voice was dangerously quiet when he approached the apprehensive group of people.

Buffy recognized the signs immediately; the slight head-tilt down, the shadow in the eyes, the clenched fists that barely peeked through beneath the black sleeves of his impressive coat. And just that tone of voice that was just a tone deeper, a shade darker, perhaps even more menacing than usual.

But Angel could be so subtle. Nobody else noticed it all that much other than Cordelia, who first quirked an eyebrow then pursed her lips.

"Don't expect her to talk; just talk on your own. Try to remind her of the good times you spent with her company, maybe the first time you met her...something. Anything. Don't antagonize her, don't get rough with her, and don't ask for her opinions or even ask personal questions." He instructed carefully, looking them all in the eyes deeply.

"If Lailo makes an appearance, back away and shout quickly; any loud noises means it's free reign for us to come in. If she starts calling for me, it means she's really uncomfortable or you've said or done something to upset her, and I'll go in and throw you out as forcefully as I can. Do you understand me?" Now his voice was much more obviously threatening, his eyes flashing and boring into their eyes with the warning that clearly said,

_Don't fuck around, and don't hurt her, or there will be hell to pay._

And Angel was no liar.

"I'll go first, if you don't mind." Giles stepped up quietly.

Angel nodded and Giles took no glances back as he walked in, while the others fidgeted nervously.

* * *

He was also slightly nervous, adjusting his glasses as soon as he was inside.

She was looking up at him as soon as he'd stepped in and closed the door behind him, but her look was one of curiosity rather than fear. More guarded than directly suspicious. He recalled back in the day when Faith hardly ever responded to authority figures all that well, though he also recalled that he never particularly bothered to act as one. Not as he should have. Not as he did with Buffy.

He frowned. What in the world was he even thinking back then?

Two Slayers out of two in the whole entire world and he didn't even so much as think just how honored he should've been to have the privilege of being a Watcher to both of them. No, he merely waited for another one? Both of whom drove Faith farther and farther into the dark? Was he insane? Or was he just plain stupid?

"Don't beat yourself up just yet, man. We haven't even said our greetings." Faith motioned to the chair beside her makeshift hospital bed, and he - flustered - obliged.

"I do apologize, I'm not...I forgot my manners..."

_For goodness' sake, Rupert. Get a hold of yourself, man, you're acting like a blasted fool!_

She shrugged nonchalantly, fiddling with her IV cord.

"Eh. We're in a hospital, only manners you can follow is to not smoke. Which completely blows. I've been itching for a cig since yesterday."

"Ah yes, you always did have an unhealthy habit of smoking." Giles responded without thinking.

"Did I? I wouldn't know. Just following instincts, ya know?" She cocked an eyebrow at him.

He adjusted his glasses again.

"You were very good at that, too."

"Guess you knew me well?" She asked, looking ever-so carefree, even though he could see by the clenched fists and whitened knuckles that she was hoping he really did.

Unfortunately, there wasn't much he could tell her.

He didn't know much. He didn't know much at all. And out of all he did know, he wasn't even sure where to start. At the beginning? Well, sure, if it really **was** the beginning. Her life hardly started when they first met. Her Slayer life wasn't even beginning. She was in a stage of turmoil, and Giles had done what? He'd done nothing. He just stood by idly while Faith's life unraveled in front of their blinded eyes. If only she had asked for help, and if only they'd seen past her cold exterior.

They were all fools, but he was the worst of all. Wasn't he the oldest? Shouldn't he have been able to be mature enough to tell? Wise enough?

He sighed.

"I'm afraid not, my dear."

"Oh." She looked a bit forlorn at the disappointment, but shrugged before lightening up again.

"So I guess you're supposed to just talk to me?"

"Uh, yes, I believe so."

"So..." She pressed, glancing at him questioningly.

He cleared his throat.

So where did he start? Well he supposed he could start with the Slayer thing. Giles had thought about it, questioned himself about it, double-backed and over and second-guessed himself about it, and eventually came to the conclusion that he should be perfectly honest about it. Perhaps it would clear the air about many things and explain some missing pieces and strange odd ones that wouldn't make sense at all if she were just...human. Yes, it was a better idea to fill her in on the information.

Of course, he would have to revise his, 'one girl in all the world' speech.

_Here goes nothing, Rupert. Or everything._

"I'll begin with what you are, Faith." He said, sitting up straight.

"You mean with who I am?"

"No." He said firmly, gazing into her eyes.

"With **what** you are."

* * *

"There is a prophecy, that has existed longer than you and I both could even imagine, and within it, it states that 'Into each generation a girl is born, a Chosen one. She alone will wield the strength and skill needed to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness, stopping the swell of their numbers and the spread of their evil. **She** is the Slayer.'" He paused for a moment, letting it all sink in.

Her face showed nothing.

No disbelief, no scorn, no shock, no hurt, nothing.

So he continued.

"**You**, Faith, are such a girl." He paused again, this time - unadmittedly - for effect.

She then cocked her head slightly, before looking at him carefully, scrutinizing whether or not he was poking fun at her, telling the truth, absolutely bonkers and out of his mind, or all three put together. It didn't take too long to figure out which one it was.

Or which two.

She let out a breath.

"I'd call you crazy, but for some reason I believe ya, and I think that kinda makes me crazy."

_Well, she certainly took that well._

He wasn't sure if that was the hard part, though, so he could hardly say anything was close to over. He mopped at his brow, nervous sweat already threatening to gather there.

"I suppose that's a relief, then. I was worried that you might-"

"Not believe you? Even if my body knows you, I don't **really** know you. So I don't have the privilege of **not** believing in ya. Speaking of which, what's your name?"

He almost jumped.

Of course, he hadn't even told her his name yet. How silly of him. He really must be getting - what did Xander say? - old and senile. In his mind he smiled wryly at the thought. Just to even think of it is silly. Rupert Giles, Giles, Old Man, and the ever so infamous Ripper...

Senile?

_I think not._

"Ah, I beg your pardon. I am...my name is Rupert Giles, but everybody seems to be content with calling me-"

"Giles..." Faith said softly, her eyes suddenly glazing over with a flicker of a memory.

Pieces were beginning to take place in her head; dots were connecting and broken wires were being tied together again.

"Giles..." She murmured again, almost as if she was rolling it around in her head to have it fit where it would have fit before she lost her memory.

He was almost shaking with anticipation.

Until he realized his hand felt somewhat uncomfortable.

It was being squeezed tight under her grasp, and he could feel the bones rubbing up against each other.

He opened his mouth to cry out.

"G-man, isn't it?" Her voice was deeper, gravelly, filled with a certain emotion he couldn't quite place.

He glanced up, and he could've sworn he saw her eyes flicker backwards before coming back again.

"Y-yes." He whispered in response.

"Tell me, G-man. Tell me, why don't I like you? Your name fits in so perfectly in the missing blanks that I can match to the faces that I've seen, but why is it that who I am...who I **was**, just couldn't stand you?" Her voice lowered into a hiss and the danger was evident.

"Faith..." He whispered, then he nearly screamed at the feeling that went into shock in his fingers.

A hand lifted his chin and he was soon staring into very white eyes and an unamused grin.

"Why do you speak her name as though you **know** who she is? Mortal fool." Lailo (for it was she) snarled.

Then the hand dropped and the blood rushed to his fingers as she choked on her next words. Her body struggled a bit in the sheets before her eyes - which had shut tightly - opened to reveal her dark browns and the cold sweat visible on her skin arose goosebumps.

Even in his wincing pain, Giles noted that Faith had once again broken through Lailo's power grasp.

She glanced around quickly before gasping at his hand, which he cradled in his other hand, making a face that indicated the excruciating pain that her grasp had on it.

"Oh dude, I'm so sorry! I didn't...are you...is it broken?" She asked, clearly more shaken than he was.

Reasonably so.

"No, I...I don't think so..."

"God, I'm so sorry, it must be schizo. I mean, it's gotta be, I'm so so sorry!"

No matter how much pain he was in, he couldn't help but chuckle wryly at her statement. He of course stopped to explain once he saw her staring at him like he was insane.

"No no, I'm not laughing at you, Faith. It's just that you don't have schizophrenia."

"Multiple personality disorder, then! Whatever!"

He shook his head again at her antics, with a small smile. He did promise himself he'd tell her the whole truth. So the truth it was.

"Not at all. Faith, you have been possessed by a demon."


	18. Chapter 18

**Whoo. Busy busy busy. **

**Sorry I have not been able to update at the usual time; I'm afraid the updates are just going to be few and farther between. **

**However, I promise I'll finish it. Just please be patient and feed me reviews, since whenever I check my email I am reminded just how many people wish for me to continue. It's incredible motivation. **

**Anywho, enjoy and do review!**

* * *

Now she stared at him like he just popped out another head. Possibly two.

"Say what?"

"I know, it's a bit much to take in, but-"

Faith shook her head and held up her hands, giving him an incredibly strange and confused look.

"Okay whoa. Hold up, G. You had me up to the extra strength thing, but you lost me somewhere between that and this possession thing."

He flexed his hand once again and gave his wrist a little roll to loosen it up before he started to speak again.

"Indeed, it is rather a strange thing to be hearing, but you said yourself that you could somewhat make sense of the information I gave you."

Faith's nose scrunched up a tiny bit as she gave the idea a few moments. Then she shook her head again.

"No way. I never even believed in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy, and there's no way...just no."

Giles took a moment to be half amused and half delighted by the fact that she could recall a bit of information about herself without even realizing it. However, it was also slightly disheartening. A child who had never believed in something so iconic as Santa Clause...not even for a bit when she was just a little girl; it's really very sad. Of course, he felt somewhat silly to feel sympathy for someone who just happened to not believe in the round-bellied, white-bearded, seemingly immortal man, but it was Faith.

She who never seemed to believe or trust or care for anything.

"I don't expect you to believe it. But you have to admit that it makes a good bit of sense. Faith, no matter what you end up believing, what I have just told you is very much the truth, and the truth is that you are a Slayer, and the designated target of most vampires and demons who would thrive upon this Earth without girls like you." He said, boring his eyes into her to let her know that he was not joshing, nor was he going out of his way to mess around with her any more than she had already been messed around with.

For the first time, Giles really cared about Faith as much as he did about Buffy, and what a waste of time it was just to get to this point.

Where he should've been the first, Angel - a **vampire**, nonetheless - was the first, and perhaps the only one who believed in Faith. The only one who had faith in her. Put all his chips in the middle for her, even when the house and all the other players at the table scoffed and sniggered or was indifferent to his risk. When the whole world was betting on his imminent loss, Angel won.

Faith won.

Angel took all the chips home, but the win was only one-fourth his effort and belief. The other three quarters was all Faith. She proved them all wrong in their own territory, with nothing but herself and a goal set for redemption.

"If I was supposed to be good, then why did I do it?" Faith's soft but clear voice penetrated Giles' thoughts.

"I beg pardon?"

She glanced down at her hands almost pitifully.

"I'm supposed to get rid of evil...so how did I end up being the evil one?" She didn't raise her voice, there was no quaver to her question, just nothing.

How good she was at confining emotion.

Especially at this time, when nothing truly effected her emotions because she did not know who she was. When you know nothing of yourself and don't even know the closest of friends - or worst of enemies - there is no such thing as emotion. You are void or devoid or just completely empty of emotions, because you're you with a clean slate. No pre-judgements about yourself or others around you. Indeed, now, there was no such thing as emotion for Faith. Much, much less than before.

Back then, she showed one of two emotions:

Thrilling excitement.

And.

Fiery rage.

Both wild, both reckless, and both born from the seed planted into who she used to be, who she was expected to be, and who she believed herself to be. But just a child to him and she was so much more bitter and cynical than any of them ever could be. Back then, at least. Now she was...what, absolutely clueless? Not really. She was more just in a temporary lapse where the memories waited below the surface to be triggered by the slightest of clues and explode into her mind all at once.

Giles was not the only one who was slightly terrified at the thought.

God knows **what** kind of memories Faith would have to relive.

He sighed, plucking his spectacles from his face and rubbing a bit above the bridge of his nose. It was time to tell her the story, whether it was the correct time or place to begin, he wasn't sure, but he was going to tell the story that unraveled when **he** first met Faith. Who else knew what he was feeling other than himself?

"I cannot speak for the others, therefore I will speak only on my behalf." He paused for a moment to let her sink it in.

This was only one perspective, and there was more to come after his.

"I first met you at the Sunnydale High School Library, where Buffy escorted you in and introduced you to myself. You explained that you were here while your Watcher (which is what we call the people whose jobs is to train and guide the Slayers) was on a Watcher's Council back in England."

"So you weren't my, um...Watcher person?" She asked curiously.

"No, I was never quite your Watcher, though I suppose if I had been smart enough, I would've been."

"Oh."

Oh, indeed.

He sighed again. Perhaps she would understand what he meant after he told the rest of the story.

"For a bit everybody thought of you as an extra help. Another resource if and when we needed it. I don't think we properly thought it through at all. When we should've welcomed you with open arms, we rather held you at a distance, which in turn isolated you further and further into the embraceable corners of the darkness..."

Giles continued on slowly and cautiously, making sure not to miss any details about her personality, patrolling with Buffy (whom he explained was another Slayer), what she kept hidden about her Watcher, Kakistos, their intricate Slayer connection, the harpy of a woman Gwendolyn Post, the sudden loss of all trust because of Buffy's trysts with Angel (Faith quirked an eyebrow at this), the continuously chilling isolation, the unusual run-in with Xander, the arrival of Wesley (who did a piss poor job of understanding how to treat his Slayer), the separation between Faith and the others but her consistent connection with Buffy, the recklessness that suddenly seemed to absorb into Buffy's personality, the Illuminatus and their fat leader, the apparent adrenaline rush, Allan Finch (her hands twitched), the lie and his discussion with Buffy, Xander's near death, Angel's interference, Wesley ("the bloody ponce," he scoffed) and his tweedy group of Council pigs, her escape, her running away, saving Buffy, betrayal and joining the Mayor (who - Giles explained - **did** truly seem to love her), the capture of Willow, the professor, the poison arrow (Faith's hands twitched again), Buffy's intention to kill her, Faith's coma, the Slayer dream that Buffy had, graduation, Faith's eventual wake-up, the vow of revenge, the bodyswap, the church, the running away, L.A. and her first commission to kill Angel (he told her sheepishly that he didn't have any full details about that), Council assassins, her confession, prison, and now here.

All the while there were moments where the light in her eyes went bright or died down, and the occasional glaze that somewhat made him feel queasy inside.

Bits and pieces of the puzzle were fitting into the blank spaces, but with only perspective; they were bound to be blurry. But at least they were there.

"I killed him on accident. Finch. I didn't know he was a vamp until he wasn't dusting away...is that right? It **was** an accident?" She inquired, needing the answer. Needing it for some part of her to be laid to rest.

Giles had the privilege of nodding and relieving her.

"Yes, my dear. Buffy somewhat explained it in her hurried speech, but I got the gist of it."

This time it was Faith who let out a very very small sigh. Then it turned into a quick, drawn breath as she looked up sharply.

"Why didn't Buffy stop me? Isn't she technically stronger than I am? I mean, we were together weren't we? What happened that fast that it was too late to actually stop me? How the hell-"

"I don't know-"

"Of course you don't. Only person that knows is Blondie and me, and I can't remember what I know!" She spoke heatedly, the flush creeping up her cheeks.

_Why is she so angry? Was it not she who snitched on Buffy?_

Giles was certainly somewhat confused.

"What ever is the matter, Faith? You're getting so worked up over the past-"

"Because there's something **wrong** with that story! Something just not right, and I can feel it! There's something that happened that nobody ever knew about or talked about or even **thought** about, but there's something...I don't know what it is...I have to remember what it was..." She trailed off, eyes closed and jaw set.

"Faith...?"

Her shoulders relaxed a little bit, and she opened one eye.

Still brown.

"Thank you for telling me your...**my** story. Can you tell Angel I just need a little time to process this?" She said politely, almost shyly when she asked.

"Yes of course." He replied assuringly.

She flashed a tight smile and closed her eye again.

"Thanks, G."


	19. Chapter 19

**Yes, I realize this is taking longer than I thought it would. You know...school and whatnot. I do apologize. I promise, however, that I have not forgotten you or this story, so please continue to review! **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Giles? Are you okay? You were in there for a while..."

He seemed to be a bit disoriented, but it was somewhat difficult to truly tell what he was feeling. There was a look upon his face that bordered between incredulity, concern, and empathy. With that, he ignored the question and asked another.

"How are we doing with the spell...Willow?"

Willow licked her dry lips as she revealed an apologetic smile from the table where books were temporarily scattered amongst them.

"In the couple hours that you were inside? Not very much."

He sighed.

"I figured as much."

"Well of course you did. The last true exorcism - and I hardly mean the laughable ones performed "in the name of God" by the Church - almost ended in absolute catastrophe. They got lucky because of the quick thinking done by the 7 year old scullery maid. If I didn't know better, I'd say that human children are much more palpable to these kind of situa-"

"Anya, do shut up."

They all (even Anya was fazed) glanced at him in surprise. Giles was usually much too proper to be so commanding; even as the oldest in human form and the seeming lead and Watcher.

Something must've happened, but what?

"Was everything okay?" Angel asked, broody brows furrowing even deeper.

There was a slight glaze over his eyes as he spoke.

"She is much more intelligent than we'd ever given her credit for." He said, almost to himself rather than to the others. Then he shook himself out of it.

"It really is quite interesting. Lailo seems to have a sort of bond with Faith that isn't as controlling as we first believed. It's as if Lailo is acting **as** the protective barrier over Faith. Strange, but rather unheard of. What I want to know is why. What is her motive? Who is she? Anya-"

Anya humphed and glared at the address.

He sighed.

"Yes, yes, I know I told you to shut up, and I do apologize. However, you've known Lailo the longest and much better than any of us seem to. If you would tell us everything you know about her..."

Anya pursed her lips and then took a deep breath, finally giving a little shrug before she spoke.

"Lailo is **much** older than I am. Possibly by one or two thousand years. From what I know of her, her only motive is to do what she has been made to do. She was made to unleash vengeance, trigger memories, to bring out that one side of someone that they are the most afraid of. But normally vengeance demons - and I **am** speaking through centuries of experience - don't go out of their way to sympathize or even care at all about their humans. Using our powers - for all creatures with supernatural benefits - **is** the most satisfying, as I'm sure Buffy would agree." Anya said, looking unabashedly and pointedly at a stern-faced Buffy.

"The difference between what we call the bad and what we call the good is that the bad follow their preternatural instincts. It's like the instinct that tells you to eat, to sleep, to have multiple orgasms at once, all those things. For a vampire like Angel or Spike, the most primary instinct is to drink blood. For a witch, to use magic, no matter if it's clean or black. For a Slayer, to slay, not just vampires or demons, but **anything** in her way. There's no preferences in instincts; whatever one needs to survive and that's it." Anya pointed out honestly, her often unnerving sense of unbiased genuity coming out in full swing.

Sometimes it was what they all needed to keep themselves in check.

"Wait, what are you trying to say?" Buffy asked, Willow also wondering the same thing.

"That I don't know Lailo's motives." Anya replied promptly, returning to the cup of coffee in her hand.

There was a pause; a moment for all of them to think. To go over everything.

"W-what you said before...th-that explains a-a lot." Tara spoke quietly in the heavy silence, her normally shy and timid voice feeling large; filling up the void amongst them.

"F-faith didn't have m-much c-control when I first met her a-at the Bronze; ev-everything she did was out of in-instincts. Th-that was the only way sh-she knew how to su-survive." The quiet and calm blonde explained, averting her eyes when the others' bore into hers.

"Yea, but that doesn't excuse-"

"Oh for crying out loud, Willow! For someone who's flayed a man alive - well now he's dead, but he **was** alive before - and has had her friends forgive her right off the bat, you're being ridiculously unforgiving." Cordelia threw her hands slightly in the air (dramatically, of course) in exasperation before letting them rest on her hips sassily.

Willow's face turned defiant as she defended herself indignantly.

"I'm not saying that she's bad, I was just saying she made some horrible choices-"

Cordelia rolled her eyes and flicked her wrist in a dismissive action.

"Blah blah blah, can we get to this after we get that white-haired creep out of Faith?"

Angel shot her a look of disapproval - which she blatantly ignored - and turned to Giles, using his back as a barrier between them and the others; who were still in a bit of a disagreement over nothing.

"How was she? I saw your wrist." The dark-haired vampire asked in a low voice, searching for answers.

Giles sighed and pulled off his glasses to clean the seemingly spotless lenses.

"There was a moment, when I almost thought Lailo would overpower her, but Faith broke through it. Remarkable girl, really."

Angel let out a breath of slight relief.

"Yea. More than that. But did she seem alright at the end?"

"That's the very thing of the matter. I told her everything, from beginning to end of the story I had from my perspective of her and her time at Sunnydale. But she kept insisting that there was something wrong with the story. That there was something that nobody knew-"

"Except for her and Buffy." Angel finished.

Giles nodded.

"Precisely. But I've already gotten the story from Buffy. Certainly the whole thing was a horrid mistake, but-"

"But it was Faith who paid for it."

They both turned to see none other than Cordelia Chase.

* * *

"Angel, this is a bad idea."

"Cordy-"

"No! I don't like it at all. How can you really trust that they're not going to attack her while she's down?" Cordelia was fatigued.

With worry, with concern, with bitterness, with caution, with suspicion, with all those things.

"They can help her. If we all just work together-"

"But I can't trust that they will!"

Angel sighed. He understood her, but it wasn't up to Cordelia. It wasn't even up to him. It was up to what was right and what needed to be done for the good of the world, and that was to help Faith so that she could - in turn - help others. Besides, it was time for all the open, festering wounds to scab over; to heal. All the bad blood lost and spilt between Faith and the Scooby gang - no matter **whose** fault it was - had to be cleansed. Faith didn't need enemies. Not now. Faith needed friends. Faith needed acceptance and forgiveness and open arms. All the things he was sure she never had before.

More than all of that, Faith needed love.

For what kind of a faith could exist without it?

"I...I think I'll be next."

It was Xander who had spoken, biting his lip nervously, almost boyishly. He wasn't completely terrified (or maybe he just wouldn't admit it) but he wasn't feeling too sure. But Xander is a kind soul, and wasn't one to hold grudges as closely as his friends might. In some strange way, he could understand Faith's past bitterness. Her isolation, her wild habits. He remembered the dream and just how beautiful she was. How beautiful she could be.

How was it that they'd missed what was so clear in front of them?

Naivety ruined any trust between their friendship. Mistrust ruined all of the ties.

He could remember that one night when he met her alone at the club playing pool. The night she remarked - almost nonchalantly - that she knew what they were talking about behind her back. Without her. Just them and their little group of friends that **didn't** include her. Even though it should've.

Then the look on her face when he told her about Angel.

Everything was gone.

The trust, the hope, that slight bit of happiness that could've been hers...

Snatched and taken away from her like it always had been.

She did say she was used to it, once; didn't she?


	20. Chapter 20

**Ah, here we are!**

**Slowly things are starting to get very busy, and I'm sorry if this takes longer than usual, and if they're getting shorter. I'll try to make the next one longer, but that means you'll have to wait...a little longer. Up to you! **

**Enjoy and please do review. **

* * *

"I mean, it's not that I don't want you to come in a save me if she goes all crazy again. Please, feel free to rush and get me; I'm not embarrassed of being saved by super-strong girls from a super-scary girl!" Xander rambled nervously.

"So much for being manly man." Willow poked some fun, knowing that no matter how much smiles she had on, she was just as nervous (probably more) as he was about talking to Faith.

"Har har." Xander replied with an eye-roll.

Pause.

"So I guess I should go in?" He asked casually, eyeing the door cautiously, wondering if this was at all a good idea.

"Give it a few more minutes, Xander. I believe Faith asked for a bit of time to process what I have discussed with her." Giles responded.

Xander nodded and looked ever so the calm fellow ready to have a dedicated and focused conversation with a colleague, though inwardly he felt somewhat like a helpless man, stripped naked, ready to be thrown into a colosseum with a dangerously criminal wolf with the thirst for a kill or two. But he had to remind himself that the wolf had been neutralized, has been for a while now, and the threat was now just the demoness who held the power of **that** particular wolf in her hands.

It was all a bit much.

He could feel his hands sweating as the seconds - no, the minutes - ticked by, while the others discussed methods rather, methodically, and some grumbled. Mainly Cordelia, which, Xander could not quite grasp. He wasn't particularly bright when it came to academia or just understanding some of the things that Giles spouted during one of his very British lectures, but he was pretty decent at reading people. That is, when he ever payed attention, which hadn't been too often in the past; he was usually busy watching the girls - either in a protective, brotherly way, or in that...embarrassingly male kind of way.

But the point of this thought was:

Since when did Cordelia care about Faith?

Or even more so,

Since when did Cordelia Chase ever care about anyone other than herself so...openly?

It was almost hostile, the way she glared at them. In the past, sure, she was harsh and could be brutal in some cases, but most of the time she was just being the rich brat they all came to - not quite love, but - accept and consider a strange extra to their eccentric little group. But now it was just full of blame and anger and something like guilt that shown in her eyes.

"She never cared about Faith when she first got to Sunnydale."

Xander glanced to his left at Buffy in surprise. He didn't even realize she was narrowing her eyes at the disgruntled Cordelia from across the room. The mutter broke his thoughts and yet created a new one.

Why did Buffy seem so angry about it?

He opened his mouth to respond when he saw Angel coming towards him. His brooding eyes rested on Xander's before he nodded.

"You can go in now."

* * *

Something just wasn't right.

She couldn't really remember, but she could at the same time. And as she meditated, focused, concentrated on that white circle in the center of her mind, she could feel the black pulsating against the insides.

It was tearing at the walls, clawing at it, breaking nails and growing some more, blood filling up the insides so much that the orifices barely stood over the mass. It was so ready to drown, so ready to let go, but it wouldn't. Kicking and screaming, punching and biting and smashing and butting against the white light. She could almost see it through the walls, the black smoky tendrils, the veins creeping up like a contamination.

_That is me._

She thought, surprised.

_That is me. It is who I am on the inside of this amnesiac shell. This white light that keeps me from knowing everything, that protects me...?_

But was it protection?

She wanted to know, so desperately. Every name, every face, every piece of memory given to her was making up the big puzzle, the puzzle that stretched out on a huge wall; the final piece would break open that white core.

And she wanted to know.

_Whoamiwhoamiwhoami?_

It kept ringing in her head, stinging in her palms, tasting ever so bitter on her tongue, and she couldn't remember.

But there were things.

Flashes of things.

Moments of things of things.

A knife.

_The knife that stabbed me._

It was so surreal, the thought didn't hurt her so much, but whenever it flashed in her mind it hurt.

The searing pain and the ache that thudded against her heart, that pounded against her brain, that made the black howl even louder than she could scream...

Knock knock knock.

Creak, and open.

"Um...Faith?"

Open eyes.

"H-hi! Can I...come in?"

* * *

"Hey, yea. Xander, right?"

So she was docile.

Well, maybe docile wasn't the word, but she was calm. Nice. Pleasant.

Friendly.

"Yep! Neighborhood fixer-upper and donut-getter, that's me!" He joked, regretting it as soon as he said it.

It wasn't like she was gonna know. Or remember. Because she wasn't usually there for that. After graduation, Faith wasn't there. She wasn't a present threat, she wasn't anything by that point. She wasn't there for so much. For Anya, for Tara, for Spike, for Dawn...she missed out on so much, and it was kind of strange to even think of her as a threat.

Then again, Angel said she wasn't.

Somehow, though, when they got here, it was almost as though...**they** were the threat. They were the danger, the harbringers of pain, the doomers. When he stopped to think about it, she never actually caused any pain. Except to Buffy.

The rest of them weren't close enough to Faith to be hurt by her betrayal. Even Buffy wasn't close enough to be hurt, but Buffy seemed to be when it happened. So quiet, so brooding, so wanting to help Faith at one point and damning her to hell at another. Always at such a controversy about Faith. Always at such a fucking standstill.

"You don't have to act like Angel for me to like ya."

He shook his head quickly.

"Uh-what?"

Stupid. He was not even paying attention, or even keeping any focus.

_Come on, Xander. Focus here!_

"Said you don't have to act like the big guy for me to like ya. Not feeling the broody right now, ya know?" She said with a grin, motioning towards the chair where Giles had sat before.

He gave her a goofy grin in return. It felt natural.

It should've always felt natural.

"No brooding here, nope! Just lots of things to think about, and stuff." He said casually as he sat.

"Tell me about it, man. Wish I had some Jack D to help chill it out some."

Drinking. Wasn't she a little young for alcohol? She was always at the clubs even back in the day when they were in high school. Always alone, too. Didn't occur to him until now.

"Don't know why I know that. Guess it's just one of those things. Isn't it funny?" She chuckled, not really looking at him, but more at the un-formulaic dots that were on the tiles.

"Can't remember much of anything, but I remember all the bad habits. Smoking, drinking...sex." She flung her hands up accordingly with a defeated smile before shrugging at him.

As a male, he wouldn't particularly call sex a bad habit. Good heavens, it was almost taboo to be calling sex a bad thing at all. Why would anybody...well, he supposed when one reached the level that Faith had reached, it could be considered somewhat unhealthy. Bad, even. It was just...not a good thing to be involved with. He knew firsthand.

"Well, sex, persay isn't what I would call a bad thing-"

"Yea, well, you're a dude. Guys dig sex 24/7. It's a little weirder when a chick likes to fuck a lot." She gave him a look.

"Some people would call her a slut. Or a whore. Or something in that general word bank."

He could explain it, but the way she looked at him...

The way she assumed he was just back for more. The way she didn't trust his words of friendship. The way she knew he was only there because of Buffy...

For Buffy, for the Scooby gang, for the sake of other people, not for her...

The way she just knew.


	21. Chapter 21

**Where did all the reviewers go? (**

**Ah well, I am glad for all the new people who have jumped on this bandwagon. I do hope you enjoy. And please review. It keeps me motivated when I find the time. **

**To all my faithfuls, I am sorry this took so long, I had a few things to fix. Enjoy and review.**

* * *

"I guess I should apologize for choking you out. Giles told me about that. I'm sorry, if I didn't apologize before."

"Oh, right...that...heh." Xander let a grin that ended up looking like a grimace appear on his face. His hand unconsciously moved up towards his neck, rubbing at it as if the experience was just yesterday.

Or five minutes ago.

"I know you were just trying to help; what a bad fucking reaction, yea?" She chuckled nervously.

He dropped his hand quickly. Now wasn't the time for bad memories. It wasn't even time to reminisce on what could've been. It was time to help her. To save her. Faith, because when you thought about it, she was their weakest link. Their worst habits, the trigger that brought out so many horrible things about her, about life, and about them. Without faith, there really was nothing you could base anything they did upon. They had so much faith. Always had so much stupid, human faith, but they never had Faith. Never had much need for her, or so they thought. Never cared as much as they could have, shoved her away from their tightly knit group, hurt her, and in turn they helped create who she became. What she became.

A monster.

"It was probably the **only** reaction." He replied.

She gave him a look.

"Hi, I want to help you...hey, I'm going to kill you?" She returned wryly, smile gracing her features.

_Pretty..._

"Yea, I think not. I mean yea, maybe you guys iced me out but it's not like it was a good reason to-"

"You thought I was back for more! Like I was just some dog of a guy, which I'm not, but there must've a reason you reacted like that; you almost acted like a resentful..." Xander burst quickly and trailed off, not wanting to finish the word on the tip of his tongue, surprising Faith mid-apologetic speech. That word, something they all thought of her, but something he should've realized...

It was as if it was drilled into her head that that's what she was supposed to do.

"...whore..." He finished softly.

Click.

Images flooded her brain, hands flying up to her head, clamped over her ears, breathing quickening, pacing forward, pacing faster, a broken record finally screeching to a stop and being replaced by something new, something with a heavy, thudding, beat.

Thud.

_"Useless, fucking whore...!"_

Thud.

_"Why are you even protecting that dumb whore?!"_

Thud.

_"Man, I think she's dead!"_

_"Shit! Fucking...You talk about this to anyone, I swear-"_

_"I know, I know!"_

_"Doesn't matter anyway. She was just another worthless who-."_

"NO!"

Her hands gripped his shoulders like a vice, so fast, he didn't see it coming. That frantic look in her eyes, the fear, the pain, the anger...

_Oh no..._

His turn.

In a flash her eyes were as white as snow with snakes of red dancing about the plains, crinkled - surprisingly - not with glee as he expected but with increasing sorrow. Increasing anger and rage and so much bitterness. She was up and out of the bed faster than he could blink and he could feel her hands seizing at him with deathly strength.

"I am **not** a whore, you fucking bastard! You can't hurt me, you can't use me anymore. I've got power you couldn't even imagine!" She shouted.

"You hear me?! I am not anyone's fucking toy anymore!" She screamed; he could feel a bit of spittle on his skin, but it didn't make him grin goofily, didn't make him think 'EW' in his thoughts, just fear and panic.

She shoved him - no, **tossed** him - toward the door with a bang and he slid down like a rag doll, still conscious. He scrambled up, body aching, but he still needed to talk to her. Still had things to say. So many things to tell her, so many words that needed to be passed between the two of them, even as he heard the others coming through in a hurry.

"Xander, step back!" Buffy.

_No. We can't antagonize her now. Can't make her the enemy. She __**isn't**__ the enemy._

They **made** her the enemy.

"Yea, Xander, might want to get away from the psycho, hm?"

Xander Harris had a tendency to be able to observe simple things that others might miss.

Her hands were still clenched.

There was a drop of sweat rolling down her left temple, on the other side of where they could see her.

Where they were edging closer, Buffy at the lead.

He held up his hand without even looking.

"No, I'm fine."

Both parties were surprised.

Buffy frowned. They all did.

But she just twitched.

For a second there, her breath even hitched.

So slight.

They were looking for hostility, he was looking for her doubt. Her confusion. Her fear. Her pain. All of it.

It wasn't too hard.

"Faith." He started, clearing his voice on the way.

Eyes flickered.

Was it Lailo, or was it the Faith that remembered? The Faith that hated?

If it was Faith, why was she holding back?

"Faith." He repeated, stepping closer.

Eyes flashed. Hands were brought up in almost fists, right foot moved back in fighting stance.

"No, listen. You're not..." He licked his lips nervously, reaching one hand out, reaching to touch her gently, just to show her...

"Don't. Touch. Me."

He didn't pull away, she did.

Vengeful Faith pulled away. What did that mean?

"I'm sorry...I really...you're not, you're not a..."

God, he hated that word.

And everybody standing there in the open, watching, listening...

_You're not a whore._

"I'm not...**what**?" She growled.

Good? Perfect? Buffy?

She already knew that.

"You're not a whore." He said out loud.

Firmly.

There was a choke as she took in a breath heavily, and he saw it, the raw, bitter fear of being nothing more than that and a killer. Even behind the white. Behind the crazed, seemingly resentful eyes, it was hard to miss if you caught that one nanosecond of a glimpse, which he did. But the others probably missed. Might've missed it, but that breath. That intake. That choke in the throat, in the diaphragm.

Then it was gone.

"You are doing very well, human."

Lailo was back.

* * *

"Why won't you let her alone? Why can't you just leave?" He was shouting, and he normally never shouted.

This was a different scenario, and this was a completely different person. Demon. Being. Whatever.

"She is a good person."

What a strange thing to say. How completely out of the blue! Sure, most of them could accept that Faith could change, that she **did** change, that she was on her way back to being the track of goodness and redemption and whatnot. But Faith...just...good?

"What?" Willow voiced out loud.

Lailo rolled her eyes and sat herself - well, Faith, literally - back on the bed.

"Well of course you'd be the first to be skeptical." She responded sarcastically.

"That's not the issue. **Why** aren't you just leaving her be? If she's such a good fucking person, can't you find someone else to possess or whatever?" Xander was frustrated. He was getting somewhere, he was so close to breaking at least **something**...

"I could. I could let her memories return and have you turn around and go back to your lives over the hellmouth. Give Angelus and Cordelia a wonderful front-row seats to her eventual and soon-to-be death." Lailo said calmly, rationally, yet so coldly one would have a hard time not believing what she said was true.

Well, other than the fact that it **was** true.

"What do you mean?" Angel stepped up to the plate, concerned. Worried. Faith was like his ward, his sister, his little girl...

The demoness sighed, leaning back into the cushions, wondering all along why in the world she even cared, but knowing a demon's instinct is her best tool. Her best friend. And instinct told her to stay, to help, to protect, to solve this before something worse could happen. She was no fortune teller, but-

"Sometime in the future, there will be a war that will rage between good and evil. A war that could determine the fate of all our insignificant yet ever so precious lives, and she will be a crucial factor. Not you-" She looked at Angel.

"Nor you-" She looked at Willow.

"Not even you." Her gaze rested on Buffy.

"This girl, this body that holds such fragile memories, all of which she doesn't remember; she is important."

Buffy opened her mouth to speak.

"For the sake of good." Lailo interrupted.

Silence always came before the noise.

"What?"

"That's not even-"

"You can't be serious-"

"Faith isn't-"

"Why is-"

"You are-"

"She is-"

"There can't-"

"What?"

Silence again.

"That is all I can say."

Noise. But this time more of an angry descent of indignance.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? You can tell us that much but you can't tell us any more than-"

"That is all I know. I am no oracle, my wisdom comes from instinct alone; Anyanka can tell you the importance of that." Lailo said tersely, nodding her head pointedly towards Anya before gazing once again at everyone all together.

"She is important to all of us; I am a neutral being, because my work is not necessarily good nor is it evil-"

"Coulda fooled me." Buffy muttered, receiving a brief glare from the demoness.

"-therefore, I will help her."

Xander wasn't the only one not getting it.

"How is this helping her? You're letting her remember all the hate-"

"If I were still doing my job, human, you would not be alive." She responded knowingly.

It was the truth. Faith's thoughts, what Giles had said, the way the group seemed to be reacting towards Faith's predicament; Lailo decided to take a moment to reassess. Certainly they could help this girl? They still did not understand what was wrong with her, and Lailo would have to explain, but all in all she was allowing bits and parts of other moments to be released along with the hatred. Something to dull down the madness, the voices that reminded her to take a deep breath, or at least to listen.

And in all honesty, the human boy, Xander, he had done well. He had been thoughtful, honest, sincere...it was rare for one to hold such qualities. The elder man had also been as genuine, but his memories, his relations to Faith were limited and not quite as personal as the others might have been. He could see past the past, he could understand; clearly, he had done some thinking.

If there was one thing she was worried about, it was the Slayer. Certainly the witch was trouble as well, but a deeper connection lay between the slayers. A deeper bond that had been severed intensely, too hard, too long ago. And the strange twist in the raging feelings within the darker one...a single wrong word from the blonde and things could go dangerously wrong.

"So..." Buffy seemed to be struggling with words, although she asked the question that everybody wanted the answer to.

"What's wrong with her?"


	22. Chapter 22

**I know, I know. It took FOREVER, and it's really fucking short. But it's here, I'm still alive and working on it, and there's just been so much going on, so that's my...pitiful excuse. I apologize profusely, and I also thank those of you who have been faithful (no pun intended - maybe a little) to this story. **

**Enjoy and please review!**

* * *

"I cannot control her. There are bits of her that override even my powers; the will of man has always been a powerful thing." Lailo started, hands resting gently on her - Faith's - lap.

Angel's brows furrowed concernedly.

"What do you mean?"

Sighing, the demoness pursed her lips, as if thinking of what to say next.

"Her memories are so deep and so dark, that if one of you triggers them, it'll spark a chain of more memories."

"Like a domino effect." Giles interjected smartly.

"Somewhat. Except there's a level of control she has that I do not. Some part of her has managed to grasp onto the reality that her emotions are absolutely chaotic and is trying to recover itself."

"But then why is it so wrong to just let her remember her memories on her own? I mean, it's safe now, isn't it?"

"No. Letting her return to the state she was in would only spark the spiral further down."

"Why?"

"She's given up."

Silence.

"That's it?" Cordelia burst out in incredulity, throwing out her arms.

"She's been getting worse before the amnesia and all you can tell us is that she's given up? You can't even tell us how she got the concussion, or why she'd been acting so out of her mind, but you're just gonna give us, 'She's given up'?!"

Lailo's eyebrow - in technicality, it was Faith's - raised somewhat amusedly.

"It is a spiritual suicide that she is committing. If there is no will, there is no life. And this girl; she has no will."

Tara let out a slight gasp.

"Th-the fracture!"

Lailo nodded.

"You see how it deteriorates her health? The Faith you know is deeply tainted by what has happened and she doesn't believe she can change it." She turned her gaze to Angel.

"She doesn't really believe she can redeem herself."

"But she was doing fine, she was doing so well..." Angel trailed off, his stoic expression giving off the slight hint of distress. It was odd for them to see it; so used to seeing nothing past the mask.

Like Faith.

Giles cleared his throat.

"What can we do?"

"She hasn't forgiven herself. She can't."

"Why-"

"There's one thing that is necessary for her to have in order to be able to forgive herself, is your forgiveness."

Pause.

"What?"

Buffy's heart picked up pace and slowed down again; it was like somebody was asking her to shove a nail through her hands and call herself Jesus (sometimes it felt like that anyway) and it wasn't flowing with her wants at all. Helping Faith, assisting Faith, being here at all was difficult for her. It made her heart clench and her mind go into overload. To be asked to even **consider** forgiving her...it was almost too much.

"I can't." She said softly.

"Buffy-"

"No." She shook her head, eyes avoiding Lailo's (but she was thinking Faith) and the others'.

"I just...I need some time."

"Buffy, she doesn't **have** time." Tara replied gently, without her stutter for the first time.

There.

That freezing and burning of the mind, the thoughts, the memories flooding her head like a massive wave. Remembering all the angry, harsh, bitter words, remembering all the hate, recalling all the times they **wanted**...

"I don't know if I can."

Lailo forced her gaze upon Buffy's.

"Then she has no chance at all. You might as well kill her now, and save her the pain of her own willed death. For once I leave the body..." Lailo made a shrugging gesture.

"...her memories return, and her heart will stay broken."

* * *

So much pressure.

Too much.

Buffy didn't know what to do with all the pressure. It was almost like she couldn't even breathe. It hurt to even think about-

"It's your turn now." Cordelia's cold and sarcastic voice infiltrated into her head.

Has half the day gone by already?

Did Faith really go through talking to Wesley, Tara, Anya, Spike, Dawn, Willow, and Cordelia?

Most of those hours went to to the two witches, Dawn, and Cordelia, and now it was time for her to walk on in and have her time with Faith.

Honest to the Powers themselves, she was nervous as all hell.

She didn't **want** to see Faith, much less talk to her; it made her antsy and it most definitely felt like pins prickling against her skin.

"Right." She replied quickly, pretending to look as calm as ever.

They had decided earlier that they would prefer to talk to the less violent, the amnesiac Faith; perhaps in order to redeem her memories in a more optimistic light. If they could. Besides, Willow had made it very clear that she did not want to particularly speak to the Faith who may or may not be a threat to both themselves and the others. It was just the safer choice to let it be.

Lailo, of course, agreed.

"I can't promise much; her will is strong." She warned.

They already understood.

Wesley had gone next, and he kept his time short and simple, going over it all, as hard as it was for him to control his emotions. It wasn't like she didn't see it immediately, however, the tearing battle between resentment and guilt apparent upon his now-rugged face. She called him out on it immediately.

"You can't help me remember anything if you keep pretending nothing's wrong." She spoke bluntly. And when he flustered, she took the intensity of her stare down a couple notches.

"Sparing me the details of your connection to me, bad or good, won't help any of us. Tell me what you want, I won't hold it against you too much." She said gently.

And so he did.

Needless to say, Wesley walked out of the room, tears streaming down his face.

Anya went after him, loudly exclaiming that the flimsy material of the hospital coffee cups were ridiculous and that she didn't understand why the security wouldn't let her near the cup dispenser just because she was "trying to prove a point".

That was a far more interesting conversation, full of strange literal comments and amused jokes made at the ex-demon's expense; though she hardly even noticed that it was.

It was a shortened conversation, but she came out with her hand on her chin contemplatively, stating suddenly,

"She's very beautiful, Xander. I can see why you wanted her."

Xander flushed, Willow coughed, and though only a few pairs of eyes noticed it, Buffy darkened.

"Suppose I'll go next." Spike stated casually, pushing himself up from his chair.

"Cause you know her **so** well." Buffy muttered sarcastically, desperately trying to hide her anxiety. He just shot her an amused look before waltzing in.

She wanted to wipe that toothy smile right off of his pale and gaunt face.


	23. Chapter 23

**I know, it's moving along much too slow, but I promise that at the least, I haven't forgotten about it. **

**Enjoy and review.**

* * *

He had to hand it to her. The other Slayer sure knew how to keep herself under control.

As soon as he walked in, he could see the way her muscles tensed. The way her body reacted to his presence; to the feel of the undead tingling underneath her skin.

Oh, she wanted to kill him; he could see it confusing the hell out of her.

It's not like she knew what he was.

At least, not for certain.

"Hello, love. Looking a little tense there, aren't you?" He remarked jovially, pulling up a chair to the foot of her bed and straddling it backwards.

As relaxed as she looked, her eyes watched his every move warily. She seemed rather sharp.

Good.

In a flash he jumped up, making a quick snap of his arm to hit her across the side of the head.

His arm never made it that far.

Within a few seconds of his sudden move, Faith had him up against the side of the wall with a hospital fork at his throat, upstanding equipment and chairs scattered in their wake behind her. The sheets were thrown haphazardly, draping part of the bed, her IV stand and the floor, and they could hear the rushing in of people through the door.

"What the hell...?"

Spike grinned while looking into the girl's eyes.

She was a sharp one alright.

"I like this one alright, Angel. Didn't even see you snabbing that fork!" He smirked.

"Faith, let him go." Came in Buffy's voice, firm and strangely gentle.

Faith twitched but didn't let go. Fork still pressing up against his flesh tightly, she turned her head, eyes flashing with suspicion.

"What the fuck is this?"

"Faith-"

"What kind of crap are you trying to pull on me? Huh? Think it's funny, playing games on the amnesiac?" Her voice rose by the end, and drops of blood appeared at the bleach blond vampire's throat.

"Calm down, love, I was just tryi-" His words were cut off as her face whipped around to push up near his menacingly.

"Trying to what? Trying to fucking attack me, is that it? I knew there was something off about you, you fucking pale-ass motherfu-"

"Faith." Angel's voice.

She turned to look at him, and his face was solemn.

"Let him go. We'll make him leave the room."

Spike began to protest.

"Now wait a bloody minute, I was just pulling a test to see-"

"You've done quite enough, Spike." Giles interrupted, his already formed dislike for the vampire increasing as the seconds went on.

"Listen here, Rupert. I wanted to see if this Slayer was really up to par with the bullshit we're dealing with. I think this here's the proof that she can, and I'm glad of it."

"Oh fuck you, you had no right." Xander growled.

"And you had the right to call her a whore, did you?" Spike retorted just as angrily.

"That's a completely diff-"

"-erent approach to the bloody situation? You're damn right it is, so get the fuck over it!"

"You know what, you..." Xander moved towards them uncharacteristically violently, struggling while Willow and Dawn grabbed onto him in order to keep him from getting loose.

They were all feeling a bit high strung anyway.

They were all also surprised to see Faith let go of Spike with a grunt. Gripping him by the collar of his shirt, she just thrust him roughly aside and he stumbled to catch his balance as she turned to face them. Her hands were clenched, the handle of the fork crumpling underneath mere strength alone. She hung her head slightly low, but her eyes looked up, piercing into them harshly.

"I know you guys know more than you're letting on. Don't fucking think I can't see past the bullshit, so you better start being honest with me and stop, playing, these **fucking** mind games." Her voice was deeper and huskier than that was natural of Faith, and it was pretty clear she meant business.

She was tired of not **knowing**.

Little did she know, so were they.

Clearing her throat, she stood up a little straighter and nodded her head sideways towards Spike, who was rubbing at his neck gingerly.

"What the hell is Bleachboy over here?"

"A vampire." Buffy responded immediately.

"A...vampire." Faith repeated slowly, as if trying to grasp the idea into her head.

"With the blood-sucking and fangs alike, pet." Spike grinned good-naturedly, as if forgetting the events of just five minutes ago. When Faith glanced back in disbelief, he grinned even wider before morphing his face into characteristic disfigurement.

Her eyebrows went up slightly, but that was the only hint of surprise at his transformation.

"Well. Good to know. Angel, too, then?" She asked, turning to face the taller, broodier vampire.

"Yes." Angel nodded solemnly.

"Could tell. Guess familiarity helps dull it down some, yea?" She laughed somewhat bitterly.

"Not that I remember."

Silence.

"Faith-"

"So that antsy feeling I had when he walked in the room...kind of a radar or something?" She interrupted Angel's attempt to speak.

"Or something." Buffy muttered in response, strong fingers massaging her temples delicately.

"It's a bit hard to comprehend at the moment, but trust me, Faith, we'll be able to fix all of this before..." Giles trailed off, realizing his slight mistake of words. He flustered a bit before continuing.

"Before long."

Her lips tightened and pursed, and the way her eyes squinted ever so slightly was the indication of disbelief, but she said nothing more on the subject. Instead, she asked another difficult question, one they didn't know quite how to answer.

"What, exactly, is wrong with me?"

There was, of course, more flustering.

"Ah, well, you see-"

"We're not exactly sure, either." Willow interrupted.

With a groan of frustration Faith threw her fork across the room, not waiting to hear it smash against the wall before yelling,

"You fucking liars!"

"We're not-"

"Don't say that." Faith turned and got right up into their faces, so close they could feel the frustration radiating from her skin.

"How can you look me in the fucking eye, and tell me that you don't know?" She asked, dangerously low-key, and with an intensity they couldn't tear away from.

"Faith, we have no idea what's wrong."

It was Angel who spoke up, Angel who had to speak the lie, Angel who had to do it for the sake of saving her.

It hurt him.

Mostly because she trusted him.

Faith closed her eyes and sighed. Her shoulders relaxed slightly, a sign of surrender. Of defeat.

"Okay."

Angel gave a nod then, while taking firm hold of Spike's jacket and pulling him out of the room as the others filed out behind him. Giving him a shove, Angel's face turned fierce and he looked ready to explode.

"What the fuck were you doing in there? I specifically said not to cause any trouble!"

"And how's that supposed to help? She's a fucking Slayer, mate; she **needs** to be physically provoked!"

"You should've come to me first."

"Oh so you're her fucking keeper, is that it?"

The wind got knocked out of him as Angel gripped him by the collar and smashed him up against a wall.

"I'm the only one she has to protect her and help her, and you sure as hell better believe I'm gonna do it to the best of my ability. So **don't** fuck around, and **don't** you **ever** do anything that stupid again." He growled menacingly, face distorted into that of a vampire before dropping his predecessor to the floor and turning around to face the others.

"That goes for all of you, too. Faith needs to learn to trust us, and more importantly, to trust herself, and if you pull some stupid shit like **that**, it won't happen. So be mindful of what you do around her." He said calmly before pausing.

Then after a few moments, his eyes met Tara's.

"You're next."


	24. Chapter 24

**Hello, hello! I do realize these updates take quite a bit of time, but I promise you that I haven't forgotten it. I do intend to finish this, and I have other fanfics on the way. So please, continue to read it and review. **

**Enjoy and please review!**

* * *

She wasn't sure how much she really liked the quiet.

No less than the one stuck inside it.

"So."

The voice startled her slightly, but the low chuckle at her spastic little jump made her blush more.

Faith sat up, cracking her neck in the process, and nodding a physical greeting towards her visitor.

"What are you?"

No malice. Just a question.

"I-I'm a-a w-witch." Tara replied softly.

The dark Slayer grinned. She couldn't help it.

A stammering witch.

How quaint.

How cute.

"You always so cute?"

Deeper blush.

"I-I...I-"

"Yea, I guess you are." Faith interrupted with a dazzling smile, motioning towards the chair beside her bed.

Tara complied, somewhat embarrassed.

It seemed Faith was used to embarrassing people, whether she meant it to be harmful or not; she liked to humor any solemnity away. Or to fight it away, or to run away, or to fuck, drink, smoke it all away.

No matter which way she turned, it was a defense mechanism.

From what, though?

Oh goody. More silence.

"What's your name?"

"Oh! S-s-sorry, I t-tend to f-forget, I...I..." Tara stopped, took a deep breath, then blushing, started over.

"I'm T-t-tara."

"Well it's nice to meet you, Tara. Again."

"O-only technic-c-cally." Tara responded with a small smile.

Faith grinned and crossed her ankles, folding her arms across her chest casually.

"Right. Guess I did my share of hurting on you, too, huh? Sorry 'bout that."

It was said in such a manner so blase that if Tara was not an empath, it would've been difficult for her to see the true apologetic nature of Faith's words. As always, it was all hidden behind the attitude. Tara sadly wondered what had to have happened to inculcate all that hardness and defensiveness into a single body, a single soul, a single young woman to the extent that it was ever-present; even in an amnesiotic state.

Without waiting for an answer, Faith just continued.

"I don't suppose you hate me, too? You seem to like me well enough." Faith chuckled sadly.

"N-no, I don't h-hate you. I-I-I don't th-think you did a-anything w-wrong." Tara responded quickly, and gently.

Faith shot her a disbelieving look, which Tara accepted. She knew those words were almost too decisive for anyone to believe, but Tara herself believed it.

Well, in a different light.

Certainly Faith **had** done wrong things, things that should, could, would, and **were** condemned in her face. Things that deserved upbraiding, deserved a stern 'talking-to'. Other things that just deserved punishment.

But there were just so many factors that had to be taken into consideration.

1. The level at which standards were set.

Tara always found it a little silly that the Scoobies were prone to their own horrible mistakes that could be forgiven. Why wasn't Faith allowed that standard? They were allowed endless mistakes, while Faith...she wasn't allowed one.

2. The surrounding environment.

Dare she mention the strangely unethical way the others had gone about living their lives in the wake of Faith's unfortunate situations? Tara had seen Faith's apartment, the way Willow and Xander and Buffy and Giles had openly held disdain for Faith...throughout the whole time she was there. Faith had nothing under her name except for that duffel bag of clothes, all of which were made for Slaying, running, or fucking.

3. The personal state of mind.

It was clear enough for anyone with eyes that Faith was troubled. Tara wasn't trying to say Faith was mentally and emotionally ill, but Faith had issues; even Faith knew that. What bothered Tara the most (and probably Faith, too) was the lack of care put into helping the girl out. The lack of concern or thought put into the way Faith lived her life. The lack of anything at all, but the intentional avoidance...all that scorn...it really made no sense.

None of it really made all that much sense.

Sure, Faith wasn't justified.

But neither were they. Not at all.

"I-I mean, th-th-there were r-reasons. For everything." She explained softly in the way Tara was prone to do.

Faith sighed and gently rubbed her neck.

"Yea..."

Pause. Then Faith looked deeply and almost mournfully into Tara's eyes.

"I just wish I could remember them."

* * *

Something was niggling in the back of her mind.

She wasn't sure quite what it was.

It wasn't as painful as it was before, but there it was anyway. The little laughter echoing, the dark shadow at the corner of her eye. It was there, lurking. Waiting.

"F-faith?"

Her eyes snapped back into focus on the concerned looking blonde by her bed.

Tara, was her name.

"Yea. Sorry, I was just..." She trailed off.

What was she just doing?

Daydreaming? Spacing out? Thinking about other things? Or was-

"-s something b-bothering you?"

Again with the concern.

It seemed sincere enough.

She opened her mouth to speak, when the darkness swooped and aimed for its target.

* * *

Tara saw the twitch in the eye before Faith even felt it.

Her legs jumped up before it registered in her mind.

"F-faith?" She repeated cautiously.

Oh those eyes that gleamed with malice.

The Faith of complete and utter vengeance, the one who hated worse than the worst of men could hate.

There were no words, only guttural growls and grunts of constrained fury. The occasional jerk and twist of the limbs and of the body. There was a battle happening right in front of her eyes, and Tara had no idea how to stop it.

Faith was stuck at a standstill on her own hospital bed, so reacting smartly, Tara made to sense her aura. To take a good hard look at the pulsing of the black against the white, the random flash of red...

"Lailo." Tara gasped out, hands beginning to tremble with anxiety.

She could see the demoness struggling to take control again; Faith own destructive power was putting up a battle to be spoken of. Lailo's essence, along with the goodness of Faith's soul were fighting for Faith's sanity, and more importantly, her life.

"Don't just stand there, witch. Do something!" Faith's expression twisted and changed by the purse, the scowl, the smile, the frown, the solemn, the open, the closed of the lips.

The squinting, the gleaming, the glowing, the gentleness, the fierceness, the hatred, the love, the hope, the fear, the openness, the harshness of the eyes.

Do something, Lailo exclaimed in a moment of control.

And do something Tara did.

Murmuring a spell under her breath, she reached for the button on the morphine drip.

_Something to help you relax a bit._

She pressed it once, twice, a third time.

Soon the jerks slowed and Faith's body slumped back and down into the mess of pillows at the head of the bed. Lailo was regaining control and Faith's eyes began to flutter. She opened her mouth as she gazed into Tara's eyes.

"Who the hell am I?"

_Goddess, I wish I knew, too._

"I don't know, Faith. I don't know." She responded gently, without stammer, without feeling anything other than sympathy for this girl before her.

This girl who grit her teeth and shut her eyes before opening them again with anger that flamed with injustice.

"Something, is happening to me." Faith spoke, choosing her words slowly and carefully.

"Y-yes."

"What?"

Tara sighed. Honesty is the best policy, right? Something like that?

It really wasn't in her to lie.


	25. Chapter 25

**Finals have a bad habit of getting in the way, do they not? Sorry for keeping you waiting, I hope this is a nice little treat before we crash and burn. **

**Enjoy and review!**

* * *

She could only tell her so much.

Left out Lailo. Left out the future apocalyptic danger. Just all about Faith.

"So you're saying in my old - **real** - self...the me with the memories..." Faith's nose squinched up in an almost adorable way.

"You saying I'm suicidal?"

Tara couldn't help the small, sad, little smile.

"I-it's not so ph-physical as it is...s-spirit-tual. Th-there's a p-part of you that re-refuses to live." She explained.

Faith groaned loudly and threw up her hands.

"Go figure the psychopathic murderer is a suicidal maniac, too." She frowned.

"Why, though? Nobody's really explained to me why."

"I-"

"Sure, I know what I did. I know all the shit I've pulled to make all of you hate me, but why'd I do them? And why didn't anyone stop me? Why didn't anything...change?"

Why?

What a damn good question.

Tara's quiet, futile answer was this:

"I...I-I d-don't know."

Faith's cold face only got colder. Harsher.

"Course you don't. None of you do." She laughed bitterly.

"Easier to blame and condemn someone who doesn't remember anything at all, huh? It's not like any of the reasons **why** are gonna be remembered. None of the catalysts."

"I-I only kn-know as much as y-you do." Tara gave a half shrug.

It sufficed.

"Yea. Guess that isn't so much, huh? Just a couple of records and the words of people you hardly even recognize. I can't decide whether or not I should just lie down and let myself go or try to get to the bottom of it all."

She paused before bursting again in almost defensively,

"It's not even like they like me, either. I mean, what the fuck is the point of trying to help someone you fucking hate?"

"Th-they don't hate-"

"I know hate when I see it, T." Faith spoke with such insistence that Tara knew arguing would be pointless.

On other note, Tara felt that she could see a slight resemblance of a silver lining the moment Faith called her T. A nickname for the familiarity; perhaps it meant Faith was beginning feel more comfortable. At least around her, which was probably for the best. Tara was always too modest admit or believe the fact that she had always been the kindest. The softest. The gentlest. The sweetest.

And on a stranger note, Tara could see the characteristics of the old Faith stepping up, coming back to reclaim their place. Was that the beginning? Or did it mark the end? She wasn't sure whether or not she should rejoice or be wary. Maybe-

"There's a spell."

She looked up quickly, noting the whites of Faith's eyes.

"A s-spell?"

"To return her memories safely, without allowing her fears and darkness overcome her in her weakened state. You will need, still, to help her once the spell is complete, but at least thereafter it'll be easier to have her forgive herself."

"W-what spell?"

* * *

"Of course! Why didn't I think of that! It must've completely flown over my head..." Giles' voice trailed off as he walked off in search of another book at another table.

Willow pursed her lips.

"I don't know...are you sure it's safe?"

"Well what else do you suggest we do?" Cordelia asked sarcastically.

Ignoring it skillfully, Willow turned to the Scoobs.

"I just want to make sure we really want to do this; I mean...I just don't want Faith-"

"To come back the way she was? For bloody Christ's sake, witch, she's a human, not a defective little toy!" Spike threw up his arms in exasperation.

"I'm not saying she is, I just don't want to do this and have Lailo fuck us over!"

There was a silence that rang, and the tension shot up more than a couple notches at the sound of Willow's curse.

Angel spoke up for the whole, and his eyes told Willow the orders he was giving.

"She won't. And if she does, she's going down farther than I've ever gone."

And that was a lot.

* * *

"Faith?"

One eye opened.

Closed.

There was a smirk.

Then both opened.

"Aren't you a little young to be growing up around this kinda shit?"

Dawn plopped herself down on the chair with a humph.

"Please. You started the whole Slayer thing around my age, I don't see why I shouldn't just be able to see it all happen. Besides-" She rolled her eyes.

"Slayer as a sister? Kinda hard to miss."

Faith's eyebrows rose.

"So, you're Buffy's sister. The one that-"

"The one that doesn't really exist. Yep, that one."

"Huh."

"I know, right?"

"You always so peppy?"

"You always so cynical?"

"Wouldn't know."

"I do."

The banter was the same. The looks of mischief and the big sister-little sister troublemaking duo connection that never really was severed; it was all there. Still hiding underneath the surface of mistakes made.

God, Dawn had missed it.

"So what's your story?"

"My story?"

Faith shrugged.

"Your story, my story, our story. Whatever."

Dawn paused.

Well where was she supposed to start?

At the beginning? No. There really was no beginning. Faith had always been a doomed character from the day she stepped into the club that night. She was bound to the ideals of darkness and mystery. Trapped by the seduction of revenge and anger. Always so full of something nobody could really place, but something she could only express through that anger. Through violence and sex, but that wasn't what Dawn remembered.

What Dawn remembered was that there were other ways Faith was able to be.

Like all the times she'd let Dawn have a sip of scotch or gin or whiskey when Buffy wasn't looking.

Like when she'd take Dawn to go out for some fun times, playing pranks on people or just letting her spill.

Like that one time especially when Faith picked her up when she had an awful day at school and just took her for a long drive around the town without a single word.

Dawn never knew who's car it was, but that day she didn't care. It's not like she ever saw the car again.

Faith might've called her a brat and a squirt, but there never was a time when Dawn didn't feel cared for when it came down to Faith.

But even all those moments combined couldn't compare to all the moments when Faith didn't feel so good.

Couldn't compare to all the nights Dawn saw Faith's eyes go dark, all the times she saw the way Faith would turn and walk away because the whole world seemed to have turned its back on her.

Dawn couldn't blame Buffy for going to take Faith down.

But how could Dawn blame Faith for seeking something that would make her feel alive all the time?

"I told myself I should hate you for it, but what were you supposed to do? Buffy had to take you out, but you had to feel something to be someone, and with them...with us, you didn't feel anything but-"

"Alone." Faith finished for her softly.

Dawn's expression was sorrowful.

"Yea..."

"Fuck..."

Faith sighed.

"Sorry for leaving you behind, kid. Even if I don't remember none of it."

"It's okay, you did what you thought you had to."

Faith sighed a second time.

"Guess I must've."

Dawn stood up.

"Well that's my time." She paused before she reached the door and turned around.

"You know, I missed you. So don't disappear again, okay?"

She never felt so captured by a stare before.

Then again, Faith seemed to have that effect on many people.

"Not going anywhere, Squirt."


	26. Chapter 26

**I know, I know, I take too long. But as I said, I'm not quitting on you lot! Your reviews mean way too much for me to stop now. **

**Anywho, please enjoy and review!**

* * *

"But...I just...the spell, I should...if I could just not..."

"She's got amnesia, Willow, not eboli. It's not that hard."

Willow wrung her hands and looked very nervous.

"But what if she, you know, just decides to remember me all of a sudden and I'm just trapped by fear and things get out of hand? Like, like how it happened with Xander and you know me, freeze queen! I'll end up not knowing what to do and-"

"Honestly, Willow. All of us had a right to be nervous but everything turned out just fine." Giles gave her a look that borderlined reassurance and demanding.

"Well-"

"Willow, just go in and see her, she's not going to eat you." Dawn said, rolling her eyes.

"Though I'm sure she wouldn't mind." Spike sniggered

Willow flushed red and Tara felt an amused smile wanting to take over.

"Tara, get that grin off your face!"

"I-I'm not!"

"You're actually thinking about it?" Buffy asked, on edge and slightly offended.

Tara grinned even more and looked over at her beau.

"S-so is W-willow."

"Wills!"

"No I'm not! I'm not!" Willow insisted, before realizing that nobody believed her. She threw up her hands, frustratedly and walked off.

"Fine, fine, I'll just go visit her and get it over with, since everybody else just seems perfectly fine with..." She droned on.

* * *

"...making fun of me because I like girls, stupid poofaces."

"Uh..."

"Oh, hi Faith!"

Faith cocked an eyebrow.

"You can relax, I'm not gonna eat ya."

Willow's face flushed again.

Faith grinned widely.

"So you **do** like the ladies."

"I guess you could say that."

"Tara's a cool chick. Be good to her."

"You weren't the first time you met her."

"And I already apologized for it, so get over it."

"Goddess, you're so the same."

"And you're...well...fuck it, I don't actually know if you are." Faith said with a shrug. She turned and patted the seat by her side.

"Care for a seat, Red?"

Willow felt the nervous twitch in her hands as she hesitated before sitting down.

"Why not? I love taking seats next to former psychotic Slayer murderers! My favorite pastime, really, it's really like a soothing hobby for me, you know? Just so relaxing and full of-"

"You can stop being a bitch now."

Silence.

Willow turned to say something as Faith turned hers.

"I'm sorry, I-" "Listen, I-"

"Sorry, you can-" "Sorry, go ahe-"

Pause.

Faith grinned nervously.

"Go ahead."

"I was, um...just going to say sorry for that whole rambling thing, you know, cause I seem to do that a lot whenever I'm super nervous, and oh! Sorry about the psychotic murderer comment, I tend to get really blabbermouthy when it comes to stuff like this. Not that you know, you make me blabbermouthy, just that I just get super nervous because I'm just not used to...well, what I'm trying to say is that I haven't been accustomed to situations where I have to sit and talk about the past and stuff like that, cause usually I'm talking to Buffy or Xander or Giles, even, so-"

"Okay, when I said go ahead, I didn't mean a mile per second." Faith interjected quickly before Willow fainted from lack of breath.

Willow blushed.

"Right. Sorry."

"So..." Faith pursed her lips, blowing the air out of her lungs.

"So..."

"How do we um...fix this whole thing?" Faith asked, turning to Willow questioningly.

Willow licked her lips before she gnawed at them.

"Well, there's this spell...thingy..."

Faith's eyebrows went up.

"A spell thingy. Sounds solid."

"Hey, these things are not easy, Faith, you should know that."

"Uh...I don't."

"Oh. Yea. Well, even if you didn't know...well...now you do." Willow finalized with a nod of her head, the tone of her voice sounding ever so much like one of a demanding little child.

"Right."

"Anyways, so this spell...wait. How much has Tara told you?"

"Enough."

Willow hesitated. She wasn't sure if she should say much; she didn't even know if she wanted to help in the first place. It was Faith, afterall. But even Faith deserved a second chance, she knew that. This was a time to forgive; it wasn't like she was without her faults and mistakes throughout her life. Besides, Faith probably had reasons that none of them knew about. Lailo had seemed pretty upset and disturbed at the memories of Faith's past, both recent and far-back before her Slayer days.

"In pure and plain English, it's a recovery spell. "

"For memories?"

"Well, not really. It's really for anything that just happens to be lost."

Faith's eyebrows furrowed.

"Isn't that a little bit risky? I'd have thought there was some truth serum shit that I could inject or something."

The redhead was impressed by the level of thought the Rogue Slayer was putting into the whole thing.

"A truth serum is mostly for the sake of retrieving information that's being withheld. There **is** a memory spell, but the exact way of performing it has been lost in the books, plus-" Willow made a cringing face.

"...not a lot of success other than one or two that has been recorded. It's better to use the recovery spell but re-direct it towards memories. **Your** lost memories, specifically."

"Huh. How long do you think it'll take for you guys to figure that shit out?"

"Hopefully not too much longer, we've been working on it since Tara walked out talking about it."

"Think it'll hurt?"

"Um...we can't really be completely sure about that, since, you know, I haven't had it done to me, or anybody else that I know for that matter. So I guess it could hurt, though I think you could totally handle it, being a Slayer and whatnot, so no worries! Don't even let that cause any doubts or fears, cause I'm sure once we figure it out, it'll be just fine! We could probably even put you on an anesthetic, since it might even be easier to just have you knocked out when we do the whole shindig, so who knows? I don't, but we'll all talk about it before we start anything-"

"Okay, enough with the babbling already!"

"Oh! Sorry, I get really-"

"I know."

"Right."

Faith couldn't help the grin. She held out hand to the witch, indicating for her to shake it. When Willow hesitatingly reached for hers, Faith grasped it firmly - yet gently - and looked Willow straight in the eyes.

"Willow, I'm sorry for anything I might've done to hurt you in the past. I hope when you guys return my memories, I'll be able to remember that you were willing to give me another chance, whether I deserved it or not."

Willow had to swallow the lump in her throat.

"It's really no problem, Faith. No problem at all." Pity her voice was a little squeaky.

Faith let go.

"Well, thanks anyway. I guess I'll see you when my memories are back, yea?"

"I guess so." Willow said hastily, before walking out the door.

She didn't look back; she wouldn't have known what to think.


	27. Chapter 27

**I realize, very much so, that it has been quite a while. I profusely apologize, my personal life has been a bit more than uninspiring, lately, but here I am. **

**This is starting to get harder and harder to write, considering the pressure of how "just right" I should make it, so bear with me. You should be rather excited; Buffy's turn is next (Though, I am not saying that it will be in the next chapter. We'll see.) **

**All in all, enjoy and do review; it actually gets me motivated.**

* * *

"My turn, then?" Cordelia asked, standing up and smoothing out her top.

"Yes, unless Buffy wishes to go first?" Wesley stated, right before everyone turned to look at her.

"No thanks, I can wait."

"Ooh. Big surprise." The taller brunette commented sarcastically as she fixed her hair, adjusted her jewelry, and grabbed for her purse.

"Gee Cordy, going on a date?" Buffy threw back.

"I'm surprised you can distinguish nice clothes from the shit you put on everyday. I always assumed you just wore pastels to **your** dates."

Ouch.

"Some of us actually believe in saving our own money to go to college; you know, to get an **actual** education?"

Double ouch.

"And the rest of us prefer not to live the next four years like we have for the past eighteen years, and instead, follow our dreams and meet new people in hopes that it could actually open our minds rather than to keep it narrowed down to one single perspective, **Buffy**." Cordelia snapped before stepping into the room and slamming the door shut.

Triple ouch.

As if any of them really had a response for **that**.

* * *

"Let me guess, brunettes vs. blondes thing?"

Cordelia rolled her eyes before sitting down.

"Something like that, though I'd have to say it was more of a intelligence vs. stupidity thing."

Faith chuckled and relaxed into the pillow.

"I can see why we're such good friends."

"A severe dislike for blondes and stupidity, check." Cordelia said promptly as she made an invisible check with the invisible pen in her hand.

"Ha. Exactly."

Pause.

"So." Faith said, staring at her white sheet covered toes.

"So what more do I have to fill you in on? Cause if they gave you the Scooby coated version of everything, I might just have to go in and give you your version of the story." Cordelia stated matter-of-factly, looking at her straight in the eye.

Faith raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms.

"And that's going by the concept that you **know** my version?"

Cordelia didn't break her strong gaze and firmly set her jaw. She wanted Faith to believe her. Needed her to. Because Faith had confided in her about things that she hadn't in Angel. Few things, small things, but important things. And now Cordelia was determined to use said information to hopefully fill in the last remaining blanks before they could complete that memory spell.

"Yes."

Faith looked at her scrutinizingly.

"And how will I know?"

"Because **I** know what was wrong with the story Giles told you about Finch's death."

Faith's eyes widened, narrowed, then flashed white for an instance as she blinked.

"What?" Her voice was low and gravelly, almost greedy.

Cordelia took a deep breath and began.

"You said that you can't remember what was wrong; the whole story seems pretty valid, doesn't it? You and Buffy are out and about, feeling high off of the adrenaline and Slaying vampires galore. Then suddenly there's a human that stupidly gets in front of you and you stake him while Buffy tries to stop you. Now you're a killer and Buffy's the innocent bystander. Pretty foolproof and easy for Buffy to get out of that one, isn't it?" Cordelia's voice took on a bitter tone at the end, her own anger at the situation taking over.

"Are you telling me that I told you different?" Faith asked, head cocked.

Cordelia Chase leaned in closer with fierce eyes and said,

"When Allan Finch first stepped out in front of you guys, it wasn't you who first reacted. It was Buffy. He stepped in front of Buffy, and **it was Buffy** who grabbed him, **Buffy** who pulled him around, and **Buffy** who shoved him into the dumpster in front of you, where she knew you had your stake out and ready to jump and kill."

Pause.

Faith's hands began to shake.

Cordelia continued softly.

"You told me you felt guilty for always going back to that memory and for hating Buffy for blaming you for something she was always equally a part of. And I always told you that you had every right to be angry. You still do. What happened was wrong, but it was also an accident. You couldn't help staking him just like she couldn't have helped pushing him in front of you."

"But I snitched her out to Giles..." Faith was in a daze of memories, eyes clouded with the images that were pushing past the static.

"Just as she was about to snitch **you** out to him. Everybody thought it was you. **You** even thought it was you. But once you told me - years later - about Buffy grabbing him; I knew the truth. It wasn't all you. It never was." Cordelia said with finality. With a sense of triumph.

She grabbed Faith by the shoulders.

"Listen, no matter what anybody ever said, you're not all the worthless shit you think you are. I don't know how many times Angel and I have had to remind you about the times you helped out. You have good in you, Faith, you always have. Sure, you messed up, but who doesn't? You've been working so hard to fix everything; you...I..." Her voice faltered as she was overwhelmed with sudden emotion.

Cordelia realized something she didn't grasp before.

Faith's eyes glazed over as she watched Cordelia's face phase through different emotions.

"You love her." She said, wonderingly.

Cordelia's eyes glanced up.

"...me." Faith corrected herself softly.

"Well I...no, I..."

"Did you ever say? I mean, did I ever know?"

The slender, beautiful girl could only feel her heart beat faster. Could feel the relief in having it out in the open. Could feel the pain in knowing there was nothing that could ever be given in return.

Faith had lost her heart someone else years ago.

"Even if you did, it wouldn't have mattered."

Faith's brows furrowed.

"Why-"

"Because you're already taken."

"What?"

Cordelia stood up and let out a deep breath and smiled.

"You'll understand soon enough; trust me."

"I-"

Faith was left talking to a closing door, catching a glimpse of the tears in Cordelia Chase's warming eyes.

* * *

And now it was Buffy's turn.

Cordelia's time was actually much shorter than she'd anticipated, and the ending result was more than intriguing; the young woman stepped out and excused herself immediately to the restroom to - so as she said - "fix her makeup".

Everyone looked her hesitatingly.

"Buffy..."

She sighed.

"I know."

She stood up and licked her pretty lips nervously, smoothing out her blouse in anxiety.

Why she was so nervous, she probably couldn't tell. Wouldn't tell.

"My turn." She whispered to herself softly before heading towards the door that could mean her salvation.

Or her damnation.


	28. Chapter 28

**I know this has taken forever; forgive me. Many things have occurred in life, but I promise, I haven't forgotten about the stories. Please enjoy and review.**

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When the world passes the minutes, Faith passed hours.

Days, even.

Her mind raced, and Lailo could feel the darkness pulsing against her own power. And she'd been the one who planned on letting it in the beginning.

In any case, the memories were sliding into place, but the connections were still faulty. She could see clearer now, but through the eyes of strangers. Through the eyes of those who she didn't know she knew, of those who thought they knew what she knew, of those who thought in any other way besides the way she could ever think.

The way she did think.

The way she would think.

Will think.

Lailo's only purpose now was to make sure that Faith's everlasting vortex of darkness wouldn't be the victor of this battle.

To make sure vengeance - no - **justice**, was served.

By God, when had she started going soft?

But the girl hurt, like nobody else could hurt. She was abandoned, betrayed, abused, damaged, raped of the life she could've had.

Those people out there couldn't have known, Lailo could give them that.

But they should've tried.

Nobody ends up the way Faith ended up without some sorts of demons in her pretty little head, but no. They were just so happy to be indifferent. So pleased with being less fucked up than she was. So eager to be ignorant because they couldn't ask the right questions and easy to pass it off because she didn't have any answers to their wrong ones.

_Buffy pushed him in front of me._

It resonated.

Lailo embraced it.

The murky black engulfed it. Used it to add to itself.

Faith herself wasn't sure.

A little short-ended, most likely.

It seemed she never got the better half of the deal. Except when she was bad.

Perhaps she was born to be bad? That's what she's been thinking all her life anyway, wasn't it?

It wasn't easy being her.

Worlds were building up and falling down as she thought; just thinking.

Everything was so close to clear.

It was all...almost there.

_Tap tap. Creak._

Pause.

"Faith?"

Beat.

"May I come in?"

Faith's eyes could do nothing else but glance up through her eyelashes at her newest visitor.

The one that made her scar throb and her senses tingle.

The only one she truly feared.

* * *

As clear as it was that Buffy was uncomfortable to be alone with Faith, it was even more obvious just how much Faith did **not** want to be alone with her.

"I don't know why I'm in here, actually, since we're not even the best of friends, but Angel said this might help you remember stuff and so I guess I can just-"

"Sacrifice your holy self for little old Faith?" Faith asked with a quirk in her eyebrow.

"Were you always this self-righteous? Cause it'd explain why we didn't get along."

Buffy flushed. Even without her memory Faith was characteristically a button-pusher. Always trying to get under everyone's skin as if it was her unofficially appointed job.

"We didn't get along, Faith, because you-"

"Clashed horribly with you?"

"Well, yea, basically. Plus you went evil and started killing people."

"Oh, of course. How could I forget that? Oh wait. I think I did." The sarcasm dripped from her tongue as she seemed to sit up a little from the bed, fists unconsciously tensing.

"Geez, Blondie. You think you could just keep things in context for a few minutes? I don't remember shit, and I get that you don't like me, but hell, if this is how you treated me back then, I can pretty much get why I went beserk on you."

"Faith, you literally took everything in my life and twisted it around! How could I ever forgive you for that? I can't!"

"Can't? Or you won't?"

"I-"

"Listen." Faith cut in again.

"I get it. You hate me, you'd rather swallow fire than to talk to me, but here you are, talking. We're trying to revive my memory, right? So why don't you just tell me the story in your words? Like...what happened? What did she...I...whoever I am, do?"

That was a thought. It was a good idea, too, which was pretty surprising in itself.

Buffy paused. To tell the story would be starting from the very beginning. From past, to present, which covered a few years. Was it a good idea to tell her the whole thing? It could vengeance Faith to break out again. But then, it could also help trigger Faith's whole memory, which in turn would help cast the bad out sooner and more effectively. And generally less dangerously. If only Buffy was any good at weighing out the risks and figuring out what she wanted without being distracted by silly things as she was prone to do...

"It's probably a better idea to tell me than to wait for whatever the hell Giles and the rest of your crew is planning." Faith said calmly, eyes giving away nothing while she gazed calmly at Buffy.

"I-"

"Well, I already know, but I just want to know what exactly is going on. I'm tired of not knowing shit."

There was a twinge of guilt as Buffy recalled that they often made it obvious that Faith never really knew anything. Was never really a part of all the things they did while she was there.

Silence.

"Are you just gonna sit there, or are we gonna-"

"You showed up, one day, out of nowhere." Buffy interrupted quickly, before her nerve was lost on her.

Faith closed her open lips and sat back slowly, waiting for more.

Wanting to know more.

Needing to know everything through the eyes of this girl that sat beside her, this girl that she felt held the key to everything. Everything she was looking for.

"At a club, I saw you dancing."

God, could it even be called that? It was like her movements were calling for the world to see her in her full glory, alluring and deceptively vulnerable for the eager and hungry eyes of those who needed something new. Something exciting.

And she caught a vampire in her mystery, in her net of lies and misleading gestures that she learned from the streets she grew up on.

What Faith never knew was the others she caught along with him.

Buffy saw the danger, called it **duty** then, following them out, the rest of the Scoobies in her wake, following **her** lead.

Not that she knew what she was doing.

Just that she had to get rid of him.

Remember mostly the hand that brushed against her body as it snatched at the stake.

Just to borrow it for a little while.

Faith was the type to borrow.

Borrow for a little while before she got bored and went on to the next thing. From the stake to her friends, to her family, to her role, to her men, to her-

...enemies.

That's how she felt. How Buffy felt, throughout the whole ordeal. Just felt like Faith was some sort of parasite, taking everything she loved from her, taking everything she cared about and making it her own.

It's what Faith was always good at.

"So basically I'm a people-stealing whore."

Yes.

"No, that's not what I'm-"

"Jesus, B, if you could've looked into your own eyes when you said the shit you just did." Faith spoke exasperatedly, turning her head away.

"Crucify me, for God's sake, but the Boss must've meant something to me, cause I wouldn't do that kind of shit for no reason. There's gotta be a real reason as to-"

"You called me B." Buffy said, amazement in her voice.

It had been much too long since she'd heard the nickname, having despised it for so long, it felt almost good to hear it again. In the voice that originally brought it about.

"Yea, so?"

"That's what you used to call me. Before...the accident."

Faith paused, scrutinizing Buffy under her contemplative gaze. It seemed a little strange to Buffy that Faith was being so blatantly observant; maybe she just hadn't noticed Faith's sharp, absorbing eyes before, always so distracted by the words the girl spoke instead.

But now the girl had nothing to say; she didn't have enough information to.

"Everything else, B. I want you to tell me everything else." Faith said softly, though her eyes pierced through what Buffy felt was her own damned soul.

Everything else, Faith said.

It required a big breath.

_Here goes._


	29. Chapter 29

**Again, I apologize, I know I keep updating late, but I have a damned good reason and I'll tell you now that it is...kind of my fault. But in any case, this chapter is here, and I shall be working on the next. I promise I haven't forgotten you lot just yet.**

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* * *

**

The story piles in, out, in, out, gathering within the threshold of her own mind, filling in the blanks that only **she** could fill. It hurt more, hearing the story this time around, than with the others. It wasn't all that different, but...

...but it was.

The memories slid into place; the banter, the dancing, the music, the laughing, the synchronization, the fights, the arguments, the betrayal, the hate...

All going into detail and mixing and molding into the final answer that made sense but for some reason there seemed to be a core element that was missing, the only thing that Faith really wanted to grasp upon; remember, hold, cherish, recall to the very last bit of her, due to the fact that it was all of her...

The Slaying.

"And then you just...left." Buffy finished softly, feeling her throat choke up a bit with emotions she didn't realize she felt about the whole issue.

Faith had been silent the whole time, just listening to Buffy speak, obviously trying hard not to fall asleep when the morphine kicked in.

"You know what? I think you really fucked this chick over. **Me**, over."

"What? You're cra-"

"Crazy, I know. So I hear. But think about it. What do you know about me? Other than the whole psycho murdering slut gig?"

Buffy opened her mouth to splurge all the things she knew about Faith that this amnesiac Faith didn't know about herself already...

...but couldn't.

There was nothing to say.

"What's wrong, Buffy? Vamp got your tongue?"

"No, I...there's...you were...there's a lot that you just don't know, Faith. Back then, and now." Buffy retorted defensively, sitting up taller, hands interlocking on her lap, fingers tightening; internally recognizing the fact that Faith had her at checkmate, but not wanting to admit it was true.

"So fucking enlighten me, Blondie. I'm all about learning new things."

Buffy opened her mouth to speak, but Faith beat her again to it.

"You talk about all this stuff and I'm grateful and whatever, but come on, Buffy! You hardly mentioned any of the times we went Slaying, and all the stuff that had to do with this fucked up connection is all missing!"

Buffy felt her heart stop.

"W-what connection?" She stuttered, the knowledge of such being pushed from her mind.

Besides, didn't she want nothing to do with Faith?

But Buffy knew different. She wanted to come here, she wanted to see Faith, she wanted to **help** Faith, she wanted to talk to Faith, she wanted to...

_Wanted to what?_

Nothing.

_Bull shit._

"You know what? If it was any other way, I'd think this chick liked you. Or I did, whatever."

"What? You're cra-"

"Crazy, I know. So I hear. But no, think about it. Who did she...I, whatever, flirt around the most with? You. She hung around you the most; none of your other friends really hung out with her. They seemed more jealous than happy that she was around. Means you hung out with her more when she **was** around, yea? So all that, with no explanation and/or information about this lack of connection?"

"I...well, you...but..."

"You well I but what?"

"Shut up, Faith. Shut up, or I'll-"

"Stab me like you did before?"

Buffy's heart jumped to her throat.

Faith's eyes narrowed, and her voice lowered into a growl.

"What, you thought I didn't know? You thought I wouldn't somehow find out that the very last reason I had to not live was delivered by my own knife and your tiny little hands? Did you think you could hide that from me, like you try to hide the fact that you want her as much as she wants you?"

The change in subject made Buffy glance up quickly.

Faith's eyes were not quite white, but they certainly weren't normal. It was as if someone had put a film over her natural eyes, as if she was blind. A milky color that shaded her.

What did it mean?

"Lailo."

"Yes. Although slowly things are falling into place for the girl; soon I will no longer have a hold upon her, and the rest shall be up to you all."

Buffy didn't want to hear any of the prophetic crap. She already knew the prophetic crap. Buffy wanted to hear more about this wanting business. It made no sense whatsoever. She didn't want Faith, and Faith most certainly didn't want-

"You truly are a fool if you think you ever knew what you really wanted. And even more so if you thought you knew what she wanted."

"Listen-"

"So quick to make judgments, you are. So eager to make every single little piece fit into your visions of a perfect world made just for you. But nothing's that simple, Twinkie, and you're gonna have to learn that soon enough."

Twinkie.

Lailo...Faith...both or none called her Twinkie. Faith was on the brink of return and Buffy wasn't sure that she was ready for it.

No.

She was pretty sure she wasn't at all.

It was too soon.


	30. Chapter 30

**I know, I know, it been a while. But like I promised: I haven't forgotten about it. Enjoy it, please review it. The more, the better.**

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"It's been years, Buffy, but now that I'm here with a clean slate, you can't even tell me about the things that were important?"

"There was a connection. The **Slayer** connection." Buffy stressed quickly, trying to avoid all mention of anything else.

Because, of course, there wasn't anything else. Right?

Right.

"And what the fuck does that mean?" Faith asked, cocking her eyebrows.

_Cute._

Wait, wait. That's a bad thought; stop staring.

"Um...it means we were connected somehow, through our Slayer lineage. We can feel each other when we're near, and together we're-"

"Pretty much unstoppable. So what happened, why didn't any of you try to help me?"

"I did! I did everything in my power to-"

"Save me." Faith shut her down quickly, face starting to flush in heated argument.

"As if I was one of your damsels in distress, Buffy, you guys were busy trying to save me when all I needed was someone to help me. You acted as if I was already a bad guy and through that, you managed to push me into really being the villain."

Faith was never this logical. Or maybe she was and Buffy just didn't find the time to listen.

"I mean, what am I looking for here? How do I get my memories back and still stay alive?" She asked, almost confused at herself and the world around her.

"I..."

_...have to forgive you._

"...we're still figuring it out. Something about forgiveness or the other on our part. To you, I guess." Buffy mumbled, and as adorable as that was (for some odd reason), Faith could feel her frustration burning.

"And why can't you give it to me? What could I possibly do to get you guys to forgive me? I hardly even know what I-"

**"It's too soon!"**

Silence.

So still you could hear every pulse of air that flittered through the vents on the ceiling.

So silent that Faith could hear the single tear slowly slide down Buffy's cheek.

So painstakingly quiet that neither women could speak another word.

Buffy lifted a finger, brushed away the lone drop on her skin, turned, and swiftly walked out of the room.

* * *

When Giles opened his mouth to speak, she could only hold up a hand and shake her head as she steered herself toward one of the glass doors outside. She took in a deep breath of the fresh air and sighed.

If only she had a cigarette.

"You know, when you told me she was crazy, I didn't realize it was because she was in love with you."

She turned to her right, where Spike sat under the fluorescent lights, blowing smoke from his thin lips.

"What are you talking about?" Buffy was in no mood for these little games people insisted on playing with her; much less a fucking vampire with a faulty chip and an increasingly irritating crush.

"Oh come off it, love. I heard you two talking."

Buffy rolled her eyes. Of course he'd be eavesdropping, the stupid vamp. She had half the mind to stuff his cigarettes down his stupid throat.

Or smoke them all herself.

"'Sides...it's bloody obvious. Saw it in her eyes. Heard it in her voice. She's smitten for you, Slayer. You've got her by the fucking balls and she's not even a chap!" He chuckled, flicking his cigarette away, letting out the last bit of smoke from between his smiling teeth.

"You've got to be kidding me." Buffy muttered as she rolled her eyes.

He was obviously insane; who else but a crazy loony vampire get love out of the heated conversation she'd just left to boil moments beforehand? He had some issues and Buffy had no time for any of them.

Spike scoffed at her gesture and lit another cigarette with ease; Buffy half hoped the sun would rise unannounced.

"She's not afraid of you, she just fears what you can and have done to her. She's not angry with you, she's just angry at the world and how unfair it's been to her. She's not bloody psycho, she's just doing what she's been taught to do her whole life!" He took another drag and sat up a little higher, as if to emphasize his next words.

"For the time being that you two were still close, she played by your rules, followed your guidelines, watched your back, and helped you out through all the buckets of mess you lot had to climb through."

Pause.

Drag.

Exhale.

"And you still think she never cared? Christ, that borderlines absolute devotion, if there ever was any in this bloody world." He stood up abruptly, flicked his unfinished cigarette into the gravel and brushed himself down.

"Just a bit of food for thought, love. Think on it." He said with a pointed smile, and it was all she could do to stop herself from slamming his face into the pavement.

"There's nothing to think on, Spike, and if you're smart, you'll get that ridiculous idea out of your head." Buffy snapped as she - stoically - marched back into the hospital.

The rush of air conditioned air was a nice feeling, but it did nothing to help her nerves. Despite her outwardly calm appearance her thoughts were flitting through the ever so many links in her brain, screaming for attention.

She sighed to clear her head.

Needless to say, it didn't work.

She sighed again as she sat down in one of the many chairs in front of Faith's room.

"Why the double sighs?"

Buffy looked up, catching Willow's concerned green eyes with an open book in hand.

"Something wrong, Buffy?" The kindly witch spoke again, sitting beside her best friend, curious about the conversation that went down in the room earlier, but too polite to ask directly what was said between the two headstrong Slayers.

"No. Well, yes, but no. Not really, but kind of. Sort of. I don't know."

Pause.

"Do you...want to try that again?" Willow asked with a stifled giggle, hand still clutching the open page with unconscious strength.

Buffy sighed for the third time, fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, head slowly shaking like she couldn't believe this was all happening; it was, afterall, a rather fascinating situation at hand.

"The conversation I had with Faith went nowhere, Spike just irritated the shit out of me, and all I know is I'd take any apocalypse, any day, over this."

Willow pursed her lips for a moment, then spoke again.

"Well which part do you want to start with? Faith? Spike? Or are they related?"

"Somewhat."

"Ooh. Dish the dirt."

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea."

"Oh come on, Buffy, we've been best friends for years already."

"I don't know, Wills..."

"I can keep a secret! You know me, best friend, trustworthy witch with a good, secret-keeping mouth and whatnot! And, and, all that other best friendsy stuff!"

"It's really not that important."

"Well it must be, if you're hiding it."

"I'm not hiding it."

"Uh huh, sure."

"It's really nothing."

"Lies! I can spot one a mile away!"

"Willow..."

"Buffy...see? I can do the threatening deep voice thing, too, if it calls for it. I mean, it's not like I have anybody to tell. Other than Xander. And I guess Giles, too...or Tara. And maybe even Anya, but even still-"

"He thinks she's in love with me!"

Whoops.

It came out before she could stop herself; the pressure had kept building and it was strewn out in front of the world to see.

Or just Willow, but she wasn't so well known for keeping face.

Pause.

"Well, I can see how he got that."

What?!

"What?!"


	31. Chapter 31

**Gosh, I know it's been a while, and I know this is an incredibly short update, but you must make do, for the middle of the term is coming up and I'll be damned if I don't keep up with all this bollocks. Enjoy and review!**

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Something was happening.

Something...chemical.

Reactive.

Potent.

Powerful.

Spiritual.

Something.

A loud retched scream left the room, a white mass of light gathering and dispersing with a blink of an eye throughout the hospital and shaking the grounds it stood on, every light spraying glass shards as they burst apart.

Buffy couldn't have run any faster.

"Faith!"

They followed in after her, watching Faith's body lift up as though she was going through electroshock, the light shining from every orifice on her body.

"What sort of exorcist shit is this?" Spike shouted through the sound of wailing wind.

"Anya?"

"Well Lailo's leaving her body."

"Obviously, but what the hell is happening to **her**?!"

"You don't have to yell, I'm right here."

"Anya!"

"Well it looks like something's rejecting Lailo from her body."

Another wail.

"Like what?" Willow asked frantically, helping the others hold Faith's body down onto the cot.

"It could be any number of things, really-"

Sudden silence.

Faith's body went limp and as the light vanished it appeared in Lailo's form, also limply lying on top of Faith's.

Cue jealousy.

And even Buffy couldn't deny what it was.

* * *

"Faith?"

"Lailo?"

After a couple moments, Lailo's eyes opened, and she slowly sat up.

"That, was one of the least favorite memories I will harbor for a while." She said melodically, shaking her head slowly and then taking a long look at Faith's sleeping face.

"What happened?" Angel demanded lowly, voice barely a growl.

"She's well. Everything...is back in place."

But...

"But?" Giles interluded, knowing there had to be something that would overpower the good news.

"But her heart will fail, and her will to live is dying. In this state, she will not awake until something in her changes, and I cannot do anything about it." Lailo sighed softly.

"What do you mean, you can't do anything about it? Her memories are back, why the hell wouldn't she wake up? Why?!" Cordelia was livid, inches from Lailo's face and ready to claw her way to Faith and shake her out of this new coma.

Buffy could understand; she was moments from it herself.

Lailo pointed a finger at her, eyes telling her the truth.

"Only you can help her."

"But..."

"But nothing, Buffy! Do something!" Cordelia cried exasperatedly, shaking a hand in her direction.

"Like what? What do you want me to do, Cordy, I may be the Slayer but I'm only human, too!" Buffy shouted back, sick and tired of this mess she got herself into, confused by the random twinges of jealousy and suspicion every time someone got too close to the one person she thought she could learn to care less about.

"God, you're so blind, aren't you, Buffy? You're just so far up your ass you can't even see it, can you?"

"See what, Cordelia?" Giles asked questioningly, while some of the others cocked their heads in confusion.

The tall thin brunette couldn't control herself or her voice as it cracked in its ringing truth,

"That she loves you!"


	32. Chapter 32

**I know, I know, it's been a jolly long time, has it not? About a month, really, since I've updated. I've hit a bit of a writer's block, so excuse the lack of updates and the short ones that I do. Please enjoy and review; I'll do my best to get the next part up as soon as possible!**

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Her voice resonated.

_That she loves you._

_She loves you._

_Loves you._

_Loves._

_You._

No.

It couldn't be true.

But all the signs were there.

All the haunted whispers, the looks, the sighs, the fleeting moments where their hands touched on the dance floor...

The little secrets she shared with her when nobody else was allowed the privilege of even knowing her last name.

Something even Buffy didn't know.

It was so blatantly obvious that they'd all missed it.

Their love was all so simple.

But hers...

No. Her love was meant to be convoluted and twisted, just like her past and shrouded like her future.

_Kiss her._

"What?"

Everyone just stared at her, and her mouth was open with shock.

_You are such a fool. Kiss her._

Buffy's eyes shot over to Lailo's, who nodded at her once, then nodded towards Faith's unmoving body.

_Go on then, you silly girl. _

They all looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to make a move, either out of denial or out of what Cordelia so firmly splurted out into the open.

* * *

Angel hoped Buffy would make the right choice.

Cordelia hoped she wouldn't be a fool.

Giles slapped himself mentally for not noticing earlier.

Wesley marveled at the development.

Spike merely chuckled at the irony.

Anya knew it must be true, if Lailo didn't interject.

Tara crossed her fingers tight.

Xander gaped in boyish innocence.

Willow pursed her lips in deep thought.

Dawn widened her eyes in wonder.

Faith laid there in deep sleep.

And Buffy?

Well.

Buffy moved as though another force was moving her as she came close, leaned over, and kissed Faith squarely on the lips.


	33. Chapter 33

**I know, it's been forever. Enjoy and review! It's almost done!**

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_Wake up._

Lailo's voice echoed in her head, and the feel of warm lips on her cool ones certainly startled her in her deep sleep.

Her eyes opened, and her gaze caught Buffy's, whose face had turned red in embarrassment and shock at what she just did.

"Buffy?"

Silence.

"...Faith?"

"Yea?"

"Do you remember me?"

**Me**, Buffy asked. She wanted her to remember her. Over anything else, please God let her remember.

"How could I not?" Faith responded, with a quirky but scared little smile on her face.

"Hard to forget someone who tried to kill yo-oof!"

Her breath was quickly knocked out by the impenetrable hug that Cordelia Chase was inflicting upon her.

"Faith! Thank God you're okay!"

"Heh. Hey Cordy. Long time no see, how ya been?"

Cordelia smacked the girl on the arm and placed her hands upon her hips mockingly.

"Worried sick about you and your stupid amnesiac self. Angel almost had an aneurysm!"

"Hey now, no, I didn't." Angel stepped in, eyes sparkling with relief.

"Well things are all good now, ain't it, Soulboy?" Faith asked with exhaustion in her voice. She looked about her and stared at the IVs hanging from her arm.

"What the fuck happened to me? Big Bertha run me over with a monster truck or something?"

Silence.

"...You don't remember?"

Everyone turned to stare at Lailo.

She just smiled.

"I thought it'd be an opportune time to cast the darkness out; she need not remember the horror of the time she spent in solitude. Speaking of, Angel, it was the guard with the scar upon his cheek who provided the knock to the head of hers."

"Good to know. I'm on it." He said immediately, reaching for his phone and stepping towards the door.

"So..." Faith trailed off, finally truly noticing the gathering in front of her.

Her eyes flashed in a touch of initiative anger then fear then settled into nothing.

"Where's the party? Why is everyone...here?"

"Well you did have the whole group worried for a sec, love." Spike drawled with a grin on his face.

"...why?"

Cordy shook her head.

"It's a long story."

"Too long." Angel added, coming back in through the door.

Faith turned her head towards Lailo and stared suspiciously.

"Who are you?"

"Lailo, at your service." The demoness replied casually.

"Or, technically, finished with the service. Since you have returned." She said in afterthought.

"What service? And what do you mean, since I've returned? ...what?!"

_She looks so cute when she's confused._

Whoa. Stop thinking, Buffy.

Buffy shook her head silently before coughing.

"Well, looks like our job here is done, guys! Back to Sunnydale we go!" She said hurriedly, darting towards the door.

Anya grabbed her by the arm and exclaimed.

"Wait just a minute. You can't just kiss a girl and run out on her! You have horrible wooing skills, Buffy, honestly!"

Buffy's face turned redder and Faith's eyebrows shot up.

"Say what?"

"In case you missed the memo, Buffy here just kissed you." Anya said impatiently.

"Honestly, you'd think Slayers would be the first to understand such a simple concept. Oh well, I suppose that's what they mean when they say all brawn and no brain..." She chattered on while the two Slayers faced each other, one standing and the other sitting up on the hospital bed.

"B?"

"...yes?"


	34. Chapter 34

**You are all much too kind. Anyways, after this, it's almost over. Maybe one, two more chapters afterwards! Enjoy and review, please!**

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"This would be easier if you looked me in the eye."

Silence.

Cordelia pursed her lips as she silently shooed everyone out of the room.

"Come on then, they need some time alone."

The door closed shut behind them, Buffy staring pleadingly at it, hoping someone would come back and save her from-

"Buffy."

Sigh.

_I suppose this is it, then._

She turned around to face Faith.

"Yes?"

"What did Blondie number two mean when she said..."

"Nothing. She didn't mean...anything."

"You kissed me."

Silence.

"...didn't you?"

"...yes."

"And that means nothing?"

"No! I mean, it meant something, it just...I just-"

"-don't want it to mean anything."

Silence again.

"...do you?"

Buffy bit her lip.

What could she say now, in a position such as this?

"What are we doing here, B? Why are we in this sitch? I wake up and suddenly everything's changed. Last time I heard, you hated me, and now..."

And now what?

That was a good question.

"Faith..."

"You kissed me." Faith murmured, putting her hand to her lips, grazing it lightly.

As if she almost...wanted to feel it again.

"Wish I could remember it. Bet it was quite a ride."

_Quite a ride_...

Buffy's heart stopped for a moment.

"Guess...guess we'll just call it quits then, huh?"

"...yea."

Buffy wanted to stop herself as she turned to step out the door for the last time.

"Well..."

She stopped.

And turned.

"...thanks for helping me out, whatever this was." Faith said softly, trying hard to hold Buffy's gaze, though the latter could only find it in herself to avert her eyes away from the piercing brown ones.

"Yea...it was no problem." Buffy said, turning, then leaving Faith behind to close her eyes.


	35. Chapter 35

**Well it's finally here; the end of this longass story. I do hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I promise there'll be a new fic up possibly today or tomorrow. Enjoy, review, and read more of my stories! Thanks.**

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_Ding dong._

"I'll get it!" Buffy called out from the kitchen, though it was much too early for anyone to give a damn.

She opened the door and was bombarded by a kiss.

When it was finally over, she gaped at the person standing in front of her.

"...Faith?"

"I couldn't let it go, B. Was just too good to let go. I've let go of a lot of good things in my life, Buffy, and this was just one thing I couldn't let go." Faith splurted out, hands wringing by her side.

"I..."

"I don't know how you do it, B, maybe you just don't care for me like I do for you but I couldn't keep going not knowing what this meant."

"Faith-"

"Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm just fucknuts dumb, but you kissed me first, B, and I want to know what it meant."

Pause.

Faith's eyes bored hopefully into Buffy's.

"I...am I just crazy, B?"

Silence.

Buffy didn't know what came over her but she tilted her head slightly, smiled softly, and leaned in for another kiss.

When they opened their eyes, Faith was beaming, and Buffy was blushing madly.

"I guess I'm not crazy, then?"

"Faith!"

"Oof!" Faith's breath went straight out of her as Dawn came tumbling down the stairs into her arms.

"You're finally here!"

"...finally?"

"Buffy's been moping like a wet rag ever since we left L.A.!"

"Oh has she?" Faith asked, quirking her eyebrows at Buffy.

Buffy blushed again.

"Well it's not as if she could hide her emotions all that well, now could she?" Anya's voice came muttering from upstairs, while Willow and Tara came down hand in hand.

"It's g-good to s-see you, Faith." Tara said softly.

"Good to see you too, T. Red."

Willow nodded her greeting towards Faith as well, smiling cutely.

"So...ah...how are things?" Faith asked awkwardly, drumming her fingers against her thigh.

"Well, Faith, it seems we have another demon on the loose, but it's certainly nothing we can't handle if you'd do us the honor of assisting us." Giles' voice came from behind her, as he stepped into the house with an open book in his hand.

"Sure, G-man. That's no problem. Just let me call Soulboy first." She glanced over at Buffy, who seemingly couldn't stop staring at her.

"Gotta let him know I got here all safe and sound." She finished as she headed over towards the phone in the adjoining kitchen.

Her thoughts were in perfect harmony as she dialed the numbers.

_"Wolfram and Hart, Cordelia speaking."_

"Hey Cor, things going crazy over there yet?"

_"Considering the crazy left us to go back to Sunnydale, no, things are quite calm around here, thank you."_

"Aw, still bitter I left?"

_"You hardly came back for two days, you slut."_

"Come on, C. I'll be back to visit."

_"And I bet you'll find an awful time to do it, too. You just have the most horrible timing, did you know that?"_

"I know, I know."

Pause.

_"So you got there okay?"_

"Yea. New bike Angel got me runs as smooth as-"

_"I __**don't**__ want to know."_

"...well, it's nice."

_"What about the losers?"_

"Getting along great, surprisingly."

Pause.

_"And Buffy?"_

Faith couldn't help but grin.

"Buffy...Buffy's amazing."

On the other line, Cordelia smiled softly, though her heart sighed with slight discontent.

_"Well good. I'm glad it's all turning out for you, Faith. I'll let Angel know you called."_

"Thanks, Cordy. For everything."

_"Well you know how good charity looks on the resume, Faith."_

"Fuck you."

_"Not your job, thank you very much."_

They shared a laugh.

_"Oh and Faith?"_

"Yea?"

_"You tell that blonde bimbo that if she even __**thinks**__ about breaking your heart, I will personally drive down and shove a stiletto up her uptight ass."_

Faith was about to respond when the phone was grabbed from her hand.

"I hear you loud and clear, Cordelia. And I promise I won't." Buffy said assertively into the receiver, eyes gazing into Faith's.

_"Good. I suppose I'll let you two go and fornicate like rabbits in a field. Thank god you two can't reproduce."_

"Haha, very funny. Goodbye Cordy."

_"Goodbye, Buffy. BYE FAITH!"_

Click.

Buffy glared at the phone from a foot away, ears still ringing from Cordelia's shouting.

Faith couldn't help but laugh.

"She's got a pair of balls on her, don't she?"

"God, I hope not. That's frightening beyond frightening."

Pause.

"Well, what are we waiting for?"

"What?"

"Let's go fornicate like rabbits in a field!"

"Faith!"

"You know you want to."

Pause.

"Oh, alright."

Faith grinned devilishly as she grabbed Buffy's hand and dragged her out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

Time for a good night.


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